It’s the 21st Century, People
Stuff I hate January 28th, 2008
Can someone please tell me why I can configure and order a pizza online and have it delivered to my house in 30 minutes, but I can’t get an HMO referral form from my doctor without making four phone calls and have no confidence that the referral will get where it’s going without making a fifth call?
It’s the 21st century, people. Can we please get online now?
When I call my doctor to get a referral, I’m greeted by an excruciatingly-long introductory message that explains what numbers to press on the phone to be connected to a certain place.
The first three “If you need to ______, press # ___” instructions tell you to press either 1, 2 or 3. You would expect the fourth option to tell you to press #4, wouldn’t you? Of course not. You press 15 on the keypad. Makes perfect sense.
Next, the nice recorded-voice lady tells me the seven pieces of information I need to leave in a message to get my referral, in very quick succession:
1. Name
2. Date of birth
3. Phone number
4. Doctor I need the referral for
5. Practice name and address
6. Nature of the visit
7. Health plan I have
Now, that’s all well and good, except I’m already stressed out that I won’t get all this information spat out in the right order and I’m not sure I heard it all. So I call back to go through the menu again and to hear the instructions again. Didn’t get it all. Call again.
Now, and only now, I’m ready to call back with all my information. I’ve rehearsed it well. I wrote it down on three post-it notes and I’m also on my second cup of coffee.
I leave all 7 pieces of information. But now do I press the pound (#) key to leave the message? Do I just hang up? What if they didn’t get it? Do I have any hope of reaching a person if I call again?
I guess I can call my doctor who needed the referral the next day. Another menu. Another wait until I get a human on the line. I finally get through and they confirm that they got the referral.
Yes, I’m glad I have health insurance. Yes, I’m glad it pays for my visit. But for crying out loud, can’t someone figure out how to set up a secure referral request system so I can do this online?
It would be such a simple form and I would get an email confirmation that everybody got what they needed. My God, my blog can do that! It boggles my mind that we are still using phones and fax machines for this process. You can’t tell me that the doctor’s office staff wouldn’t love this, too.
Thank you, slow, horrible, inefficient, non-online referral request system. Cripes, I could have had a pizza by now.
Stumble it!
January 28th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
You should try socialized medicine..it would drive you around the bend…:)))))))
robert bourne’s last blog post..To Take Him
January 28th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I hate phone menu labyrinths.
It reminds me of the Married With Children episode where Al was stuck in one for three days, only to have Kelly hang up the phone when he got up for a moment to use the bathroom and he had to start all over again.
Libertine’s last blog post..10 Celebrities I Love to Hate
January 28th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Robert is right.
In Canada, with socialized medicine, we don’t need to worry about that. All we need to do is pick up and go to a doctors office. And wait. And wait. And wait.
Make sure you take a clean pair of clothes and a washcloth, so you can give yourself a sponge bath in the waiting room bathroom sink. Also, take enough food to last at least a week.
The number one cause of death in Canada is heart disease – not from the disease itself but from waiting for treatment! ha!
January 28th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
If the instructions get too complicated on those “robo systems” I do one of two things:
1. I leave a message for the doctor’s nurse to call me back.
2. I hit “0”, which will usually get me a real person to talk to no matter what voice system I’m on.
I have actually had a conversation with my doctor about my perceptions of their phone routing system. The end result was they made some changes which made the system easier to use.
Lee’s last blog post..Sunday Scenery
January 28th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Please press 1 + *,, if you’d like me to leave a comment…
gt281’s last blog post..THE NEW WORLD……………..
January 29th, 2008 at 5:53 am
Robert — Counting my blessings.
Libertine — I don’t understand why we’re still dealing with menu hell. Everything in those greetings could be converted to an online form (drop down menus, checkboxes, fill in the blank fields, etc). Hopefully we’ll see this in my lifetime.
Mike — My sympathies. I know we have it good in the States. Not for free, though. Twenty years ago, I used to pay $6.50/mo for full coverage. Now it’s in the hundreds. More expensive, sure. But at least I’m not waiting in a queue, and that alone is worth it.
Lee — Good ideas, except in my job it’s hard to ask for a call back. I’m usually away from my desk. I shall try the “0” technique, although they’ll probably tell me to call back and leave a message in the appropriate mailbox via the menu. ARGGH!
gt281 — Beeeeep. Message received. Carry on.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:16 am
I have the same problem with voice recognition service assistance. To move on to a human, I just reply, Blar, Blar, Blar Blar, Blar Blar to bypass the automated fake human system. Works everytime. Take Care – Peter
Peter McCartney’s last blog post..Life is like a race
January 29th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Well, I would rather wait a bit than be denied care because I am not at hospital approved by my HMO. Nor would I want my HMO to deny me coverage, leaving me no options. People can complain about the wait times here in Canada, but suck it up. The alternative is much worse.
Steve’s last blog post..Teenager learned her lesson?
January 29th, 2008 at 10:38 am
What’s the number for this deal? I feel the need to leave this message:
1. Name: Large
2. Date of birth: Deep dish
3. Phone number: Stuffed crust
4. Doctor I need the referral for: Sausage
5. Practice name and address: Pepperoni
6. Nature of the visit: Mushrooms
7. Health plan I have: Extra cheese
Jeff’s last blog post..Editorial: Will we be stimulated?
January 29th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
The bad news is that even when you finally get connected to an actual human being, they ask you for all that information over again. It’s exasperating. But there is hope. My HMO – wonderful Kaiser, just kidding, has an online service. But you’re still stuck with not knowing if they really got your request, or not. Anyway, very good post. Love your writing.
Have a nice day.
Swubird’s last blog post..“Fire in the Spacecraft!”
January 29th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
..hmm? good question. Maybe the HMO’s can join up with the pizza parlors and have doctor referrals printed right on the box. you could kill 2 birds with one click.
sorry Kathy. i hate the phone. i rather do everything online than have to punch this or talk to someone.
Natural Woman’s last blog post..Money Monday Tip #11
January 29th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Uh, yeah, I’d like a large, meat lovers stuffed crust, with a side order of lipitor, and a bottle of viagra for later tonight. And that’ll be carry out, I’ll be by around 5:30, and I’m paying cash. Thanks
chris casey’s last blog post..A Committee to fight Obesity? LOL!
January 29th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Peter — In the absence of an online form, I’ll take “blar blar blar, now gimme a human.”
Steve — There are downsides to both types of care. It’s interesting for me to read about the other side. I’ve only known health benefits purchased through my employer.
Jeff — You have just created the perfect pizza! I’d order that up if I weren’t on a diet.
Swubird — I can see on the Kaiser web site you can do stuff like email your doctor, schedule appts and refill prescriptions. That’s exactly what I want! Oh, to dream….
Natural Woman — So funny. And, you know, I’m lucky I have a phone at my desk. What about people who can’t conveniently call from their workplaces? Huge pain to leave messages and call backs. I hate the phone, too. Everything that can be made online-able (yeah, I’m making that word up), should be.
Chris Casey — I gotta stop talking about food in every other post. This is just making me hungry. Your last blog post fits 🙂
January 29th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Everyone — I just got back from the eye doctor that I had to get a referral for. I asked them why doctor’s offices don’t have online request forms for referrals, appts. etc. They said it’s the insurance company that requires this antiquated faxing system, not them. She named one company who allows online referral requesting, but it’s not my carrier 🙁 So it turns out a better system DOES exist, I just can’t use it unless I switch providers. Rats!
January 29th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Ah yes. We need on-line healthcare options AND national pizza ordering reform.
Momo Fali’s last blog post..It’s Time To Invest In A Muzzle
January 29th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
The better crusade would be to get insurance companies to stop requiring a referral from primary care physicians. It’s a waste of time and there’s no real good reason for it.
Lee’s last blog post..The Man in the Mirror
January 29th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
I completely agree! With technology now I’m always surprised when certain things still have to be done over the phone, and not online in some way. Although, as a Florida voter I requested and absentee ballot with an email, and I never got one. So, who knows…. My comfort is that my vote technically wouldn’t count anyway.
StephanieC’s last blog post..best ensemble comedy
January 29th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Another smug Canadian here (which by the way is a great pizza choice). Of course, as mentioned above – if the disease doesn’t kill you, waiting for the treatment almost certainly will. In my real life I work for the phone company and ‘zero’ is almost always your best option – of course there are websites devoted to nothing bu publishing back door numbers into companies – if you’re into that sort of thing. Oh, and I hope it is nothing serious.
January 30th, 2008 at 12:23 am
Well, I’m not complaining about Canada’s health care system, ’cause for the most part I like it. But for a referral I have to make an appointment, which usually means time off work…blah blah.
But…what you went thru sounds like the phone system here! Annoying…and they even have a name for the automated voice. Emily. I hate Emily.
DrowseyMonkey’s last blog post..Stuck in SpyWare Hell
January 30th, 2008 at 5:46 am
Momo Fali — Hear, hear!
Lee — In a perfect world, yes.
StephanieC — With online technology, there’ll always be screwups, but I’d still like to have the option, figuring it’ll work 99% of the time.
Canucklehead — I’m intrigued by the Canadian system. Does that mean you don’t even bother going to the doctor if you just have a bad cold or something? All that waiting must mean a lot of time off work. Shame. And, no, nothing serious.
DrowseyMonkey — Time off work can mean lost wages for some. So there’s another problem. I hate “Emily” too!
January 30th, 2008 at 8:32 am
Jeff cracks me up.
Now I’m hungry for pizza.
The “dial zero” move DOES work!
You crack me up, too. Good luck at the doctor.
JD’s last blog post..I Sat Through Cloverfield Without Puking so you don’t have to
January 30th, 2008 at 9:26 am
Me think doctor is sick!
January 30th, 2008 at 10:59 am
Bravo Steve! Canadians who complain about our healthcare system have no idea how much worse it can be… what the problem is, people who take advantage of the free care and head out to the doctors or ER for colds, flu, etc. and clog up the waiting rooms. Jeebus; stay home and rest.. it’s a virus! I would NEVER trade our system for anything else. It may not be perfect, but at least EVERYONE is taken care of.
Maureen’s last blog post..You Can Dress Me Up, But…
January 30th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
JD — Pizza’s just what the doctor ordered.
footiam — Me thinks doctor needs to figure out the internet.
Maureen — That’s what happens here with people who have no insurance. The ER is their doctor’s office. My husband waited five hours to be seen for a sprained ankle behind people with non-ER issues. It was just so crowded. He wanted to take a number and get a call-back.
January 30th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
I would have punted. In other words, went to the doctor you wanted to get referred to and say you called and entered everything and faxed in the completed form. If its a paper based system, you can take advantage by saying you did what they wanted. Paper gets misplaced or lost in the post. But hey, that was not your fault. Let them prove you didn’t do it!
Croyus’s last blog post..These Days, This Benefit
January 30th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Here in the United Kingdom, we get free health care through the government funded National Health Service. However, ‘free’ is just another term for inefficiency. With GP waiting times taking approximately two decades (one decade if you make an appointment), it’s usually best to pay a metric shitload for private health care.
On the plus side, those low-paid nurses are totally easy.
Qelqoth’s last blog post..Tragedy of Citizen Kane
January 30th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
I have no idea. It boggles the mind.
terri’s last blog post..How cold is it?
January 31st, 2008 at 9:07 am
Croyus — Now there’s an idea I hadn’t though of. Although I find doctor’s offices pretty militant about referrals. I could be standing there with my arm hanging out of its socket and they’d probably still demand a referral.
Qelqoth — I’m curious now what private health care costs in a system like that. Probably work half the year to pay for it?
Terri — Me neither.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:47 am
Hi Kathy,
I share your pain. Doctor’s in general, especially their office staff workers are an overall pain in the a**. I always end up arguing with the snippy, know it all, and downright rude jerks who hold enormous power over you because you need an appointment. it’s always as though you’re bothering them in some way and I don’t take it. I get into fights with the yokels who work in my children’s pediatrician’s office all the time and I have no problem brining these incidents up with the doctor. I stopped going to a particular dentist because his phone receptionist complained, loudly and rudely to me, that I wanted to make an appointment on a day when she was looking to leave early. How the heck am I supposed to know that and why do I care? I could write and entire blog post about this, but this is your blog and I’ll shut up now. Thanks for letting me rant. Like I said, I share your pain. -Mike.
Mr. Grudge’s last blog post..Tales from the Notebook: Hello Neighbor
January 31st, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Mike — You’re a lot braver than me! I’d probably just sit and stew about it before complaining. Thanks for sharing your frustration. You KNOW you can always rant here. I welcome it!
February 19th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
My job since 2003 has been programming health care systems for both insurance processors and health care providers. Between government regulations and gross inefficiencies and incompatibilities it’s a real nightmare. One bright spot with the company I’m working for now is that we guarantee a 24/7 human technician response on the phone when a patient calls in.
Frank C’s last blog post..What Do You Make an Hour Blogging?
February 19th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Frank C — Whenever I go to a doctor’s office and look at the sea of paperwork they deal with, I thank God I don’t work there. I couldn’t deal with the amount of paper processing. Which is another reason things should be online (as long as it’s secure, of course). A 24/7 human response? That IS something!
February 23rd, 2008 at 9:29 pm
I’d settle for a human being who answers in something in a voice that is neither indifferent nor surly.
Mark Stoneman’s last blog post..Excitement about the Obama Campaign
February 24th, 2008 at 6:56 am
Mark Stoneman — Ha! It’s one thing to get a human, but another to get one who can be human.
May 7th, 2010 at 11:49 am
HAHA! Just wait til it all goes national! I could tell you horror stories with health care just on the state level!
.-= Crabby Blogging Lady´s last blog ..Oh Great, College Kids Are Out =-.