Do I Have OCD? Do I Have OCD? Do I Have OCD?
Fun, Stupid things I do March 5th, 2008I have issues and everyone knows it. It’s really only a question of degree.
While waiting to collect two friends for lunch yesterday, I was standing by one of their desks and noticed it was not aligned with the wall. “Rich, why is your desk crooked?”
“I don’t know. Does it bother you?”
“Yeah. I know. It shouldn’t. But fix it.”
And so he lifted the 200 pound desk and righted it because he knows if he doesn’t, I will whine and complain and then no one’s getting to lunch on time.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is an anxiety disorder:
characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). Repetitive behaviors such as handwashing, counting, checking, or cleaning are often performed with the hope of preventing obsessive thoughts or making them go away. Performing these so-called “rituals,” however, provides only temporary relief, and not performing them markedly increases anxiety.
I’m pretty sure I don’t qualify clinically, but I have my fair share of odd behaviors that might put me in the ballpark. Here’s my list of things that some might consider obsessive, irrational or just plain stupid. Is there an NIMH definition for stupid?
Let’s begin.
1. While driving, I’m troubled if I’m delayed by anything that puts my car under a bridge, however briefly. I don’t like to sit under an overpass because I think the bridge will fall and crush me.
2. I’ve never pressed the mileage reset button in my car. When I bought it new 7 years ago, there were only 16 miles on the odometer. I have never pressed the button that resets it to zero. I can’t do it. I don’t know why. I just can’t.
3. If it’s raining and I pull into my garage, I have to keep my wipers going until all the rain is cleared. I can’t let one or two streams of water crawl down the windshield. No drips allowed.
4. If I turn off a two-way lamp that has only a single-wattage bulb in it, I have to turn it to the OFF position, not the second position because I’m afraid juice will continue to flow and somehow that will start a fire.
5. I must align picture frames wherever I find them crooked. I’ve realigned pictures in my colleagues’ offices, in other people’s houses, and just recently, in a restaurant. Does that embarrass me? Yes, but I do it anyway and I feel better.
6. I won’t take a shopping cart at a store if it has papers or coupon flyers in it. I won’t pull them out. I’ll pick another cart.
7. I never let a microwave run down to zero on the timer. I have to catch it to within 10 seconds of finishing and manually shut it off. I love catching it at the one second mark. It makes me feel like I beat it in a race.
Shake your head if you will, but I would bet some of you have weirder things on your lists. Do you have any rituals? Anything you always have to do (or can’t do), yet can’t explain?
Please share. The only thing that keeps me afloat is knowing there are people worse off than me.
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Humor-bloggers are an obsessive bunch.
Stumble it!
March 7th, 2008 at 6:29 am
VE — I’m officially grossed out now. BTW, I still have the remains of a rotted pumpkin on my back porch. It’s beyond moldy. It’s become another entity. Wanna come over and help me get rid of it?
FerdC — Yes, yes, yes!
Bee — Probably throw an unreasonable fit for a while. I just reheated my coffee and caught it at the one second mark. I’m awesome, no?
March 7th, 2008 at 11:21 am
This feels like a support group! I like it – I feel good for who I am! lol
I have many quirks myself.
I have to rinse out all of my glasses before I pour liquid into them.
I sniff and rub my nose when I get nervous in a car, whether it is someone else driving or myself.
I think we can all relate to each other’s quirky things in one way or another.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Just found this site and love it ! I can say that I am probably as “whacked” as any one. I identify with #3, #5, #6, and #7. My magazines have to be organized – all facing the same direction, my money is in order by denomination AND facing the same direction. (I think that one comes from having worked in a bank)
The clothes in my closet are all hung with the front facing the spot I stand at when I open the doors.
I’m sure my list goes on but I need to go and check my money again to make sure it’s straight.
http://www.TheCapodimonteShoppe.com
March 7th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
OMG — when do all of you have time to live?
March 7th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
ive got one really annoying one, if i ever watch a whole youtube video/ read a whole blod etc. i have to read every comment after that is on that page fortunatly youtube only has a few per page but this website killed me
March 7th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Sarah — You might be interested in the support group I run with Jeff from the View From the Cloud blog. Here are the latest meeting minutes. Join us next time, will ya?
Kate — Glad you found The Junk Drawer! Good to have you on board. My husband and sister need to have their money in order, also. What I hate is that my husband must do his ordering at the checkout counter. He cannot move until all the heads are looking the same way. He doesn’t think it’s obsessive.
Carol — I wondered the same thing after a while. I think we might need to start a new support group!
Nige — I’m sorry this post nearly killed you. Forgive me?
March 8th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Whenever I spread cream cheese onto a bagel, I have to have it completely even and smooth, with every bit of the surface nicely covered. Takes an extra minute or 2, and the only time I’m even aware that I’m doing it is when someone who is waiting to use the cream cheese after me points it out.
March 8th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Susan — As in, “Lady, what’s your problem with the cream cheese?” I’m that way with buttering bread. The spread must be consistent and reach all four corners.
March 8th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
It’s curious; I have a problem being stopped in my car on top of a bridge. But this has only happened since seeing “The Mothman Prophecies”.
Ernie’s last blog post..Who The Hell Did This!?
March 8th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
Ernie — I have some trouble on bridges if I’m sitting too long to notice the rumble of other cars passing on the other side. I start to feel like it’s moving up and down. Mothman was a freaky movie. I wouldn’t watch it again. Too scary for me.
March 8th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Great blog! I like things nice and straight but my excuse is that, being a graphic designer has made me aware of alignment. Tins grouped in cupboards… well… being a graphic designer… switching the microwave off before it finishes… well… being a graphic designer. This is my excuse and I’m sticking to it.
Babs (Beetle)’s last blog post..1950’s Christmas
March 11th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I like to lay out my work uniform the night before, in the order in which I will put it on. It’s a great timesaver in the morning.
March 11th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Babs (Beetle) — Is is all about order, isn’t it? The world needs order!
ann of the shampoo bag — And just a little insane.
March 19th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I just ran across your page and thought I would comment. I have a couple of OCD tendencies that often come up in discussion!
I can’t use other people’s pens or pencils. I have my own set at work, and I also carry one around in my purse to use when I sign credit card receipts and so forth. If people use my pens, I immediately throw away, disinfect or just give it to them. I don’t know what it is!
When I go to the movie theatre or fly on an airplane, I can’t put my head back on the seat. I either bring a blanket with me and put on the seat or wear a hooded sweatshirt so that I can put my head back. Something about the thought of all the other million heads that have been there, kind of freaks me out!
And, I know that if I thought about money too much, I wouldn’t be able to touch it. I try to carry as little cash as possible!
I can’t stand feet. Your feet, my feet…any feet. I think they are gross and ugly. I do go and get a pedicure on a regular because they do need to look as pretty as possible. But, anyone with ugly feet makes me sick!
There are many, many, many more!!!
Ineffably’s last blog post..I Don’t Get It…
March 19th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Ineffably — Welcome to The Junk Drawer! You have quite a list there. So you have a germ thing goin’ on, eh? You’re right to lay a towel down where people’s funky heads go.
Now let me tell you something about feet. You would run screaming from mine. I have always hated them. I don’t even like my husband to see my freak feet. I put some strange pictures up on my blog, but my feet will never be one of them. Unless I get hit by a truck some day and it’s the last post I put up posthumously. It’d be a great way to go out, and I wouldn’t have to read the comments.
June 17th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
i have to click a pen at least three times before i use it
June 17th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
also i have to check ur blog at least twice a day and i have to comment on stuff even if its old
June 18th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
brooke — Those are good ones. Of course, I get a kick out of you posting on all my old stuff. It’s like a trip down memory lane seeing all these again. Thanks!
August 9th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
I was actually diagnosed with borderline severe OCD and I’m only fifteen!
I lock the front door every time I come into the house through it, and any time I see a lock to out of the house that’s unlocked it, I have to lock it. It really irritates my parents and my brother, because sometimes I lock them out.
I can’t hold cash with my bare hands for very long, and even then I wipe my hands on my pants. Coins I can’t hold at all. Sometimes I tell the cashier to keep the change, because I don’t want to have to touch it.
I’ve been counting things all my life- number of steps I take up the stairs, down the hall, to the car, how many strokes I take while swimming, how many bricks are on the wall, how many times I dribble the basketball, etc.
I’m not obsessive about cleaning like my mom is, but unlike my mom, I’m obsessive about germs. She doesn’t feel right if a room is dirty, I don’t care. I don’t feel right if I touch something like my toes with germs on it, my mom doesn’t care.
I also have symmetry problems and stuff like there can be no eraser shavings on my desk before I use it. I only identify with 1, 5 and 6, though.
August 9th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
I also wash my hands all the time. My knuckles are so dry and cracked that sometimes they bleed. I have a hard time using lotion because if it gets on my fingers or the palms of my hands, I have to wash it off, thus defeating the purpose. If I put lotion on my knuckles, I have to use the other hand’s knuckles to rub it in.
It’s so sick.
August 10th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Oh, Hayley, I’m so sorry you’re stricken with OCD to such an extent. I know many of us have mild OCD-like tendencies, but I’m truly sorry you have this to deal with in your life. I’m sure since you were diagnosed, you’re working with a doctor to find the best way to ease your symptoms. I sincerely hope that you can manage it as well as possible. My heart goes out to you.
August 22nd, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Haha yeah, funny thing is, I was working with a therapist for a while, but it got too expensive. I didn’t go there enough to do much. We did an exposure exercise where I had to hold a wad of cash I had in my pocket until it didn’t bother me anymore. The “film” my OCD imagines crept up my fingers and hands the whole session, and on the car ride home, I burst into tears because I couldn’t let it go (my OCD doesn’t like me to break the rules), but the film was crawling up my arms and I was getting claustrophobic. I ended up throwing the cash aside when we got home and running into the house crying my eyes out to go wash my hands for fifteen minutes. -sigh-
I can’t really manage it at all, I usually just give in, but I’ve had it my entire life so when I do resist, like with the exposure with the money, I freak out. I’m so used to doing what my OCD tells me to do that it’s horrible when I don’t or can’t.
Thanks for your concern though. 🙂
August 30th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Hayley — Oh, now you’re going to make me cry. I’m so sorry your therapy got too expensive. It’s a shame, because mental health issues are just as important as others. Mind/body. They go together! I’m sending you good vibes and hoping maybe something changes in your life that will allow you to continue on a planned, inexpensive road to recovery. BTW, on a totally different topic, I checked out your site and I, too, love Family Guy (and Legally Blonde, I’m not ashamed to say!) Be well.
October 26th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
I have OCD very badly. There’s not a single waking moment that I’m not doing it. When I leave the house I have to put my foot through the door 3 times before I can close it. Then I have the same problem getting into the car – 3 times, sometimes more if I feel the anxiety. I’ll park in the car park then I’m O.K. until I get to the shopping centre near where I live. There’s a bridge that I can’t walk under, so I have to run fast and look at the pavement as I pass it. If I know the point that I’ve walked under it I have to do it again. This can be a bit embarassing when there are other people around – they probably think I’m a wacko, lol. I have also been developing this very strange new obsession recently where I find it difficult to turn corners without cringing. I avoid turning corners whereever possible. I will always park my car as close to my destination as possible so that I don’t have to do this. It’s making it difficult to live a normal life. It evolves from not wanting to walk on the pavement cracks in the street. Then I went to not wanting to walk on the grass and back onto the pavement. I know this sounds crazy and probably unbelieveable but this is exactly how my daily life goes every sinlge day! When I’m at home I can relax for a bit, until I want to do something. For example I have to put my foot through the door three times, just as I do with the front door and the car door. When I am safely in my room I can relax, maybe play a CD to unwind. When I take the disc out of the case I have to handle it by the edges I can’t stant to get any fingerprints on the face of it. Then things get very bizarre. I cringe at the end of every track where the songs are separated. I always pray fro them to be over. Sometimes I have to play the “silent bit” between the tracks several times until I’m satified that everything’s O.K. The most I’ve ever done this is 27 times and it exausted me! Then when the disc is finished it has to be put back into the case as quickly as possible, otherwise I have to puit it back in teh player again and play it for a few seconds. Again, i do this until I am satisfied. Before bed I have to put the toothpaste on my tooth brush for the following day. I don’t know why, but I can’t put toothpaste on in the morning, only at night. The I go to bed and pray, hoping that this will be over one day. It’s torture living with OCD.
October 28th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Alice — My heart breaks to read this. I cannot say that I understand what it’s like to have bonafide OCD, and I don’t mean to make fun here in this post. I really think it’s a simple matter of degree. We all have our idiosyncrasies and it sounds like you have more than your fair share. You have obviously learned to adjust to it, although that doesn’t make it any less painful to live with. My hope for you is that you can get some help from professionals who know what tactics help sufferers the best. I with you peace and calmness in your life. Thanks for feeling comfortable enough to share with us. All the best to you.
October 28th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Heh… what’s sick is I make fun of OCD constantly, especially my own. People don’t think OCD’s really that big of a deal, and most people don’t have very extreme cases of it, but… though I laugh at my OCD, I never laugh at others’, because, I know it’s painful. When I have an OCD spell in front of others, they laugh the entire time and I often make a joke about it while I’m fixing whatever’s wrong. I do this so they don’t realize how much control the disease actually has over me. The last thing I want is for my friends to pity me and think me a weakling who belongs in a mental hospital.
I overheard my parents the other day… and they think it’s not as bad as last year or the years before and I’m outgrowing it. It was hard to listen to because I know they’re so wrong. It’s not going away, I’m just getting better at hiding it. I despise talking about my feelings, so I find no reason at all to let my parents know that I think it’s getting worse.
I’ve been trying to put lotion on my hands to keep them from being so dry, but after a few seconds of applying it, my hands start to burn. It’s terrible, because my knuckles hurt from being so dry (they’ve started bleeding and are always white and flaky), but it’s like they’re on fire when I put lotion on them. I cry from the pain.
There are days when my OCD decides to be very cruel to my mind and it whittles my self esteem (this usually happens within moments) until I’m left with this sickening feeling of loneliness. I am terrified of being forgotten, and even though I know I’m never really alone, there’s always someone I can talk to, when I’m going through an episode like this, I want to just break down and cry because I’m so afraid. I am so scared of my mind sometimes. I feel like I’m alone because I can’t even turn to myself. I usually trust myself, but when I get in these little funks, the happy veil hiding the dark recesses of my mind parts, and I feel like I’ve betrayed myself.
December 12th, 2008 at 1:03 am
i can’t leave the house without my watch, my silicone bracelet and my ipod. If by chance i forget to bring any of it with me, i’ll have to go back home even if i’m going to be late…
or else i’ll be cranky the whole day…
hehe…
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