The Next Time You Blow Your Nose
Bizarre June 9th, 2008My dear niece, Amy * recently had surgery to remove a growth on her pituitary gland. The pituitary gland is located at the base of the brain, which I thought was at the back of the head, just above the neck.
That’s not where it is. Here’s where it is:
Actual Amy brain, with growth
You might wonder how a surgeon reaches this part of the brain. Well, they don’t saw your skull open and pull unwelcome pieces out through a hole. They actually take a trip through your nose and do all the work from the front of your face.
The surgeon was very blunt about how she’d feel after surgery: “You’ll feel like someone punched you very, very hard.”
Amy’s surgery went extremely well and she’s home resting for three weeks, complete with colorful bruises from the medically-sanctioned beating she got. Along with some lovely pharmaceuticals, she was given a list of restrictions she must adhere to for a whole month.
The one restriction driving her batshit is that she cannot blow her nose, not even once. FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH.
Think about it.
I blew my nose twenty times since she had her surgery and every time I stopped to think “What if I couldn’t do that just now?” It pains me to think that no matter how desperately she needs to blow, she can only let it drain.
I try my blessed best not to blow my nose in solidarity to her predicament, but I just cannot NOT blow my nose. She’s not handling the restriction well at all, as you might imagine. She continues to wear gauze taped above her lip as a reminder that she can’t touch her nose, blow her nose, or God forbid, pick it.
Here’s my plea: Would you guys please think of Amy the next time you blow your honker? Say a little prayer next time you use a tissue? The girl needs some help getting through the next three weeks.
We’re just counting down the days for her. On Thursday, June 26th, that noise you hear will be Amy letting loose for a month’s worth of plugged up nostrils. After that, we’ll all breathe a little easier.
Thanks, guys.
* This post was pre-approved by Amy’s brain.
Stumble it!
June 11th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Oh, how miserable! I can’t imagine. I do wish her a speedy recovery.
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June 11th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Swubird — Not blowing your nose is one thing. Not scratching an itch is another. She’s got ’em both going on. At least she can sneeze freely. Happy to make your day!
Jaffer — Now that I think about it, not so sure it’s a good idea. I’ve been known to drop & break a jar or two. Not the kind of thing I’d like to clean up, you know?
BabaBooey — Just think, you’d be helping all the people scared to use a Neti pot. I haven’t posted a tutorial on anything in a long time. We’re due.
Crazy Working Mom — Thanks for the sympathy. Amy’s doing just fine. And she’s got a few more days behind her. Looking forward to the day of The Big Nose Blow!
June 11th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Something so everyday we take it for granted. If I need to blow my nose. I will think of your niece.
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June 12th, 2008 at 12:21 am
Yikes. They told me the same things after I had my tonsillectomy. No nose-blowing, sneezing or coughing.
No coughing? That’s crazy talk. I had two ginormous scabs on the back of my throat. Good thing Saint Vicodin took the edge off.
Here’s to a speedy recovery!
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June 12th, 2008 at 4:07 am
Wow! That’s horrible. I’m glad the surgery went okay, but the no nose blowing thing must be maddening. Here’s hoping to a speedy recovery, and I will think of her every time I blow my nose…no way I couldn’t after reading this. In fact, I will probably think about her every time I blow my nose for the rest of my life, because that story will be hard to forget. 🙂
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June 12th, 2008 at 6:32 am
When my husband had sinus surgery i heard the repeated warnings NOT to blow his nose. He found a million ways to redefine the phrase (how much force constitutes a nose blow). My heart was in my throat for the weeks after the surgery, and I slept with my keys and shoes next to the door. It does sound awful.
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June 12th, 2008 at 6:53 am
Just visiting your nice blog. Welcome to my blog.
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June 12th, 2008 at 10:08 am
It’s a temptation, once someone tells you you can’t do something it just makes you want to do it more. That would be hard! Hope your niece is doing well. Warm wishes 🙂
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June 12th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Oh dear Lord. That is so scary! I can’t even imagine not being able to clean out the honker. =) *shudder*
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June 12th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Curtis — Thanks. I’ve must said 20 prayers for her since I wrote this. I’m always blowing.
Alice — Those are ridiculous restrictions. Ever wish you could just remove your head, set it down somewhere, and then put it back on when it’s over?
Theresa — I’d be the worst patient. Like calling the surgeon over and over… Are you serious? Are you sure I can’t blow? Come on! Can I? Can I? Can I?
Stacey — Cripes. Don’t know how you both survived. I’m sure this is tough for Amy’s husband, too. But he’s a saint. He’ll keep her from blowing if he can help it.
MP3 — Welcome aboard! Hmmm, those are freaky frogs you’ve got over on your blog. I’d want one, but it’d have to be painted ceramic!
Sue — Absolutely! Like saying “Don’t think of rattle snakes.” Go ahead. Don’t think of rattle snakes.
castocreations — Welcome aboard! Yes, it is scary. Especially the part where she’s going to clean house when she’s able. She might need some assistance. p.s. I’m a sucker for pet blogs. I’ll be visiting yours again.
June 12th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Oh, poor baby! You’d think that blowing your nose isn’t a big deal, but when you can’t do it it’s misery! That post made me want to blow my nose. And I will absolutely think of Amy when I do.
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June 12th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
I have to blow my nose, just from reading that post…ick. A while back when I had a major surgery in my tummy area, I didn’t sneeze for 13 days. My SOP is to sneeze at least three times first thing in the morning. I was very conscious of this little phenom… honk!
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June 13th, 2008 at 6:18 am
Yikes! That poor girl. I’ve been getting over a sinus infection, and now allergy season is upon us, so I will definitely give her a thought every time I need to blow. Hope all goes well for her.
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June 13th, 2008 at 10:39 am
I blew my nose 20 times just while reading that. What a horrible predicament! Tell her I’ll be thinking of her everytime I blow my honker, and that I wish her well.
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June 13th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
How’s Amy doing, four days on?
Kathy, the setting on my Canon is called ‘Colour Accent’ but you could also look for ‘Colour Isolation’ or similar, I suppose.
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June 13th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Corrina — Blow away and be glad you can. I actually didn’t blow my nose once today in solidarity. Of course, I did five other times, but at least once, I didn’t. Amy would probably think “What? You want a medal?”
Carla — Wow, that’s even worse. A sneeze is almost involuntary. Have to really think hard NOT to. Yikes. Two weeks?
chris — I’m sorry for anyone who has allergies. I have my fair share of issues, but that’s not one of them, thankfully.
Momo Fali — Thanks, she’ll appreciate it. She might be stopping by later to check in here.
Babs — Amy’s doing OK. I just talked to her and kidded her about not coming back to comment on her progress. You can’t get your brain written about in The Junk Drawer and then leave everyone hanging. There are people here! I’ll let her chime in on her progress.
Thanks for the info on your camera and how you got those pictures. I loved that effect!
June 13th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Kathy, did you get my email? I just signed up.
Babs – beetle’s last blog post..Summertime blues
June 13th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Sorry, I’ve been off the grid, reading a book. I know, sacrilegious. But, you just can’t curl up with a PC the way you can with a book when you’re not feeling well.
Ya know, being in the hospital made me wonder just where they go with all that medical waste, my growth included. Ew.
OK. This is gross; get ready. The inside of my nose and I have managed a new truce. I’ve used my eating induced-nose running to my advantage. I eat and wait. This is technically not blowing, nor picking! Just wiping. Thank gawd I don’t have to go out in public. Again, my husband is a saint.
Thank you all for the well wishes. It’s always a party in here, you guys crack me up!
June 14th, 2008 at 7:31 am
Babs — Yes, and now you know I’m still confused!
Amy — I’m glad you’ve found a way to empty your nose without actually blowing. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Really sorry to hear how it is you’re eating right now. Amy, you’re getting there! Only 12 days to go!
June 16th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
my parents think i have a cheese tumor on the backof my head
June 16th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
brooke — I’ve always thought “cheese tumor” was the most disgusting ailment to have. We must never mix brain with food, and for that matter, never eat brain AS food (see rubber band post).
June 17th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
it was just two odd shaped bones on the back of my head
June 17th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
how many more days until she can blow her nose
June 18th, 2008 at 4:02 am
brooke — She can blow her nose on June 26th.
June 18th, 2008 at 7:34 am
8 more days Amy
June 19th, 2008 at 4:21 am
brooke — And now only 7!
June 19th, 2008 at 6:07 am
Hello Kathy, thanks for your entrecard drop at my blogsite. I found this post very hilarious. You wrote this post in a very entertaining way. I’ll pray for your niece’s quick recovery.
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June 20th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
tasha — Glad you dropped by, and thank you for the compliment! Amy doing well, thanks for your good wishes. She doesn’t have long to go now. Yea!
June 22nd, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Poor Amy! Hope she has a speedy, safe recovery! Nice blog, btw
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June 29th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
amy who really wants to blow her nose- you can blow now right and if u can how many times did u blow ur nose
July 1st, 2008 at 7:12 pm
La Pensive — Her recovery was amazing. She’s doing very well now and has been preparing for The Big Blow!
brooke — I talked to her Sunday and she hasn’t actually blown yet. There are some preparations. She’s taking it slowly.
August 21st, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Awesome post! Seriously you give some top quality high content which is awesome. Thanks for sharing with us and keep it up!
May 30th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Wow. That’s absolutely crazy. I cannot imagine not being able to blow my nose. I can’t even imagine what the cost for that surgery could be. I know I’m lucky because of companies that offer assistance.
July 17th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
I once went to a Buddhist meditation retreat, 11 days long, just as I was felled by a horrible cold of the most mucous-y, laringitis-y variety. Luckily, the loss of my voice was not a problem for long as this was a very hardcore course and complete Noble Silence was immediately invoked throughout the whole first 10 days. However, the running-faucet-like nose was definitely an issue, especially when you’re meditating for two hours at a time in the meditation hall where you must have the deepest respect and concentration; moving is discouraged, and leaving the hall is prohibited unless unavoidable. Of course, when you’re sitting there in the midst of a group of 40 or so utterly silent people, and in the presence of your two honourable teachers, you don’t want to be sniffling constantly.
It was an uphill battle, I assure you. However, I managed to cultivate discipline, patience, and “constant vigilence” (like a good buddhist), restraining myself from sniffling–or wiping my nose or, god forbid, having to leave the hall to have a real good nasal clearing session–juuuust long enough that the snot was starting to edge into plain sight (this was a particularly disgusting cold.)
Apparently, from what I’ve read, it’s actually healthier (though less socially acceptable) to let your nose run. Blowing it can actually reverse the flow of mucous back into your nasal cavities.
August 5th, 2009 at 4:54 am
Mel — Doesn’t sound like you had too many choices. Either let it run or get kicked out by buddhists. I would have shoved a tissue up both nostrils and mouth-breathed the whole last day!
August 30th, 2009 at 3:08 am
Wow, that’s terrible. I can’t possibly even begin to imagine what it’s like to not be allowed to blow my nose.
August 31st, 2009 at 2:52 pm
It’s amazing how much those little things really matter when you’re forced to go without! By now the month is over, but nonetheless best of luck!
November 8th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Ohh that sounds super painful! I recently had a scare with my pituitary gland due to some hormones being off in my blood work. Had an MRI and it came out clear though! That would be awful not to be able to blow your nose. I do it multiple times every day with chronic congestion =(
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May 7th, 2010 at 2:58 am
I’ve been nose surgery last year and was a big success.Thank you for writing the article.I hope everyone will guide
and i’m sorry for my bad english
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