They can’t say I didn’t try.

Back on October 1st, I made a resolution to stop saying "like" so much. I got tired of hearing myself say it in every other sentence. I vowed to drop a quarter in a jar every time I used it as a filler word. I dropped a lot of quarters, and then bills, as you can see.

I would have had the same degree of success if I’d vowed to, say, drive to work every day backwards at 120MPH wearing big clown shoes. It fast became an impossible task.

Thankfully, resolutions are meant to be broken. So I’m back to saying "like" and what a relief. LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE!!! Ahhhh, that feels better.

Throughout my little experiment, every time I felt a "like" coming on, I would stall, stutter, and stumble for something else to put in its place. Or I’d just skip the word entirely and replace it with an uncomfortably long pause. But that was unsatisfying, like when you feel a sneeze coming on, but can’t get it out.

I wanted and needed a "like" in there and it felt ridiculous to try not to do it. It got embarrassing, too, because people thought I was having a stroke when they saw that vacant look in my eyes while I searched for a word. She alright? What’s wrong with her?

After a few weeks of this crazy challenge, something really weird started to happen. I developed other speech and gesturing problems when I talked.

Out of nowhere, I began to say "literally" a lot, even when I knew it was stupidly inappropriate. As in, "Jason, I literally forgot my lunch today. Wanna go out for something?" It’s as though my brain was looking for any filler word, no matter how dumb it sounded.

Whenever "literally" didn’t cut it, out came the air quotes.

I’ve been accused of being animated with my hands when I talk excitedly about something, but I’ve never done the index and middle finger quotation marks thing to express sarcasm or anything else. This may be a subconscious gesture due to my obsession for finding pictures to submit to my favorite specialty blog. Or it could be that if I wasn’t letting myself speak the way I wanted, my hands were taking over by force.

So what did I learn from all this? I learned that the likes, the you knows, and the I means are essential in speech. I learned that it’s not a personal weakness to use them, unless you’re a teenage girl who uses "like" every third word. I mean it, ladies. You sound flighty and stupid and you’re giving me a headache. Bring it down a notch, will ya?

Would I try this again? No. Did anything good come out of this? Yes! I have just over $100 in my Like Jar, which I’ll put to good use for Christmas. It was an interesting savings plan, one I didn’t have to think about.

Saving without pain. I like when that happens.

Stumble it!