I love a good deal. One of the best is combining my grocery store club card with a pile of coupons to realize fairly significant savings. It gets better when my store runs a program where you can redeem points for an additional percentage off, depending on the amount accumulated from past purchases. Dave and I amassed about 1,200 points, so that would earn us 20% on top of our regular savings. We were looking at about 35% off the total bill.

Until we got to the register.

After filling two carts to the brim with a lot of things we don’t buy until this gigantic points program runs, we gleefully queue up to the register. I announce to the cashier with great fanfare that we’d like to redeem our points.

She begins scanning our items and says “Do you want include these points for the bakeware?”

“Bakeware?”

“Did you pick out all your bakeware already?”

“Bakeware?”

Dave chimes in, “Bakeware?”

“Yes, certain pieces are worth certain points and you turn them in against your total points.”

Again, Dave. “Bakeware? I’m sorry. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The poor cashier must’ve thought we were on drugs or stupid or both, given our stoney-faced stares and furrowed brows. “We usually give a percentage off discount for the points program, but this time you get bakeware instead of a percent off.”

We didn’t want bakeware. We don’t cook. We microwave, we use the stovetop, but we definitely don’t cook. Besides, there’s nowhere to store bakeware since our kitchen cabinets are too small. I’m not happy about this little turn of events. Dave just wanted to get scanned and get out, but I wasn’t about to leave empty-handed.

I look at her all hangdog and ask “Where is this bakeware?” She points to a display nearby and off I go to pick out bakeware I have no intention of using. EVER. When I get to the display there’s another woman scoping out what to get and I chat it up with her how this bakeware thing is such a scam. She agrees, “Yeah, they offer a percent off every other time and then we get bakeware now. No warning. Just bakeware.”

I choose three items whose point value gets me near the 1,200 mark. I pick them out based on who I think I’ll be giving them to right after I get them home. I think my sisters will like what I selected. They use their ovens.

After packing up all our things, I look at the so-so discount for this trip. I’m severely peeved because it could have been a great one. Today’s discount amounted to only 12%. Had the store run its usual program, it would have been 32%.

Yes, I know we’ll use everything we bought, but it would have been nice for the store to have posted a notice somewhere that this points redeeming period would not get us any kind of savings. Bakeware is not a deal unless you cook, and even then it’s not much to write home about. Bastards.

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