10 More Things That Annoy Me
Fun, Stuff I hate October 8th, 2007Last month I wrote about 10 Things That Annoy Me. If you follow my blog, you know there can’t be only ten things. There can’t be only a hundred, really. So keep checking back for more lists.
Let’s get on with the show!
10 More Things That Annoy Me:
1. People who get on their cell phones as soon as they put their cars into gear. What? You couldn’t have had that conversation before you pulled out onto the open road where you will pay zero attention to other drivers while you order take-out?
2. My nose runs when I eat. Doesn’t matter whether I’m eating hot or cold food. I just finished a snack bag of Doritos and had to blow my nose. A co-worker saw me do it and asked if I had a cold. I lied and said "Yes, but I’m fine." That’s better than explaining the issue with my nose. No one understands. It doesn’t have a cool medical name. It garners no sympathy. It just runs.
3. Giada De Laurentis, host of Everyday Italian on the Food Network. She speaks perfect English without the slightest trace of an Italian accent. But when she says any word of Italian origin, suddenly she’s Sophia Loren. "Now we’ll add our ree-GAUGH-ta cheese and Rrrr-egiano parmi-GEE-ano…." Oh my God. I just want to punch her.
4. Two of my cats do not understand how to use their water dish. One won’t drink water unless it’s coming right out of the faucet. And the other picks up his food with his claws, while hovering over the bowl. He lets the morsels drop into the water and then promptly gets P.O.’d that there are chunks of food floating around in it. So he tips the bowl over and drinks off the floor. Guess which cat.
5. I’m physically unable to burp. The closest I get is a gurgle, which sounds like a sink backing up. It’s not only annoying, it’s painful. Please do NOT suggest I guzzle a carbonated beverage. No burp will come of that. It only backs up the pipes more.
6. Kazoos, bugles and bagpipes. They’re not instruments. They’re noise-makers. I used to work in the same office with someone who played a CD of nothing but bagpipe "tunes," if you can believe someone made a CD of only bagpipe music. I was tortured slowly for a few months, for no good reason.
7. My answering machine. It takes the stupid lady forever to GET TO THE FREAKING MESSAGE ALREADY! Have a listen.
8. Toyota, for not understanding that a sun visor has to be big enough to, you know, BLOCK THE SUN. Both Toyatas Dave’s owned never had long enough visors, so when I’m riding in the car, I have try to keep really straight and tall, squint, and wear sunglasses.
9. Starbucks, for making it impossible to order a cup of coffee without a PhD. Coffee used to be so simple. A friend of mine who has a PhD helped me out by writing this on a store business card. The front reads: "Please help this woman." On the back: "Mocha. Extra shot. Dark choc. Whip." Works for me.
10. Saran wrap. Tear off a sheet of cling wrap, and it does exactly that. It clings to itself and then you have to ball it up, throw it out and try again. I would never use this stuff if not for the need to see which of my leftovers is turning into penicillin in the refrigerator. What someone needs to invent is clear tin foil! Anyone? Anyone?
I’m throwing in a bonus 11th annoyance — this one from my husband, who wants to get in on The Annoying List action. He’s not a very annoyed person by nature, which is why we’re a perfect match. If we were both as annoyed as I am, we couldn’t live in the same house. But apparently some things do bother the man.
Here’s what annoys Dave: People who put slashes through 7’s and 0’s. His rant goes thusly: "And it’s always the ones who have perfect penmanship!!! It’s the slobs who need it, but they never do it, and the ones who do are probably the same people who write xx’s in place of zeros on their checks. You’re supposed to write 00/100!!!! Numbers go on checks! An ‘x’ is not a zero you half-wit!
Oh-kaaaaay.
Stumble it!
October 8th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
Hahahaha! I’ll have to agree with some of these (obviously not the ones that are personal, like the non-burping or nose-running…)
Can’t stand Giada for the only reason she is a stick person who cooks fatty Italian food… give me a break!
I have a cat who insists on drinking from the tap as well… and LOL at your cat who picks up food with a claw. Hilarious!
I must admit, tho, I LOVE Starbucks… and I do put the slash thru my 7s and 0s…
Can we still be friends? 😉
October 8th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Yeah, Giada is one of those stick people. Now Paula Dean, she’s a real person who eats the food she makes and doesn’t apologize for it.
You’re probably OK with the Starbucks thing because you can REMEMBER what to order! I never remember it, hence the card. Sometimes I like to walk in and ask for a coffee regular, just to see the stare I get in return.
Yes, we can still be friends. I, too, put slashes in my zeros. Not my 7’s, because I don’t see the need for that.
For my black cat, the faucet-drinker, I wanted to buy one of those perpetual fountain water dishes, but I’m afraid my other idiot cat will chew on the wires. There are wires on those things, right? Or are they battery-operated? Does anyone know how they work?
October 8th, 2007 at 11:50 pm
I’m with you on #1. I saw that at college all the time. Student would get in car, put a phone to ear, and then gun it in reverse. My “carry and baseball bat with me at all times and start swinging whenever someone did this” tactic was controversial, but I believe I was doing karma’s work.
I have a solution to #3. Just keep Gia on mute. That’s what I do. She’s dreamy.
Saran wrap is the most pointless invention ever. Whoever invented it is laughing at us from Hades.
ryc: What makes me cry? Hmmm…uthe Atlanta Braves.
October 8th, 2007 at 11:58 pm
HA! I’m with ya’ on most of these… and – God, I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this, seeing as how I hate offering household tips… but Stretch-Tite (yellow box with blue letters) is AWESOME plastic wrap that actually works and doesn’t cling to itself coming out of the box. Ugh. Now I have to shower. Housekeeping tips – yeesh!
October 9th, 2007 at 12:01 am
@ Kev — I like how you think. You scare me a little, but I like how you think.
Giada is not dreamy. Like Maureen says “She’s a stick.” Sticks are not dreamy. Sticks need a sandwich.
p.s. Thanks for linking to me in your kryptonite article. The only Superman skill I have is that I can mentally cancel meetings I don’t want to attend. My records stands at something like 6-2. Apparently I have not perfected it yet. Have some kinks to work out.
October 9th, 2007 at 12:03 am
@ MadMad — So what does one have to pay for this magic wrap you speak of? My sister buys the kind that has a little “slicer” thing where the metal teeth would be on a normal box. But I find that still doesn’t work. The wrap just wants to keep clinging to itself! Or maybe I’m so dumb I can’t figure it out. I’m goin’ with that.
October 9th, 2007 at 1:42 am
OK, you got me on the band waggon!So here are my ten.
1.Hey, Dad, have you got any money.
2.The last towel is wet.
3.Come back tomorrow we’ll have it then.
4.Loud cellphone users on trains.
5.Getting kicked off the family computer.
6.Someone asks for and then takes
your last cigarette.
7.No toilet paper.
8.The family car with no petrol.
9.The rubbish bin is full.
10.No batteries in the camera.
Regards
Peter McCartney
Sydney Australia
October 9th, 2007 at 9:46 am
@ Peter — And I was starting to think I had too many annoyances! Look how easy it is to come up with a whole list.
Your Annoyance Club membership pin is in the mail 🙂
October 9th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
What annoys me is people who flick their cigarette butt out their car window, and it flies in mine and lands on my sleeping baby in the back seat. I believe I should be allowed to hunt the person down and mash their butt into their eye as hard as I can. I’m glad I got that off my chest. I’m really not a violent person, but I think the judge would understand, if she were a woman!
October 9th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
@ A.D. — you’d have everyone’s support in a court of law. That’s simply inexcusable. You can be violent when it’s warranted. After all, Kev carries a bat.
October 9th, 2007 at 9:55 pm
Regarding Saran Wrap:
The same thing used to bug me until I found the economy size roll at Sam’s Club — comes with a little razor blade gadget that slides over the film where you need it cut. Works great! No more fighting with the roll — and it actually clings to the object / bowl / dish that you’re applying it to. Can’t remember the brand name, but look for it at Sam’s in the paper goods section.
October 9th, 2007 at 9:56 pm
@ Anon, 5:55, I don’t have a Sam’s club card. And I don’t think they let you buy anything without a card. But I do think my sister has one, so I’ll have to ask her to pick me up one. Thanks for the tip, and for dropping by!
October 9th, 2007 at 10:52 pm
Our beloved Simone used to only drink out of the leaky bathroom faucet. When we finally got it fixed (we didn’t realize it was her only source of water), she started knocking her water dish over. We got the hint and got one of those kitty fountains. Best $60 we ever spent! (Not only did she drink from it; she’d often just sit next to it in a Zen-like pose).
October 9th, 2007 at 11:57 pm
@ J.D. — I think we really need to get a fountain. We worry when we go on an extended trip somewhere, that Shadow won’t know how to use the bowl at all. I can’t expect the people I have coming to the house to feed them to also stand there at the sink while she gets her H2O fix from the faucet. Gotta look into that.
June 19th, 2008 at 9:11 am
my annsering machine does the same thing
November 23rd, 2009 at 8:53 am
I re-read this just to catch the Giada reference. This is one of my pet peeves. Americans with no accent? SPEAK AMERICAN! You only look like a fool when you try anything else.
.-= JD at I Do Things´s last blog ..I Am Suing so you don’t have to =-.