God Bless the Trash Haulers
Stuff I don't hate July 21st, 2008
WARNING: This post is disgusting. Come back later if you are repulsed by vomiting. I’m sure those in the medical profession (or the parents among you) have seen it all, so you’re probably safe.
Yesterday I did something I’ve never done before. I threw up from smelling garbage. Yeah, fun.
I took a full kitchen trash bag to the garage and when I lifted the lid to the big can, I gagged. I thought “Oh, it’s just a dry heave. No problem.”
Then the beast grabbed me by the throat and screamed “There’s steaming cat poo in this here can! Run! Run!”
I had to cover my mouth as I ran to the kitchen sink, where I let loose. Thrice. My husband thought maybe it was one of the cats coughing up a hair ball. No, dear, that was me.
I’m guessing we had a couple bags of garbage stewing in our hundred degree garage for a few days and it hadn’t escaped until just then.
All I can say is God bless the trash haulers of the world. Let us all thank them for the foul and disgusting job they do. Imagine if no one took our garbage away and it was left to rot in the baking sun. Seriously, think about it.
In recognition of the guys who pick up my trash, I have a little prayer for you.
Dear God,
Please bless and keep the trash haulers.
They do work no sane person would do.
They lug and throw and smell the funk
Whether it’s food or diapers with poo.
They ride on the truck in the wake of the smell.
They can’t get away for a minute.
If not for them taking the crap that I lay
We’d be up to our eye sockets in it.
Amen
Stumble it!
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Joe — I knew you were the sensitive type. I knew it!
kpasa — Ick! I feel sorry for the gentleman, but it’s good he probably didn’t know what transpired. I have never been pregnant, so I don’t know what particular smells would do me in. But infections of the mouth. Yeah, it’s a good bet. I put my Odiogo back up for a test run. Check it out! Thank you again for helping me discover it.
CrAzY Working Mom — Today marked the first day of “Let Husband Deal With It.” I’m not going back out there to empty garbage until November.
KFJ — Ah, so maybe they’re raking it in and we just don’t know it! I do wonder what the average salary for a sanitation worker is. Anyone know?
Beamer — Glad you missed it. Of course, I’ll always put up a big warning for ya whenever the topic turns to poo, vomit or some other foul thing. I’ll try to talk about cotton candy and kittens next time, OK?
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Great site. You are awesome!
Nellie’s last blog post..Do we need forgiveness more then others?
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Oh I know that smell well! Here in Florida I keep my cans outside because of our cats and a son who is not quite toilet trained yet. Between the two, I’m sure I would pass out if they were in my garage!
Nodins Nest’s last blog post..Have Laptop, Will Travel!
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Man, cat poo will do it. I’ve never actually hurled, but I’ve been close.
diesel’s last blog post..Last Chance!
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:47 am
OMG…how timely! As I type, the happens to be a dead possum that smells like…well, a DEAD POSSUM in our trash can awaiting the trashman’s arrival tomorrow morning! Our dog killed it a couple of nights ago…& my husband just put it in the trashcan. All I can say is: God Bless Trashmen EVERYWHERE!
Olga, the Traveling Bra (Blog-Mistress)’s last blog post..BRA-NAPPED!!!
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:24 am
Nellie — Thanks. Do come back!
Nodins Nest — Greetings! I’ve always loved your avatar. Smart move on the garbage. You’re in one of those “soupy” states. No one around here keeps their bins outside, but in the hotter months, we should consider it.
diesel — The right concoction will do it. I must have also had rotting food in there. Bon apetite!
Olga, the Traveling Bra (Blog-Mistress) — You know, we haven’t had the misfortune YET of having to dispose of a dead animal. How much you wanna bet that won’t be my job? Pray for your garbage man. They know not what they take.
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:05 am
My God Kathy, I thought I was the only person getting OUT of BED at 4 AM! My wife is not a MORNING PERSON, and has forbidden me to speak to her when I leave for work, other than “I LOVE YOU” and a goodbye kiss. I see your reply at 4:24, and I think, “She’s as nuts as I am!”
Chris’s last blog post..If Benet were alive today….
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:06 am
Jesus christ on a pogo stick, is anyone not writing about feline feces? Ewwwwwww….
Rickey Henderson’s last blog post..Farewell, Whiskers of Glory
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:10 am
I have that smell once a week after all the heat as set upon it. You are so right bless them all. Great blog with interesting post. Best Wishes
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:44 am
We have an elderly cat and she has a problem with um, er ‘kling-ons’. Last night she was carrying one around the size of Cleveland and the flies were hovering around her teeny bum. My daughter kindly took up the task of removing the offending sink fest, but left just enough to not allow the cat to come into the house. After dinner we decided to tackle the cat together, her holding kitty and me cleaning. The stench was so horrible, I thought I was going to throw up on the cat, which would have served her right. Wanna cat?
Carla’s last blog post..Nearly Wordless Wednesday
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:15 am
Hi Carla
Those things on the cat’s butt (indiscreet…moi?) they are called ‘Dags’ in New Zealand’ although mostly related to sheeps posteriors. It’s one of my favorite words – it converts neatly to an adjective, ‘Daggy’.
ken armstrong’s last blog post..Letting Off Steam
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Ha, great prayer! Sorry about your vomit disaster… Trash and cat poo are quite stinky. I only want to vomit after cleaning out the fridge.
Some of those bowls of leftovers can be quite rank if you know what I mean…
DirtyLaundryDiva’s last blog post..BridezillaBlondie makes all women look bad.
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Our dog Eddie used to eat out of the litter box, too. We used to call it “Eddie’s Buffet”….
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Chris — We are a special breed. I once had to take my husband to the ER in the middle of the night for a swollen eyeball (don’t worry, I didn’t punch him), and then went to work the next day and gave a webcast performance of a lifetime. I’m awesome in that way.
Rickey Henderson — Tell me about it. Plus, I saw a post about pee elsewhere, and vomit on another. Monday was THE day for gross-out stuff. We now return to our regular programming.
Liz — We’re being blessed with storms and cooler temps today, so when we take the trash to the curb tonight, we won’t pass out. Assuming we leave the lids on!
Carla — No, I do not want a cat like that. I have a cat like that. She has never been “right” in that area. We sometimes have to clean her with a warm, wet towel, which is no fun. The stink will kill you. We’re considering diaperizing her.
ken armstrong — We call them dingleberries, but I like “dags,” too. Can I use it?
DirtyLaundryDiva — I’ll spare you my fridge nightmares. There was also the time I left a bowl of mac and cheese out in the open, left my apartment heat on too high, then left for a weekend trip. Came back to a bowl of hair.
mlm — My God.
July 24th, 2008 at 10:47 am
What a charming tribute to Trash Haulers. I hope some of them are taking time out of their busy hauling schedules to read your blog! I’m sure they would be grateful to know that you appreciate them. Perhaps you could get your community newspaper to publish this. What do you think?
I can only imagine what your garbage must have been like to make you not only gag, but chuck your stomach-contents!
Yuck!
(Being the sole maintenance person for 4 litter boxes, I know all about “steaming cat poo” and without my mask, rubber gloves and organic air freshener, I think I’d be tossing my cookies too!)
Kat
Poetikat’s last blog post..Last night and today
July 24th, 2008 at 11:16 am
It is a thankless job, isn’t it?
I always give my garbage guys a tip at the holidays. Just a special thanks for all the crap they take all year.
Kelly’s last blog post..L.O.L.
July 24th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Just to let you know the possum has departed…without incident…and the trashman never even blinked! Altho’ I think I did see him wrinkle up his nose a bit…
Olga, the Traveling Bra (Blog-Mistress)’s last blog post..I Have A 50-Foot Fembot & I’m NOT Afraid To Use It!
July 24th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
My son got to fillet a fish for the first time last week and he threw up doing it. Hopefully is better the next time – although that was not smell it was blood.
Jimmy Choo’s last blog post..Sunglass Hut
July 24th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Poetikat — Maybe I should write my blog URL real big on the trash bins? Or, I could just mail it to them with all the comments? Ours is a 3-cat household, which is PLENTY. I’m mostly in charge of cleaning them. I feel your pain.
Kelly — I’m going to tip them myself, too. It’ll probably freak them out. I bet they don’t get many tips.
Olga — That just goes to show they’ll take anything! Thank you for the update. I was wondering about the poor little guy.
Jimmy Choo — Oh, cripes. I thought you said he ate a fillet of fish. He filleted a fish! Ick. Ew. Gross. I bet that’s his first and last time doing it. Ugh.
July 24th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Great post! Three cheers for trash haulers–hip hip hooray! hip hip hooray! hip hip hooray! This is an extremely important job but definitely one that gets little thanks. I need to add this to my list of things I’m thankful for!
July 24th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
I’m wondering if there are legions of 5-8 year olds out there watching Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel right at this moment, who decide that they want to be garbage haulers or sewer cleaners when they grow up.
Maybe to us, working for a sanitation company isn’t very glamorous but maybe we are just old fuddy duddies (even if some of us are in our 20s and 30) and don’t recognize that it may just be “THE” choice of 5 year olds everywhere. Its this generations combination “firefighter/zoopkeeper/ballerina” job that many of us had chosen as our career path when we were 5 that day long ago.
They could be generation “P.U.”
TheSnackHound’s last blog post..Who The Heck is “Dinah?”
July 25th, 2008 at 4:40 am
Karen — I can think of a number of jobs like this where people tend to only notice the work if it stops. A shame.
TheSnackHound — OMG. I can’t watch Dirty Jobs. I try, but I can’t. I love your firefighter/zookeeper/ballerina description. It’s perfect! And, really, who has a job of any kind that’s truly glamorous? I know mine’s not. Thanks for dropping by!
July 25th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Oh, dear. Having 2 cats myself, I wholehearedly join you in a resounding “Amen”!
Now normally I would write you a haiku, but I’ve been thinking all day and I’m all done with that for now!
WillThink4Wine’s last blog post..Randy Pausch has given his last lecture
July 25th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Has this got anything to do with the out of date stuff in your fridge?
tfa’s last blog post..Obama Loses Election
July 25th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
WillThink4Wine — I would not object to a delayed haiku. Come back tomorrow and serve one up after you’re well-rested, will ya?
tfa — Ha! I don’t think we had any seriously rotting food in there. Probably a combination of uneaten cat food and cat “deposits.” Um. Can I blame it all on my cats? Yeah, let’s do that.
July 26th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
just checking
tfa’s last blog post..Dick Displays Bollocks To Public
November 20th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
that’s hilarious. I know the feeling though:)
Mike