My Sister Can Rant, Too
Fun, Stuff I hate September 9th, 2008The Junk Drawer celebrates its first-ever guest post. Actually, it’s a guest email I received last night from my sister, Ann of the Shampoo Bag.
I decided her rant had all the qualities I look for in a blog entry: customer service hell, a hatred for waiting in line, idiots and pizza. And so I give you …
Ann Buys a New Cell Phone
Gather round kittens, for I have a story for you…
What is with Verizon Wireless? Is this the worst environment in which to purchase a phone AND in which to interact with the buying public?!
First, step right up to the kiosk where there is no way of knowing who’s next. People are swarmed around the counters, all looking, standing, touching, but you have no way of knowing if a person is being helped or is waiting to be helped.
So, you belly up to the counter with rainbows and stars in your eyes hoping that a customer service rep will notice your pathetic-ness.
Next, you have someone’s attention and state your business. In my case, I wanted to purchase one cell phone and one Blackberry. I already knew which model I wanted so we launched right into the TRANSACTION. Fork over your license, birth certificate, cemetery plot deed, and a tube of blood.
During the data entry portion of the program, I begin looking for the bar stools and refreshments. Why must the customer be forced to stand for the entire transaction? I sent Regan for pizza and a soda while I waited for the rep to finish the sale.
In the middle of watching the reps SIT WHILE WORKING, I was informed that the only Blackberry in stock was pink. That was lovely, except I was buying it for Don.
So Jeanette mentions casually that the Circuit City Verizon kiosk in BETHLEHEM has a silver Blackberry that he may like instead. So, after having nourishment to continue making this purchase, we leave the mall and drive to another freakin’ store to pick up the other phone.
As you may know, the Verizon kiosk is located just inside the Circuit City store. I already see five people swarming the kiosk, where only one sales rep is visible.
Let the screaming begin.
At least this place has a sign in sheet. There is one couple deep in conversation with the only rep. He’s got one cell phone on his belt loop, and another in his hand. His wife keeps touching the model phones. OK, can you just pick the one you need. You can read all the features yourself, stop asking questions and buy one, dammit!
While I’m waiting, swear to God, a man is beside me WAITING IN LINE TO PAY HIS MONTHLY BILL!!!!!! He left his house, got in his car, drove to this store, signed a sheet, and waited in line to pay a freaking bill with cash. I’d hate to know what he does with the rest of his time.
So, after waiting 30 minutes, it’s my turn. Yes, my silver Blackberry is sitting on the counter waiting for me. The rep activates the number, answers my questions, and I am on my way home. Only 2 hours and 30 minutes out of my life that I’ll never get back.
ann of the cell phone bag
Blogger’s note: And now we wait for all the Verizon people to show up, arguing that their system doesn’t need improvement.
Stumble it!
September 10th, 2008 at 6:03 am
Me again. Thought I’d chime in and gloat that I don’t have any cell phone issues. I do have a cell phone, but it’s for work and only work. Generally, I only use it for emailing, which is super convenient. Someone pays the bill and I don’t have to worry about plans, waiting in line or dealing with the general public.
If I didn’t need one for work, would I have one? Probably not. Since I don’t have kids, there’s almost no need. If I have an emergency, I’ll just start crying and twelve people around me who DO have cell phones can make a call for me.
Ann, thank you again for guest posting. Well done and let me know when you want to do it again. Or, let me know if you want to start your own blog. You have more than what it takes!
September 10th, 2008 at 8:00 am
I have verizon. Their CS sucks!
Lauren’s last blog post..U.S. artist “made to dance” by Israeli security
September 10th, 2008 at 9:07 am
I find it entertaining that your sister has a similar sense of humor to you. I am imagining you two together… that has to be pretty darned amusing.
Jenn’s last blog post..Cabbagey Roadtrip Revelations
September 10th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Lauren – I really don’t have a problem with the service itself, it’s just the loooonnnngggg face to face encounter that seems to be necessary in order to purchase a phone from their kiosks. I’m sure you have your own horror stories that we can listen to by the campfire tonight…
Jenn – Kathy and I have always been able to end each others sentences since the beginning. We like to think of ourselves as more twin-like than biological twins. Thanks for the compliment!
p.s. did I use ‘than’correctly in the above sentence? You know, since she blogged about grammar in her previous post.
Kath- Next time I need to vent I know who to call on my Verizon cell phone!
September 10th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Maybe the guy in line waiting to pay for his bill in cash, although I’m totally turned on by it right now, needs a freaking computer instead of a cell phone. His job is to annoy people that work…I bet you he’s retired, rich and doesn’t have [blank] else to do. Give him my phone number and tell him 3 is not a crowd.
Now I hate stuff like this: Fork over your license, birth certificate, cemetery plot deed, and a tube of blood. I’m paying YOU money, you give me YOUR license, birth certificate, cemetery plot deed, and a tube of blood, show me some ID.
I dislike dealing with real people, I much rather punch keys into a machine or speak one syllable words into, dare I say it…a phone. My tolerance level is really low, I feel bad. Oh well…thanks for the chuckle, I need ‘em all. I have to stop ranting like this, I’m sorry Kathy.
Natural’s last blog post..If My Life Were A Movie
September 10th, 2008 at 10:39 am
oh hello ann, this was your story.
Natural’s last blog post..If My Life Were A Movie
September 10th, 2008 at 10:49 am
I have an AWARD for you over at my blog!
http://ksborn.blogspot.com/
Moonshadow’s last blog post..Awards
September 10th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Natural – quite alright. I hear ya. I’m all about the tolerance level. I know what I can take, how much of it, and for how long. So, of course, buying cell phones in person was like Defcon 3. It was the max on all three levels.
However, I do pride myself on keeping it together until I returned home. The customer reps were all professional and kind, it’s just the process that I hate. It’s torture.
Oh yeah, one final item that I must have blanked my memory due to its excruciating minutia….THE REBATE FORMS!!!!! AARRRGGGHHH! It’s so archaic, why cant’ the price of the unit just be discounted at point of purchase. Why must the knife be driven further into my chest? You know how it goes…take all the packaging apart in order to cut the flap that contains the exact barcode necessary, THEN fill out the receipt tape with your contact info, and THEN stuff it all into an envelope using extra stamps because you don’t want it embarrassingly returned due to inadequate postage.
Sigh…sorry. Didn’t mean to rant once more….skulks away to forage for a highly refined sugary snack product….
September 10th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Kathy – help me, I can’t stop…must.. start… own.. blog………
September 10th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Sorry to have to say that the grass is not greener on the AT$T side. My experience getting new phones was nothing short of horrendous. I walked out.
One happy day, I noticed that Sam’s Club had a kiosk featuring three different phone companies for my buying pleasure!!! They were actually much less expensive than the AT$T store. I thought, “Well, heck if I have to remain, there are always SAMPLES with which to stave off starvation. AND, what luck, there was only one person ahead of me…..er….do you know how long it took him? I doubt if I have to say. However, once committed, with people behind me, I was not going to lose my place.
OOOOH! My turn was up. He chose me! YAY! My husband and I picked out phones and thought, “Easy deal…we already have AT$T and are just getting new phones.” HAHAHAHAH First I had to give him 17 forms of ID and my firstborn child. He called it into AT$T to get the phones turned on. Apparently, about 6 years ago, I was worried about identity theft and put a “call owner” APB out in case anyone would want to steal MY identity….fat chance. Well, they are the only ones who still see this, as I had it removed shortly thereafter, because after all, if I’m in the store, I can’t possibly be home for the call now, can I? The phone company still doesn’t get the catch-22 yet.
I could go on and on, but will say that my experience took almost two hours without travel and my SIM card didn’t work when I got home. Happy ending, me? NEVER. So, does anyone want my identity?
September 10th, 2008 at 11:56 am
This sounds very familiar to “Let’s Build 20 Checkout Lines and only hire 2 humans” or “Walgreen’s of the Dead.”
You can find both at “Are You F—ing Kidding Me?”
http://www.rufkm.net
Real Life. Real Shenanigans.
For your efforts you are getting a smiley face.
Loose Cannon’s last blog post..Heteros for Homos- RUFKM Vs. The Westboro Baptist Church
September 10th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Rita – tFoAotSB – Well, my friend, I believe that may top my story. All the elements of frustration are present, AND, you didn’t even walk away with phones. The only consolation prize was related to food. As always everything can be smoothed over with snacks.
September 10th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Now, when people ask me why I still have a Treo 600, I’ll just point them to this website! Thank you, come again. LOL!
Christine’s last blog post..Guest Posting On the Peanut Butter Blog
September 10th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Jenn — “..that has to be pretty darned amusing.” That is why our husbands wanted us to be selected for The Amazing Race reality show. Ann’s husband says we’d be eliminated after only the first leg, but it’d be hilarious watching us screw up everything and having fun doing it.
September 10th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
I quake in trepidation every two years when my cell phone agreement runs out and I have to venture into the malls and interact with such stupidity.
I feel your pain.
peace,
mike
livelife365
Mike Foster’s last blog post..Just Do It? Ten Tips to Get You Started
September 10th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
I just happen to sell VerizonWireless. I know that the process can be a pain… but if anyone needs a way to join the network without a big hassle, just give me an email. I can have a phone to you overnight in most cases! my email is christina.nelson at cellularsales dot com!!! I am so sorry for your sister’s nightmare! If you have any questions, just drop me a line! Christina
Christina’s last blog post..“Spill the Beans”
September 10th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
loose Cannon – I think I shop at the same stores! I know these people. another reason to stay home and shop online for everything. I can’t tolerate the general public anymore.
Christine – I never investigated the Treo. I hope I didn’t make a mistake with the Blackberry. Oh well, now I’m committed for two more years.
christina – Thank you for your input. Just want you to know that all the reps that I came into contact during my ordeal were completely helpful, kind, and completely professional. I tip my hat to them, for I could never work in the cellular phone retail market. I’ll be in the market for an upgrade in January. Can you just come to my house? I’ll make you lunch.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
oooooh, don’t forget to breathe! I find that repeating the mantra “grace” helps me LOTS during times like this.
xx
Anita
Daily Blissings’s last blog post..Tickled Pink by Tink
September 11th, 2008 at 5:04 am
Mike – Yeah, I’m good for another two years. That’s how long it’ll take for me to gird my loins for another purchase!
Daily – Is that the prayer where you ask God for the wisdom to hide the dead bodies? I love that mantra.
September 11th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
ann… how close to nc are you?…. Really I can do all over the phone… just let me know. Christina
Christina’s last blog post..“Spill the Beans”
September 11th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Christina – I live in eastern PA. Can it really be done over the phone? I could handle that.
September 12th, 2008 at 8:20 am
Okay – the kiosks in malls suck big-time. Tried them twice – walked away. Once in Circuit City there were 4 or 5 customers milling around the cell phone area, looking expectantly at the 5 – count ’em – 5 cell phone sales people who talking among themselves and goofing around. I got pissed and Loudly complained – everyone jumped to and other customers applauded. I got no problem being a loud-mouth NY’er.
T-Mobile has the best customer service, via phone or one of their stores – best pricing also BUT they don’t have the best coverage – hated switching to AT&T but got tired of having a cell phone I couldn’t use.
Must say tho, that was a lovely rant.
Broadway Matron’s last blog post..We remember, we still weep
September 13th, 2008 at 8:44 am
I went to the Wal Marts yesterday and was thoroughly surprised when the cashier was not only friendly, but also took the bags off the carousel and put them in my cart for me! I think this is a sign that the apocalypse is near.
Fancy’s last blog post..9/11/2001
September 13th, 2008 at 9:07 am
Kathy I ran across a picture of that WalMart down in the Gulf after Katrina and had to share it. Here’s the link:
http://flickr.com/photos/28651211@N02/2851476049/
September 13th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Broadway Matron – I applaud you!!! I would have loved to have witnessed that fantastic event. I’m too mousy to actually verbalize my complaints. That’s why I ran with this opportunity to rant without embarrassment.
Fancy – Did I hear that correctly? Friendly and she took the bags off the carousel for you?! Where is this marvelous Walmart located? I’ll drive to it if it’s within my time zone!
September 13th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Data Entry — I love that picture. Cripes. You can see right through it!
September 14th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Ann, don’t bother. They have probably already fired her by now for her work ethic.
Fancy’s last blog post..The importance of wearing a seat belt and locking your car door
September 14th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Absolutely….. I can do you upgrades…. and then you actually have a real person who is you rep… to help you anytime! If you closer I would drive it to you! lol
Christina
Christina’s last blog post..Forum Finder
September 14th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Christina – seriously, I’ll be in the market for an upgrade in January. I’d much rather handle the transaction in the comfort of my home than at a public arena. Just never knew it was possible to do it that way. Why is everything a secret? Stay tuned….
September 14th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Fancy – yeah, she probably moved on to a job where her customer service skills are more highly regarded. It’s hard to find gems who go the extra mile….
September 15th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Well this is my first post here so Hi everyone!! Anyway, I bought the pre-packaged, pre-paid, all-ready-to go-to-the-cashier at WalMart T-Mobile phone. Took me about 2 minutes. I tried the Verizon thing and Ann, you definitely have more patience than I.
September 15th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
kat – Welcome to my sister’s blog! Sorry you were subjected to my rant. She really has some hilarious stuff here in The Drawer. Sounds like you walked away with a good deal. When it’s time for my upgrade, I may contact Christina (see above) by phone. She seemed interested in my not having to be tortured again when buying cell phones in person. Drop by again soon….
September 16th, 2008 at 1:23 am
true. what’s with forcing people to remain standing anyway? businesses only want us there long enough to fork over our cash. they make us wait to pay, but then want us to skedaddle as soon as we’re done. not very pleasant. 🙁
kouji’s last blog post..captivating Capiz, a haiku poem
September 16th, 2008 at 7:47 am
kouji – You’re right. Stay long enough to spend the money, but get lost as soon as possible. Next cell phone purchase, I will be online or on the phone. Either way, I’ll be taking care of business from the comfort of my home. Thanks for stopping by…
September 18th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
I would have pulled all my hair out by the end of that! God bless her for still having hair. LOL! I can’t believe how horrible their customer service is at kiosks and whatnot. That’s insane to me. I have a little AT&T store just down the street from me and there’s always 3 reps there to help… In an orderly fashion.
I also cannot believe that there are people in this world who pay their cell phone bills in cash at kiosks and in stores. WHAT? Do they not own computers or stamps? AT&T even offers me a way to pay through my phone! LOL. I don’t even have to roll over in bed.
Corrina’s last blog post..Why Recycling Is Bad
September 19th, 2008 at 8:06 am
Corrina – I think what kept me from screaming my head off in public was the incredible sight of three people actually waiting in line to pay a bill using cash. I kept thinking…of all the things to do in a day…these people decided to drive to a store where there is no telling how long you will be STANDING IN LINE, to do something that can easily be done IN THE COMFORT OF YOUR HOME. Talk about wasting time. I cannot fathom a reason why someone would torture themselves in that way.
I’m envious of the fact that you have your own personal store and reps to meet your phone needs in an orderly fashion. I love orderly fashions.
November 18th, 2008 at 4:30 am
I can feel your pain, too. I know how hard it is to go to a store or kiosk with lots of customers waiting…only to find out there’s only one rep. I have no patience when it comes to queuing or waiting. I remember queuing for an hour in one of the stores in Florida only to find out that the product I’m looking for is out of stock…and they made me wait for an hour!
November 18th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
That would have killed me to have waited that long for NOTHING! They need to at least provide coffee and seats for those times when the wait exceeds the human limits of patience.
Thanks for stopping by. I hope it was worth your time!