The Lady on the Bench
Bizarre, Fun January 10th, 2009
I’ve been sitting here, what? Three years, three winters, and someone finally realizes I might be cold? I shouldn’t complain. At least someone thought to give me the scarf. It’s soft and beautiful, but a blanket and butt-warmer are really what I need.
I also can’t turn my head, my legs are killing me and my sciatica is really acting up. Beyond the pain, I’m extremely bored looking at these few squares in the pavement. For three days in the fall, I stared at a wet leaf that just wouldn’t blow away. Drove me insane.
Last winter when a guy cleared snow, he almost ripped my foot off with the plow. Easy, dude. I live here!
My nose runs a lot in this weather and I know you can’t really see my purse, but there are Kleenex in there that I’ve been dying to get at. They’re so close, yet so far.
Two nice ladies walked by me today and took my picture. I wish they would have sat down and talked to me because, twenty feet away, this is my permanent company. He’s been asking me out for a year. Why am I a creep magnet?
Hi! I’m a dork.
Blogger’s Note: Click here to see reader Richard Wall’s wonderful interactive panoramic view of this location.
Stumble it!
January 12th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Makes me glad I’m not a statue! There, I’ve said it …
Chris Wood’s last blog post..Anyone any ideas on this?
January 12th, 2009 at 8:43 am
I don’t know about that dork. The pleated front khakis and the loafers scare me.
A Bay Horse’s last blog post..This dressage test brought to you by…
January 12th, 2009 at 9:51 am
I consider myself to be rather creative, but I never could’ve come up with something as witty-ly creative as this. Bravo!
January 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Very well done. What a nice story to inanimate objects in the park. Very well done. Hey, it could have happened just like this too.
Have a terrific day. 🙂
Comedy Plus’s last blog post..The Jogger
January 12th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
So what is the dork reading? Is it supposed to be in his hand? And the red backpack, is that supposed to be there? He may be a dork but do you really think he’d had a RED backpack? He’s certainly not gay cause it doesn’t match his blue-ish outfit. And no wonder the girl only got a scarf. She looks like an ice queen to me.
Preston’s last blog post..Fake Cop, Real Story, Really Scary
January 12th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
She needs a Snuggie.
Shieldmaiden1196’s last blog post..Exhibiting my meme-ory
January 12th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Mom — I’m glad!
Lauren — Oh, you have no idea.
Chris Casey — Yes, it would. Of course, you may make some people think they’re on Candid Camera and they’ll keep walking. BTW, the lady does not want a card from dork. The lady would like to be moved to another campus.
Neil | Michael Bartul — And these are the nice ones. There’s some really peculiar stuff elsewhere that makes me laugh. I don’t think that’s the reaction some of the artists intended.
marvelgoose — Well, it’s a college campus. I’m thinking the kids are getting lit in their warm rooms.
Chris Wood — Can you imagine being frozen in one spot? Well, we’ll all be frozen solid at some point if you think about it. Let’s not think about it.
A Bay Horse — He’s lucky. At least he has the legs for pleats.
Jenny — Ah, thanks! You made my day.
Comedy Plus — I’m so glad you liked it!
Preston — The dork is reading “All Creatures Great and Small.” Yes, everything you see was designed that way by the artist. Not my cup of tea, but then, I’m no artist. I would love to see a stylish gay version of dork.
Shieldmaiden1196 — Yes!!! That’s exactly what she needs! A robe worn backwards for $19.95 + shipping and handling.
January 12th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
I like the “dork” dude he was either kinda hot or I haven’t had any in awhile. Wait, probably the latter
survivor’s last blog post..The perfect bathroom
January 12th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Way WAY too much dork, I mean man bashing around here! Creep magnet?!? Dork!?! He seems like a perfectly nice nerd to me. I think the lady on the bench is cold!!
January 13th, 2009 at 6:57 am
This post made me LOL. Thanks for the laugh with my morning coffee and the EC advert. 🙂
CrAzY Working Mom’s last blog post..Manic Monday – Sale
January 13th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
We know EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.
See, this is the start of something phenomenal. This blog-olougue is really a great idea for conflict resolution. We have been us minunderstood for so long now. We are happy to see your kind empathize with us!
For your empathy, we thank you.
Snowpeople’s last blog post..What NOT To Wear
January 13th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
i love the piece you wrote on this, very entertaining. Maybe she should ask the dork to come by sit with her so she wont be lonely,lol. To the guy dont act such a dork or else she will never go out with you!hahhahahahahah
melody’s last blog post..TOP DROPPERS
January 13th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
That woman is really pretty. I don’t know what your problem is but, like, quit making fun of her!
January 13th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
The dork looks way too happy. Does he possibly not realize he’s a dork? Hmmmm. Isn’t that always the way? The dorkiest people go about their dorky lives obliviously unaware of just how dorky they are.
So sad.
kev’s last blog post..Now That’s What I Call a Segue
January 13th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
That dork is my husband, you horrible…oh wait. Never mind. Just reminds me of him. *snort*
Hilarious catch.
Jonny’s Mommy’s last blog post..Becoming grandparent softens ‘tough guy’
January 13th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
survivor — There are so many ways I could take this, but we’ll just leave it be, K?
Ferd — There is a difference between a dork and a nerd. Nerds are brainiacs. Dorks are simply dorks. You want to be a nerd, if anything. We only mock dorks here, got it?
Crazy Working Mom — Glad you had a chuckle to start your day!
Snowpeople — I knew it! Statues and snowpeople have feelings, too, and a lot on their minds!
melody — Glad you liked it. I think the artist who made the woman should have also made a man for her. Then at least the woman would have had some protection from dork guy.
Father Muskrat — She is, but she could use some color. Any color. Even lipstick would help. Do you dare me to put some on her?
kev — Do dorks ever know they are dorks? God, now I’m feeling a little sorry for him. Alone in his dorkiness. Maybe it’s not sad. Maybe it’s a blessing that he doesn’t know.
Jonny’s Mommy — Unless your husband walks around reading a book and remotely unlocking his car, and wearing loafers, he’s safe. He doesn’t, right?
January 13th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
kathy, I think you could move those two statues into a pose that would make it look like Dork was offering her a ride, and she would turn him down.
I bet it would be a fun practical joke to have those two send notes to each other
Dork Sign: “Want to take a ride?’
Lady Sign, next Day: I’m waiting for the bus.”
Dork Sign, day after that: bus doesn’t run on weekends.”
I think that would be funny, don’t you?
Lady Sign, day after that: “I’ll wait”
Chris Casey’s last blog post..No Money…No Honey A Sunday Undie Story
January 14th, 2009 at 8:16 am
The dork looks cool:)
January 14th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
HAHA. These remind me of a CSI episode I saw recently where the killer left the bodies posed in public places. haha.
January 14th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Chris Casey — LOL. I would love to see a real-time conversation between them. Oh, what I’ve started!
Vennorex — Dorks can be cool, but it’s a fine line. I think the book ruined his look.
Sweepstakes Girl — Yes, someone else mentioned that episode, too. I’m not sure I remember it. I sort of drifted away from CSI because I couldn’t stomach the coroner’s office scenes. I’m not that into realism.
January 17th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
I’m sure if that statue could talk those would be accurate words. I don’t know why she thinks the other guy is a creep, though. He seems alright.
January 18th, 2009 at 6:54 am
Airsoft — There’s something creepy about him, I think, because he’s too realistic. I like my art slightly less literal 🙂
January 21st, 2009 at 12:40 pm
That’s the funniest and the cutest thing I’ve seen. I like your stories of them. I think that guy isn’t to bad. He seems very attentive and studious.
January 24th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Angie James — I’m sure the artist would be glad that you like the dork. You gave him much better treatment than I did!