My Funk is Genetic
Fun February 27th, 2009I drove to work yesterday funkin’ out to this song. I guarantee it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but it is the basis for something I learned about my father and so you should really just roll with it.
My dad is an awesome dancer. An awesome polka dancer, and so is my mom. When they take to the floor, they’re stunning and mesmerizing and everyone wants to be like them. But they never will because they all suck at it and that’s why polka has a stigma. You’ve only seen it done badly.
The above song, Hot in Here by Nelly, played at a family birthday party some years ago and everyone under 40 stood up and rushed the dance floor.
And then my 80-year-old dad followed us. Oh no. No, no, no. He does polka. He doesn’t do hip-hop. He shouldn’t do hip-hop.
Ask me how scared I was.
But Dad put us all to shame. We watched in utter awe of his moves. He had the rhythm down perfectly, gyrating arms and legs appropriately – no embarrassing spasms of any kind – every move in time with the beat.
We were blown away by the sight of my Dad funking out and doing it right. And that’s when I realized what I thought was my God-given funkaliciousness wasn’t divine at all. Clearly it was my Dad who gave me the gift.
Oh, yeah. I got the funk in me. And so it was, on the way to work with this song blasting, I started feelin’ it. Small movements at first, but then it overcame me.
I would car funk dance for the next six miles.
How is car funk dancing done, you ask?
Crank the music and follow along.
Sway left and right, shoulders moving forward and back. Tilt head two beats on the left, one on the right, one on the left, then two beats on the right. Rinse and repeat.
Bob your head forward and back at a 45 degree angle. Go ahead. Try it now.
Jut the chin forward in time with the bass, like the Mick Jagger chicken dance, but without the flapping wings part.
You may alter your shoulder activity after a while, such that you are “shrugging” them in tandem while bobbing the head about.
You may or may not involve the arms and hands as part of your funk driving. There is the safety issue, but that’s what knees are for. Drive with them if you must.
Bring your hands forward, clench them in fists, arms raised as if you were boxing. Now continue to bob the head, left and right shoulders alternating forward and back.
How do you look now? Are you feelin’ it?
Remember, funk driving rules state that you ignore other drivers staring at you. You must car dance uninhibited. Live a little.
And thus concludes today’s lesson. Dad, thank you for giving me the funk. And Nelly, thank you for starting my day off right, even though an hour later it turned to crap.
Have a funky weekend, peeps!
Stumble it!
March 2nd, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Chris Casey — Oh, yeah. Fun times in the car this morning. Sheet of ice down my whole street. I wasn’t feeling so funky then.
goldcoaster — Oh, you’re so nice! If you’re embarrassing your kids, you’re doing it right. That’s what you’re supposed to do. The worse you jam in your car, the better.
Data Entry Services — Ah! Who sang that? Love that song.
Karmin — It would be mine too. Plus, I’d try to do it right outside of school when I dropped them off to maximize the mortification in front of their friends.
Christina — Do it! Yeah, I wish we’d had video of him tearin’ up the dance floor. It was a sight!
Jenn Thorson — I’m an onion, for sure. Peel back one layer and there’s more!
meleah rebeccah — Nice! My parents have been polka dancing since before they were married, over 60 years ago. That’s what decades of practice will do for ya.
Jen at Mommay’s Mayhem — As well they should. I’m so glad you’re one of those mortifying moms. They make the best kind.
My Autism Insights — I do and I did!
Lisa — Then I believe you. Yep, the internet is gospel. Although I could see getting in an accident funking out in the car. The trick is to keep eyeballs focused, while letting the rest of the body do its thing.
SG — That should be on a bumper sticker.
Abbey R — Glad to oblige. Everyone needs a little funk.
staciesmadness — I am a bad self, she says with smoothy grooviness.
Staci — I wonder, too, but I can’t say that I care very much. The chances are really slim that I’ll even see these people again, unless one of my co-workers is following behind me on the way to work. Then I got some ‘splaining to do. Rock on, sista!
Grog — I promise I will if we have another occasion to burn up a dance floor.
Funk out y’all!
March 2nd, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Another Diet Coke spewed into my keyboard! How great that you got your funk from your dad. My dad couldn’t dance worth a damn and he passed that trait unto my brother and me. My brother got it much worse and dances like the Peanuts in the Christmas special. I just dance like Shaggy.
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March 2nd, 2009 at 9:01 pm
That’s the difference between you and me. My funkaliciousness IS divine.
Angry Max’s last blog post..Hog Duty in Iowa
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:09 am
I love reading this about your dad. That is just wonderful.
debbie’s last blog post..I’m one of those bad houseguests that doesn’t know when to leave
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:11 am
Hm, Hm! Funk and funky are two ENTIRELY different words! Sorry. Love your post – I can see you boppin’ along. But not in a funk. A funk is cowardice. This is a bad thing in any context. Funky is fun and rhythm and good stuff.
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March 3rd, 2009 at 11:59 am
Oh no. How about we have another party just for the adults? You won’t even like be music at my party. Or everyone can just get together sometime over the weekend an have a party just for dancing!?!?!?!?!? Of course I won’t be going to that party.
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:19 pm
My Dad also dances beautifully! I love watching Dad and MotherDear dance, although they rarely do anymore. Sadly, I got no funk whatsoever from either parent. Or musical abilities. They both play piano and my dad also plays guitar, banjo and drums. I got nuthin’.
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March 3rd, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Cool beans.
I do it all the time – funk driving. I mean, I am deaf but I do the funky driving thing, too. Sometimes, I pretend to sing; sometimes, I actually sing (though I’m prone to make words up as I go).
Subwoofers + amps + cars = good times, great vibrations!
:o)
Paotie
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March 3rd, 2009 at 1:56 pm
This one simply made me dance!
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March 4th, 2009 at 5:10 am
Jen — I love that one Peanuts character who just shuffles his feet front and back. Is it like him? OMG. Too funny.
Angry Max — Go forth and share the funk!
debbie — Yeah, and I’m happy to report that he didn’t make us all crawl under the table. Seeing how well he funked out was one of my life’s biggest surprises.
Jan from BetterSpines — They are indeed. The former being much more specific, the latter being whatever makes you move!
regan — Yeah, but don’t you want to be there to film it? Then you and your friends could have your own party wherein you mock us incessantly.
WillThink4Wine — I’m sorry you were not blessed with the funk or the music. I can’t play instruments either, though my husband can. You and I can still enjoy listening to it, so that’s something, eh?
Paotie — Awesome! I sometimes try and sing along, too, but even when I’m alone I’m embarrassed. I got nothin’.
Tnomeeralc Web Design Toys — And my job here is done.
March 4th, 2009 at 8:43 am
I’m late commenting on this because I was at my mom’s (read: away from any technology above the VCR)for the weekend, but a couple of things.
Your dad is clearly awesome. My dad, sadly, is master of the white man overbite and thumb-directed Elaine Benes dancing, which he did with enthusiasm at my wedding. I still love him for getting out there and doing that, though.
We once went to a wedding in Scranton where there was much polka. We both felt like there was something going on that we weren’t in on. I wandered away from our room at the banquet hall and marvelled at the names on the marquis for the other reception in progress, spelled out in little plastic letters on a black board,each fourteen inches long with a lot of ‘c’s and ‘z’s.
Also– I got stuck in traffic on the Blue Route last Friday for 45 minutes and car danced my butt off, because 1) I’d never see these people again and 2) I only had to do this as a fluke, but they had to do it EVERY DAY and I felt like giving them some joy. I also sang.
Shieldmaiden96’s last blog post..Febru-wha?
March 4th, 2009 at 9:03 am
You just reminded me also of my stepdad (now deceased) who used to car dance all the time….his special joy was humiliating me (an awkward teen) at traffic lights. This is why my mom and I cried when we watched John Candy ‘Do the Mess Around’ in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. It was dead-on exactly what he used to do.
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March 5th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Shieldmaiden96 — Welcome back to the land of the internet. Sweet fancy Moses! Your Dad’s that bad, eh? OK, about the polka. What you wandered upon, based on the names you described, was Polish polka. Therein lies the difference. My parents would swear up and down that polish polka is for sissies. They do the hard-core German stuff, which is much more beautiful to watch. And way to rock it out on the highway. You got the time, you might as well use it.
I want you to know that I had “Do the Mess Around” in my head the entire day after reading your comment. That is one of my many favorite scenes in that movie. For anyone who’s still reading this post and comments, here’s the clip. Way to car dance, John. RIP.
March 6th, 2009 at 1:20 am
I really love dancing.. but my dada don’t know how to dance and can’t teach us to dance either (sigh)
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March 7th, 2009 at 11:34 am
I got confused trying to read your funk directions. Trying to follow would end in a concussion, I just know it.
I am … UN to the FUNK. To the ANYTHING requiring coordinated movement…
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March 8th, 2009 at 7:12 am
darlyn — That’s OK. As long as you have it in you, you can share it with the world. Or at least your fellow commuters.
Wendy — But that’s the beauty part. If you do it in your car, you don’t have to care what it looks like. Funk it out, sista!
March 8th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Funk dancing in the car is one of my forms of exercise.
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March 10th, 2009 at 4:26 am
@ kathy
maybe I need it too. 😀
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March 14th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Beth — As well it should be. If you’re going to be sitting in a car doing nothing, you might as well move a little and get a groove on.
Darlyn — You do. We all do! Now go get funky!
March 17th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Ha!!
I didn’t know this about you, but funkalicious is one of the words I would have used to describe you if anyone asked!! ; )
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March 20th, 2009 at 5:14 am
Ferd — I’m thinking of having it put on my business cards.
June 10th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
If someone can dance to Polka, they can dance to any kinda music…all music is pretty similar when you break it down. You got the moves and the attitude and you are good to go!
November 14th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
hello Urban Trey, You are right. All you need is little rythem in your body to react to music,any one can become a good dancer. Hip Hop Dance is easy and simple to learn.
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March 9th, 2010 at 3:35 am
love the song. i did managed to download this from the intternet and used it in one of my dance classes the other day and everybody loved it thanks for the tip