Does This Car Make Me Look Fat?
Stupid things I do April 15th, 2009My husband Dave and I went car shopping today. He knew exactly what he wanted, picked it out, and we went for a test drive.
Even though it’s his car and I thought I couldn’t care less about it, he drew the following out of me when he was about to sign on the dotted line.
Dave: So you like the car, right?
Me: Yeah. Sorta.
Dave: Sorta?
Me: I don’t like the passenger seat.
Dave: How so?
Me: It makes me look fat.
Dave: Come again?
Me: It makes me look fat. I feel like a giant.
Dave: What in the hell are you talking about?
Me: The seat isn’t low enough and I feel like I’m sitting up too high. Higher than the driver’s seat.
Dave: The seats were adjusted the same.
Me: No they weren’t.
Dave (to the saleswoman): Do you believe this?
Saleswoman: Do you want me to bring another car around to test the seat?
Me: Um. Do you mind?
We wait a while until the exact same car in another color is driven around to the front of the dealership.
We walk outside and I get in the new and improved, make-me-look-skinnier car.
The seat is exactly the same as the other one, but somehow I don’t look as fat as I thought I looked before. I went back to the original car and, magically, it didn’t make me look fat.
So either my fat perception is off a little or, more likely, maybe I’m just insane.
Pity my husband. The guy’s got his hands full.
Stumble it!
April 16th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I find that throwing an unnecessary spoiler onto a car is a good way to detract from any additional car weight gain. I did that with my Jeep, really takes the attention away from the driver & passenger seats. Just look at the A-Team van. Spoiler. Do you think Mr. T looked fat? I didn’t think so.
Acorn King’s last blog post..SCIENTISTS AGREE. STRIPPERS GRAVITATE TOWARD VENUS.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
It is because of this that I love reading your blog! You make me feel “normal”. π
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April 17th, 2009 at 8:03 am
You just gotta laugh …!
Viveca
Viveca’s last blog post..Coming to my senses today. All day.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:48 am
I don’t know what to say, Kathy. That might just have been a first for that car salesman, though. π
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April 17th, 2009 at 10:30 am
I look fat in my car — and it has nothing to do with the car!!
Sherry at EX Marks the Spot’s last blog post..A Tire, Taxes and Tea
April 17th, 2009 at 10:35 am
I imagine these days the car salesmen will play along with any questions a person has, just to sell a car..
Beth’s last blog post..Wrigley amd Me: A Hit at the Phoenix Tea Party
April 17th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I know exactly what you mean. There are those vehicles out there that just reveal way too much of its passengers. Makes me shudder, am I fat and am I safe?
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April 17th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
ROFLMAO, that is hilarious! I had never heard of a vehicle making a person look fat, and then “trying it on” in a different color, and it doesn’t add on any pounds. Priceless my dear, priceless! Rest assured, I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing at the idea of me saying that in a car dealership! I can just see the look on the salespersons face, priceless π
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April 17th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Lee — I love the way you turned that around. I’m glad it gave you a chuckle.
Staci — Yeah. It will make me feel worse. I dove into a bag of Butterfinger easter eggs today and then had some No Pudge (it’s a lie) brownies. Tomorrow’s a new day. Gotta get back on the diet or I won’t fit in Dave’s car at all.
Jeff — We are. Now does that make you feel better or worse, knowing me?
Dear Husband Dave — Thank you for your first ever $0.02 left on my blog. I’m sorry no one noticed you chimed in. Now. About getting me a bigger seat….
Acorn King — I love everyone’s ideas about how to look skinnier in a car. Only I could come up with this problem.
Grandy — I do it as a service to you. You’re welcome.
Viveca — Or cry. Depending on whether you are the type who can fit in small seats.
Jenn Thorson — I know they must hear everything. It’s such a stressful process, and we told her so. And I’m sure she went right home and said to her other half “You won’t believe work today.”
Sherry at EX Marks the Spot — I was afraid you would say that. I rode in the back seat of an SUV today with two other people. Was I worried about looking fat compared to them? You bet.
Beth — No doubt about it. You should have seen what happened when I bought my car. I made them stand on their heads and cluck like a chicken to put me in the Honda I wanted.
MadMadMargo — Notice how cars have gotten so much smaller over the years? God, I remember my Dad’s Cadillac with the giant bench seats. I felt quite small in that. Of course, I was smaller at the time.
Skye — I guess I figured she hears all kinds of bizarre reasons for buying or not buying a certain car. I would love to hear all her stories. There’s gotta be someone worse than me out there, right?
April 17th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Fat is Fat ha ha ha and I do pity your Hubby… ha ha ha
April 17th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Kathy, that car makes you look curvalicious!
You inspired my most recent post.
; )
Ferd’s last blog post..Boyfriend School – The correct way to answer the question, βDoes this make my butt look big?β
April 18th, 2009 at 2:14 am
That is the most creative way to turn down a deal! You gave me an idea, just brilliant.
I read all through it wanting to see what the reaction of the salesperson was… so bad it’s not there but that was really amazing! I mean, you slap someone right under his/her nose without him/her noticing you did it! ^^
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April 19th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Lilyruth — He accepts all forms of pity. It helps him to know he has your sympathies.
Ferd — Curvalicious! Awesome. It sounds so desirable, doesn’t it? And your post? How I wish I could be proud of my bootie. Not there yet.
Webbielady — Ha! But it turns out the saleswoman reacted later. When my husband went to pick up his car yesterday, they jumped on the internet and she read this post and laughed her head off!
April 20th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Wow, that is priceless. The car made you look fat? I thought that only happened with jeans and horizontal stripes… Priceless.
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April 21st, 2009 at 12:26 pm
This is priceless. You’re husband should remember this for the next time he says something crazy, and you mock him. Mine would.
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April 21st, 2009 at 6:38 pm
PA Car Club Guy — Then you should see me in it when I wear jeans and horizontal stripes. It’s criminal.
LaTonya — I totally will!