I Conquered Another Fear!
Stuff I hate, Travel December 22nd, 2009Some of you might know that one of my biggest fears was to fly on a plane all by myself. I managed to show that fear who’s boss last summer when I attended a blogging conference in Chicago. Let me tell you, I felt like a superstar getting that behind me. Kathy, 1. Fear, 0.
Unfortunately, I’ve got other fears, one of them heights, which was triggered when I walked over a bridge with my husband Dave in the Bahamas circa 1995.
We walked along just fine, until Dave exclaimed “Look! The water is beautiful!” I turned my head to take in the view and promptly lost my mind. I had to run over to the other side of the bridge and take a cab ride back.
There were to be no more walks over bridges for me.
Until today.
For years I avoided joining some of my coworkers who would take walks over the bridge for exercise or to enjoy their lunch hours at a summer music festival held every year on the other side of it. I simply could not fathom walking across that bridge. No how, no way.
But it bugged me that I couldn’t — wouldn’t — do something so simple as to walk across that thing. I mean, it’s just a sidewalk, albeit a sidewalk high in the air.
So I made a decision today to join my coworker Heather for a walk around town and a stroll across The Bridge. I’m pleased to report that I made it without crying in hysterics or having a panic attack.
Were there challenges? Yes. Did I sweat like a pig, even though it was only 20 degrees out? Yes. Oink.
If I looked to the left, there was fear of being so high up. Sure, there’s a railing there, but still. It’s the only thing between me and DYING.
If I looked to the right, I felt the closeness and rush of cars whizzing by and worried that I’d somehow fall over the guardrail, get hit by a car and DIE.
I had two choices: either look straight down at the sidewalk or look way, way off to the distance so that I didn’t have either death threat in my peripheral vision. I alternated between both methods until I reached the other side.
And thanks to my trusty co-pilot Heather, who gave me words of encouragement the whole time and notified me when we were and weren’t over water, it was almost a piece of cake.
If any of you have fears that keep you from enjoying life to its fullest, there’s pretty much only one way around it. You have to stare down that fear and kick its ass to the curb.
I know it sounds easier said than done, but I’m here to tell you that I thought I might die today and I didn’t!
Not dying is awesome, but living with one less fear feels even awesomer.
Stumble it!
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Go, Kathy, Go!
If you slipped, I bet Windy would come to your rescue. You could hang on to her handle and be spirited away like the big flying thing from “The Neverending Story.”
.-= Chris@TheSnackHound´s last blog ..Beyond Juice’s Peppermint Mocha Thingie: Lethal =-.
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Good for you!
.-= MA Fat Woman´s last blog ..Caption This Winner =-.
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Good for you! I’m afraid of the Christmas tree falling over again and of getting bad grades. Did I mention that today was officially the end of fall term? Woo hoo!
.-= Kim´s last blog ..The Case of the Missing Present =-.
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Congrats Cathy,
The feeling of triumph is overwhelming, right? The worst enemy is ourselves, sometimes because of our fear we dare not venture into things. But once we conquer that fear, we become masters of our own universe. Thanks for sharing this enlightening post. Happy Holidays.
.-= Jena Isle´s last blog ..Winners of the Virtual Book Tour for A Puppy, Not a Guppy! =-.
December 24th, 2009 at 7:13 am
Karen — I had the same problem driving to north PA. The bridges only bothered me because they spanned very deep dropoffs and I felt very vulnerable. Only way I got through it was to stare straight ahead at the road and talk myself through it.
Data Entry Lady — That’s a brilliant I idea. I suggest a blindfold for when you’re in a car and can’t get on the floor.
Tarheel Rambler — I don’t blame you for the rocks thing. And what are you doing climbing rock walls anyway? And you’re right about our chances of dying. 40,000 people die in car crashes every year in the U.S. Those are scary odds. A bridge fall might kill me, but the odds are better I’ll get wiped out by a car. Nice thought, huh?
BabaBooey — And I’m so glad you were there to witness history! I do have a problem with high winds. I had a terrible time of things at the top of the Empire State Building because of the wind. I was actually able to look over the edge at the city, but when the winds kicked up, I ran back to the inner wall and stuck to it.
Daisy — Yes, I do have that feeling. And it runs so counter to what I want to do, which of course is NOT to fall! I hate that our brains can even have such thoughts. Tell Harley to be careful up there!
Shieldmaiden — What a shame that someone would take their lives like that, but I guess if you’re hell bent on doing it, pick a place where you’re certain to die. Glass catwalks should be outlawed. I’m guessing you have no plans to try this, then?
Surfie — It was a tad easier getting back to the starting point. We almost went over it again yesterday, but it’s was freezing cold. Good for you on getting over your fear. You are not alone with that. Many people have social anxiety but are not strong enough to even try for help. Pat yourself on the back. You done good!
Jenn of Many Cabbages — I think when I turned 40, I started to think of how silly it was that I couldn’t do certain things. I didn’t want to live the second half of my life still regretting that I couldn’t go certain places in certain ways. I feel so triumphant!
Marta Daniels — Oh, please do try to get over your fear. There is no greater pleasure in knowing you did the one thing you never thought you could do. Doing this was the best Christmas present I could give myself.
Nezzy — I don’t blame you for being scared of storms. I don’t live anywhere near tornado zone, and am happy for that. I hope you don’t find yourself in many places where you’re leaping from roof to roof, unless you’re a Superhero. Are you?
Pricilla — No thanks! Me and animals do not mix. Especially the horned kind.
Shadowsrider — I think it would be awesome to ride a horse, but I’m not kidding — I need to lose some weight first or that poor horse would sink in the middle.
Lidian — I remember fondly the time my husband and I visited the Grand Canyon, this was before my fear developed. I didn’t have a single problem looking out over the edge. But now? Ugh. And hiking? Out.
grannyann — Thanks and same to you! It’s almost here!
stacey — Oh, don’t be embarrassed. I work with a woman who can’t take the elevator anywhere. She works on the 3rd floor of our building. She’s lucky it’s not a high-rise. Well, she’d probably be in really good shape because no matter what, she will not step foot in one. I understand.
RE A Bad Girl Says — Awww, sorry about the backwards descent. I’ve eaten in the CN Tower, too. Not a problem. But I’m guessing you didn’t stand next to the glass and look down, right? I have trouble with wind as well. The Empire State Bldg visit would have been a whole lot easier for me without the wind whipping around.
puglette — {shakes finger at husband} I’m guessing the only reason you don’t punch him while he’s doing it is so you don’t actually drive off a cliff.
ann — Thank you and YES! Victory is mine. Feels great!
Leeuna — “..a broom closet on a bridge.” What a funny visual. Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure that can never happen.
Maureen — Mind over matter, baby! And now I can approach my fears with a little more confidence. This all started when I took a spring road trip alone and then flew alone. I feel like nothing can stop me now.
Katherine — Follow the happy face…follow the happy face…follow the happy face…
Curtis — Good for you! You still went! And you didn’t get lost! When I flew alone in July, I remember walking around the airport making a million mental notations about where I was headed so I could find my way back to the gate. The further away from it I got, the more empowered I felt. It’s all about making baby steps.
Yum Yucky — So I guess there are no bridges in your future? Hey, not all bridges are over water. Start there!
Phyl — Thank you! Oh, how weird. So neither of you is actually looking straight ahead? So funny!
JD at I Do Things — I can! I can! I want to keep trying walking the bridge and I want to dare to look out over it sometime. That would be a huge move. Medication is probably the only way some people can get through these things. I’m a big supporter of meds if you need ’em.
Chris — Aw, what a nice thought. Maybe that would be Windy’s little payback for us following her and her story.
MA Fat Woman — Yeah, baby! I’m still so stoked that I did it.
Kim — Stay away from the tree! Congrats on making it to the end of another semester. Think Spring!
Jena Isle — It really is. I DO feel like the master of my universe! And I hope this is only the beginning of my conquering more fears. Totally liberating!
December 24th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
I can relate, Kathy. I use to get awful panic attacks. Bridges, traffic, buildings where I can’t see out windows… My divorce mostly cured that. Mostly.
About 15 years ago I actually walked across the Royal Gorge Bridge. Well, ok, I walked about 50 steps and turned around terrified out of my mind. But still. That was HUGE for me. http://www.royalgorgebridge.com/
And I love Key West and there are 42 bridges from Homestead to Key West. I totally did that! Good thing I wasn’t driving though. Just saying. hahahaha!
.-= Barb – WillThink4Wine´s last blog ..Letters to Santa =-.
December 25th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
In my younger days I was afraid of heights. I still loved to climb trees, though and just learned to look down. Then in my 20’s I used to climb down very steep cliffs in order to fish on empty, “inaccessible” beaches. I learned there not to look down either. I don’t think yo ever “get over” these phobias, you just learn to do things in spite of them. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas!
.-= Will´s last blog ..Wishing All a Wonderful Christmas! =-.
December 26th, 2009 at 12:53 am
Darlin’… I am soooo proud of you!!!! *does high kick, but not while on a bridge*
.-= jennyonthespot´s last blog ..Merry Christmas… =-.
December 27th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Good for you, Kathy! I have the same fear. The car side looks pretty scary.
I do not think I could ever, ever walk out on that walkway at the Grand Canyon.
.-= Cats~Goats~Quotes´s last blog ..Walking with The Boyz =-.
December 28th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
I’m afraid of caterpillars. The really hairy and colourful ones, they completely and utterly freak me out!
I sew, and I’m afraid of a needle one day breaking and flicking the point up into my eye – luckily I wear glasses.
I knit, and I’m also afraid of one day hurting myself with my knitting needles.
I’m also irrationally scared of things from movies, like the Grudge monster and the demon from Paranormal Activity. It’s ridiculous, I know, but ghosty-toasty stuff scares me!
.-= Elisha´s last blog ..Notice how anything financial seems very dour? =-.
December 29th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Life would be so much easier if we had more easy-to-understand pictorial explanations.
.-= Ms. SP´s last blog ..Audiobook: The Virgin and the Mousetrap by Chet Raymo =-.
December 29th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
[…] conquers her fear of heights but the picture at the bottom puts the whole story over the edge (as it […]
January 8th, 2010 at 11:47 am
I have several fears and phobias, driving in certain places like over bridges etc. I also had a fear of dogs too for some reason, not sure why. Last year i decided to do something about these irrational fears and took my friends advice and started listening to subliminal Cds. I was really surprised how well they worked, I’ve conquered almost all my fears in 2009, only a few to go in 2010, fingers crossed :). BTW I got my Subliminal CDs from http://subliminalcd.net if anyone is interested…
January 19th, 2010 at 8:27 pm
I have BEEN on this bridge. Is this in Bethlehem PA????
February 24th, 2010 at 2:51 pm
Great story, and congrats on conquering your fears. I’ve been thinking about whether or not I have any fears, and while I’m not a brave person, I can’t think of any deep-seated, life-altering fear, quaking-in-my-boots fears. I can recall a number of instances when I was afraid, once about getting on a plane, but I had already flown to my destination just fine – no fears. But a week later, I really didn’t want to get on that plane to fly home. Why? I’ll never know. Nothing happened to make me afraid. I didn’t have the opportunity to fly again for about 10 years, but I was fine and have been ever since. And talking about bridges, not walking but being a passenger in a car going across the Huey Long bridge in or near New Orleans. It is slung on a train trestle much like an afterthought. Oh, we need a bridge here. I’ll never do that again! Maybe they’ve fixed it by now – that was a long while ago.
Let me just add that I find The Junk Drawer and your writing very good and entertaining, and I’ve only just arrived. Keep on keeping on!