If He Dies, I’m Having a Yard Sale
Stuff I hate April 26th, 2010
I give up.
This is a picture of our living room “entertainment center,” which I prefer to call the “Ain’t gonna figure any of that out, even if you make me take a class on it center.”
All I want to do is watch TV. Regular TV. With one remote that has power, channel-changing and volume buttons.
Instead, we have:
1. An HDTV set.
2. A surround sound audio system with four speakers and two subwoofers that will shake your teeth and rip your face off.
3. A DVD player.
4. A Wii.
5. Wireless headphones.
6. A DVR.
7. Three remotes, all unfortunately necessary.
I’ve long since stopped trying to figure out how to watch DVDs. I don’t even know if I remember how to operate the Wii. The wireless headphones are a new addition, but luckily, they’re not for me. My husband Dave wears them so I can have some peace and quiet while blogging in the kitchen, which is feet away from this monstrosity.
I hate having to use two remotes just to watch TV, one for sound, another for channel-changing.
Sometimes I think I want to pop in a DVD, but I would need kindergarten instructions and by the time I figure it out, the movie will be free on regular cable.
All I’m saying is that if my husband gets hit by a bus, there’s gonna be one big ass yard sale at my house. I would sell everything for a dollar and not look back.
Do the men in your house have toys like this? Do you know how to operate it all? Do you need an assistant like me? Or does your house have a man cave where all this stuff lives and you don’t have to think about it?
Stumble it!
April 27th, 2010 at 7:53 am
Oh yeah. We have all that stuff. No headphones, but the giant TV, DVR, DVD player, VHS, Wii. Sad thing is that I’m the one that has to hook everything up.
Multiple remotes, too. Every once in awhile I take the batteries out of the “main” one, just to mess with his head.
🙂
.-= MaryLou´s last blog ..Black and White and Red All Over =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 8:09 am
Oh, I just remembered! I have a remote for my mac too, which is also a multimedia center and is hooked up to our TV!
That makes 7 remotes in all.
I keep saying I’m going start on the Wii again, but other things seem to take preference at the moment.
.-= Babs – beetle´s last blog ..Mo I’ve got a splinter! =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 9:07 am
this seems to be an exact copy of my living room. xbox, ps3, wii…a plasma tv and some huuuuge soundsystems. i think we need such toys – it is just in our nature. i am wondering what car he’s driving
April 27th, 2010 at 9:52 am
We do this on purpose so we maintain some semblance of value in the home.
The more you know.
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..The Talk – a Mental Poo ‘After School’ Special =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 10:07 am
What is it with men and technology?!
.-= SuziCate´s last blog ..Spy Rock =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 10:26 am
hi Kathy,
hmmm…
I’ve got to agree with you. I’d rather just have a TV with a remote. Well, and maybe a DVD player, but that’s it.
Do I have to turn in my license-to-be-a-man somewhere?
~ Steve, the in-touch-with-his-feminine-side trade show guru
.-= Steve, the MIA trade show guru´s last blog ..Cheap Trade Show Displays Aren’t Always Cheap =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Pretty timely post, as I just bought and hooked up my new Sony 46″ HDTV. It freaking rocks.
.-= Knucklehead!´s last blog ..Fishing With Grandpap =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 1:07 pm
This is a great post. I cannot stand a lot of electronic stuff and luckily my hubby is technically challenge. I usually have to set everything up even connecting the VCR.
April 27th, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Your photo looks very much like my living room, but add three more components and five more speakers. To his credit, my husband has done his best to simplify things with a universal remote. And for my peace of mind, it’s possible to watch TV using only the remote that came with DISH Network. I say, make your husband do just these two things for you.
.-= pam´s last blog ..Friday fun: double down =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Hey! I didn’t realize we lived in the same house. lol We have the HDTV, surround, Wii, Xbox360, PS3, about 4 remotes. It’s annoying! When I want to watch a movie I have to turn the TV and move plugs around. *le sigh*
PS..don’t announce the garage sale too loudly, DH will hear and we don’t need anymore stuff! lol
.-= Leslie´s last blog ..One of those days =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
As I live alone, I am responsible for the amount of technology I have. But I do have three friggin’ remotes, and all of them needed. One for the Blue-Ray, one for the cable and one for the TV set to control volume and transition to the Blue-Ray player.
My dad had the bright idea one time when visiting that he would program it all into a universal remote for me. Only he didn’t at the time understand: 1) How the cable worked 2.) What my set-up was and 3.) That unlike any of Tolkien’s work, there cannot be one remote to rule them all.
I had to pry them all out of his hands lest something get changed I can’t unchange (I teeter on a technological precipice here) and it all goes bye-bye.
.-= Jenn of Many Cabbages´s last blog ..Aesthetic Examination in Fine Bad Art: Portrait of Big-Eyed Pig-Dog-Person =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
ha ha…I was INCHES away from taking a pic of the hubs napping on the couch (well deserved nap), w/ remote growing out of one hand while his other aperture, his iPhone was nuzzled in on his stomach…ahhh, such precious memories…LOL Kathy!!
.-= amy lilley´s last blog ..Violins and the Farmers Market?? =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 4:01 pm
Don’t have a man cave, but I’m pretty sure my little boy is beginning to work on his teenage boy cave. Last week he put a “Stop you” sign on his door. I’m pretty sure he means me because he still lets the cats in!
.-= DJ´s last blog ..His First Digital Art! =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
I have my 2 remotes right next to me here. Lol! I love my surround sound, but no one else in the house seems to like it. I insist on turning it on when playing DVD’s. To me, it makes it more theater like with the big screen tv. I just think they don’t like it because it’s an extra button to turn off when the shows over. (And yes, they always forget.)
.-= Lola´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 5:07 pm
MayB — I’d take the 50% odds. Hey, better than knowing only one, right?
Tracy — You are so lucky in that regard. Kidless me doesn’t have the luxury. Yeah, I know. When I grew up, the only thing we could attach to our lame TV set was the Pong game. Remember that? I think you might be too young to remember.
MaryLou — I’m sorry you have to hook it all up. But if you like it, more power to you. I love your sense of humor. Remove batteries. Hee.
Babs Beetle — Ding ding ding! I think you’re a winner (or at least tied) with 7. That’s insane, though, you know. Our Wii is gathering dust. I knew it would.
zahnaufheller — I think it’s in the genes, too. I can’t say that I’m jealous you guys got them, though. His car is nothing special, although with all the stuff they put in new cars these days, I’m going to have a really hard time when I buy new. I don’t know how to operate anything in his. It’s totally off-limits to me.
mooooog35 — Thank you for the explanation. I no longer have to wonder. Dude, did I ever ask you where you get your screen name from? What does mooooog35 mean?
SuziCate — No one knows, although mooooog35 has a theory.
Steve, the in-touch-with-his-feminine-side trade show guru — No, you don’t have to turn in your man card. In fact, the chicks will dig you for not caring about all that technology.
Knucklehead! — I know! How many HD channels do you get? Our cable was just upgraded to receive about 50+ channels and I swear we won’t watch anything else. Once you’ve had HD, you never go back.
Dawnaurora — I’m sorry you’re the techno-geek in the house. I’m not sure you want to be, either. You have my deepest sympathies.
pam — Oh, lucky you. Does the remote only work for the TV though? I want a remote that will do everything at the touch of one button. I’m pretty sure I’m just dreaming that someone can make such a thing.
Leslie — OMG. Move plugs around? Gad. I want to plug in one cable and never move it until I die. Deal. I won’t mention the yard sale to too many people. We’d be crushed with visitors and all the wives would kill me.
Jenn of Many Cabbages – Good save! But remember, your Dad can’t help it. I think we’ve safely determined that his actions are driven by genes. Glad you saved yourself!
amy lilley — Awesome. I would have loved to see the picture. As long as he doesn’t actually bring them to bed with him, I think he’s still OK.
DJ — Awww, “Stop you”. So cute. I don’t suppose you’ll see your son again until he moves away to college. Sorry ’bout that.
Lola — Surround sound does make me feel like I’m in a theater, but I only really want that turned on for certain movies. I can live without it most of the time. Buttons, buttons, buttons! Enough!
April 27th, 2010 at 7:10 pm
My 18 year old son has more gadgets than I can count. My house will seem empty when he moves out!
.-= Stacey´s last blog ..Weight Watchers Update – Again =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
My teens have lots of stuff with wires attached.
.-= carol at A Second Cup´s last blog ..Parenting Semi-Adults: Princess vs. The Bank =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 8:14 pm
Yes, we have some sort of surround sound system that has a huge box thing with all kinds of knobs and buttons and controls all over it. And of course its own remote control. This has only been used a handful of times the year it was purchased (several years ago!). Not it sits there collecting dust. I have no need for surround sound and the one time I tried to use the thing I thought I could feel my brain starting to bleed.
.-= Surfie´s last blog ..I Feel So Accomplished! =-.
April 27th, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Definitely all of it is not only necessary but he has the bare minimum. Give hubby a few more years and you will have holographic 3 D movies and reality shows right in your living room. Just think of all the money you save not going out to the movies, when you can just sit home and enjoy watching better pictures, listening to great sound and be able to stop the movie to go to the bathroom. 🙂
.-= Man Over Board´s last blog ..Amazing Tiny Apartment Transforms Into A 24 Room Living Area =-.
April 28th, 2010 at 12:35 am
Hey there Kathy,
I’d say it’s a man thing. I, too, have my set of “toys” and I know that it drives my wife crazy that they’re in somewhat in the same arrangement as the picture. lol I don’t know… Men are just attracted to electronics and gadgets… or we’re easily entertained by shiny things. =o) Later!
.-= Metallman´s last blog ..I Gots Me a Blackberry =-.
April 28th, 2010 at 6:44 am
Kathy – I would love if my hubby had all that cool stuff! I would prolly use it more than he would 🙂
No, I get stuck with the husband that has just about every useless tool you can possibly imaging cluttering the basement and garage. Got a dead tree problem? He’s got a tool for that! Got a wire problem? He’s got a tool for that! Got a dead tree with wires coming out of it problem? He’s got a tool for that! While I get stuck with the crappiest household tools (“They aren’t tools!”) and the rest of the world gets to have really cool vacuums! I have to till my 10 x 20′ garden on my hands ad knees with a claw and the rest of the world has a really cool rear-tine tiller! When my hubby dies, it’s a major tool sale…and I get that tiller I have been waiting forever for!
.-= Lisa – Alterity´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
April 28th, 2010 at 8:43 am
I’m the technical wizard in our household. By which I mean I’m the one who can set the DVD player’s clock and figure out how to finalize a disc.
That set-up of Dave’s? I’m pretty sure I’d set in on fire or something if I even got within 5 feet of it.
.-= JD at I Do Things´s last blog ..I Hit “Reply” so you don’t have to =-.
April 28th, 2010 at 8:46 am
I always attributed our ridiculously complicated tv setup to my husband’s undergrad degree from MIT, but now I see it’s actually a total MAN thing. Yes, we also need 3 remotes to watch television, but in addition to the Wii and DVD player, he’s also hooked up the iMac to the TV so we can watch the internet in HD. JUST WHAT I WAS WAITING FOR, HONEY! 😉
.-= Velma´s last blog ..Getting Kinky in Our Nation’s Capitol =-.
April 28th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
This is all a conspiracy to keep women under our thumb. Make the world to complex for them to figure out and they will always come running back to us. That said, I know that I hate having to explain how to work this thing to my wife, so if she asks me to set up the DVD for her, I usually state, that if you can’t figure it out yourself, then you must not want to watch it that badly. End of comment.
Anyway…..let me know when you have the yard sale….I will defeinately show up with a dollar.
.-= Bruce´s last blog ..Road Trip =-.
April 28th, 2010 at 12:40 pm
I’m in the process of building a similar monster (and, if I do say so myself, I’m a little bit jealous of your setup.)
My wife, for some reason, is not as enthusiastic about buying a new TV/sound system as I am. But I clearly NEED the new TV to go with the Xbox, Wii and DVD player (not to mention the HD PVR I hope to get.)
I have a problem.
.-= Rick´s last blog ..Junk It in the Media: Colin and Justin’s Home Heist & Canada’s Worst Handyman =-.
April 28th, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Where do I send the dollar?
April 28th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Hey. Maybe Babs & Mo can build you a better Entertainment Center? Not that it will solve the remote control issues, but at least it will LOOK pretty!!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Family Fun Night – The Bowling Edition =-.
April 28th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Shoot girl, we have Surround Sound, we have HD and Blue Ray. We have all these remotes for all this junk too. All I want to do is turn something off and on and change channels. Movies on DVD, impossible to figure out without Alex home. Ditto with almost all of it. Sometimes I can’t even turn on the friggin’ thing. Sixty inch tv and I can only use it when Alex is home. Uh huh. I hate technology!
.-= Linda Medrano´s last blog ..Queries Of A Simple Mexican Woman =-.
April 28th, 2010 at 4:20 pm
No surround sound or big speakers here. No HDTV or big flat screen. Just a couple of not-too-old, but outdated TVs, a CD player, a DVD player/recorder, and their respective remotes I can program the DVD, and operate the CD, but hooking all that stuff up is his thing.
April 28th, 2010 at 4:28 pm
Hi Kathy,
Ours is a lot more simple, but unfortunately I’m the one who understands how it all works, so when I hear “Hon, can you come and fix the TV”, I need to put on my thinking cap.
Sometimes I miss the days when all we had were three channels and no remotes – does that date me, or what? haha
.-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Count The Words or Make Each Word Count =-.
April 28th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Stacey — Yes, but will you know how to turn on your TV? I can just see you texting him at school: “Clueless. Send help.”
carol at A Second Cup — Yeah, and that’s another thing. Weren’t we supposed to be totally wireless by now? Wires! Wires everywhere!
Surfie — Yes, brains can bleed. You are right to be concerned. I love how you described your setup. About as precise as I can describe my own.
Man Over Board — Oh, don’t give him any ideas! He reads these comments!!!!
Metallman — I’m going with “shiny things.” Which makes it really easy for us to entertain you fellows, doesn’t it?
Lisa Alterity — Um. You can have it. I’m so sorry to hear you’re married to The Tool Man. Although it does sound like he knows what he’s doing and I bet all your jealous neighbor men come over to borrow his things. I’m laughing at your description of tilling the garden (sorry!) We once bought a tiller thingy on the home shopping channel. Piece of crap. Practically broke our wrists trying to use it.
JD at I Do Things — You’re way ahead of me then, chickadee. I do worry about screwing his toys up. Ever since I moved one of the “precisely calibrated” speakers while dusting. Geesh. You would have thought I’d pressed the wrong button at a nuclear power plant. Never touching it again.
Velma — Uh-oh. An MIT guy. I’m sorry. He probably builds his own cars in the garage, right? I have to say it used to be cool when I could watch TV off the laptop. Can’t do that anymore since he introduced Piece #7 to the mix.
Bruce — I do feel your pain. Dave said to me last night “Well, if you would just listen for two minutes while I explain….” Yeah, blah blah blah, I didn’t hear anything after “if you would just…”
Rick — Wives will never get as excited as you, so save yourself the grief. Maybe you’ll get lucky and if you do all the work, she’ll like it and appreciate it. Or, she’ll be like me and mutter incoherently to herself when she tries turning the damn thing on.
Linda — To: What Was I Thinking St, Crazytown, USA
meleah rebeccah — Tell me about it! Those gals really have talent. That’s something I’m jealous of. I once put together a small table that had instructions and I didn’t even cut it myself and I thought I would die.
Linda Medrano — I hear ya, sister. Last weekend I couldn’t watch TV because some button wasn’t pressed and I didn’t know what to do and hubs was out mowing the lawn and I didn’t want to disturb him. I’m not kidding when I say I wouldn’t know how to use the systems and would pretty much let it gather dust and die a natural death.
Linda — See, now why can’t I have that?
Barbara Swafford — You’re ahead of the curve then. I’m in awe of you. Yes, you’re dating yourself, but I’m in the same league so don’t feel bad. I miss those days too.
April 28th, 2010 at 4:57 pm
My name is Dave too and, frankly, I think your Dave needs MORE equipment.
I have FOUR remotes – one for my HDTV, one for the Satellite box, one for the DVD and a dummy one, just to annoy the missus.
🙂
Cheers
PM
.-= Plastic Mancunian´s last blog ..How To Conquer The World =-.
April 28th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
I have all of that upstairs AND downstairs. He actually turned the bonus room into a Movie theater. No kids allowed.
April 28th, 2010 at 9:32 pm
AND that’s why i’m always on the computer. i hate the TV, btw. i watch 2 maybe 3 channels. it’s quite simple here and i don’t bother with it…although we do have 3 remotes?
April 29th, 2010 at 6:47 am
the must sell that exact same set up in the husbands “how to irritate your wife” handbook – the speakers he put out here by the monster tv are taller than the tv – surround sound – who needs it? When he dies I’m giving the shit away.
April 29th, 2010 at 6:45 pm
Plastic Mancunian — Noooooo! I bet you have a dummy one. I would keep picking it up and wondering why it didn’t do anything. For months before I realized my husband was just messing with my head.
Julie from Momspective — I bet the movie room looks like a church.
v — I wouldn’t miss it either. My laptop is another story. Turn off my internet connection and you’d have a riot on your hands.
mosquito trap — I hear ya. It would all go quickly and I’d wave goodbye and good riddance.
April 30th, 2010 at 12:45 am
I AM the man in my house being single, and mine is actually a little more complicated then yours.
And I don’t even watch TV except to see Project Runway and Mad Men, so figure THAT one out.
April 30th, 2010 at 2:50 am
You just have explained how I feel too about my ‘entertainment center’. I just want to turn the TV on and then change channels. Oh well I will have to stick to one channel when the entertainment king is not around.
April 30th, 2010 at 6:47 am
I almost cr…when I saw what they had behind my tv when they brought in the DVR plus all the cords I had. I hate piles of cords behind things!!!
.-= grannyann´s last blog ..New Look =-.
April 30th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
I totally figure all this stuff out. My fiance and I are both gamers, and as I’m smaller, it’s easier for me to fit behind computer desks, so I put our computers together when we get new ones. I mean plugging in everything in and such. Same with the television and gaming consoles, I can fit easier behind everything, so I do. (^_^)
The television we bought last year has inbuilt HDTV capabilities, but I’ve still not figured out how to pick up those channels. (^_^) We just use the cable box. *nods*
.-= Elisha´s last blog ..Getting a license =-.
May 1st, 2010 at 2:09 am
Haha I feel the exact same way most of the time! We have a similar setup in our living room, and the garage is a whole ‘nother story altogether. Anyway, I am enjoying reading your posts. Thanks for the entertainment.
.-= Linda Dobson´s last blog ..Miraclesuit Swimwear – A Story =-.
May 1st, 2010 at 4:15 am
Sew Ducky — Our lives are supposed to be less complicated! At least that’s my goal. It’s one giant FAIL.
Paulineh — I wrote a post a while back about how many channels we have to watch now and I couldn’t believe that some people grew up with only a few to choose from. Now look where we are! We have a thousand channels and still run the risk of only being able to see just one!
grannyann — I do too. I wanted to clean mine up for this picture but thought better of it. I don’t want to go venturing where I don’t belong.
Elisha — I hate, hate, hate having to crawl behind a setup and swap out a cable. It’s like you should only have to do it once and then never venture there again until you move out of the house. Oh, you MUST figure out the HD! It’s delightful!
Linda Dobson — I don’t poke around the garage much. There are things in there that can set the house on fire.
May 1st, 2010 at 5:46 pm
We have a few electronic things but they are all operated by one lone remote that we plug into the computer via usb, it’s pretty slick and will even offer help if something is not on properly. We actually have two of these things, but we got rid of the other tv.
.-= carla´s last blog ..Nice Rack! =-.
May 1st, 2010 at 7:41 pm
Oh Kathy…the rest of the crap I have may/may not use electricity. I just had to borrow my mom’s sewing machine because I wanted to make something that was easier on her $5000 one because mine is 100 years old and scoffs at both energy AND stretchy fabric (and really, it scoffs at me in general. I want to sew something it often decides it isn’t going to do it today. I once made a post about my machine being a grumpy old man and meant it). My coffee pot is a 30s percolator I have to use on the stove (although I do own one that makes one cup at a time) and I don’t think I have actually watched any television the last 4 months. At all. (Even though Project Runway has been on.)
I’m not all into the high tech stuff, even with the television. I can use it, and I can program all the stuff, and DO for mine and my dad’s, but in all honesty the kid gets more out of it then I do.
Although the clothes in HD is pretty awesome, and I can record it and watch it when I feel like, commercial free. Mostly I pay for satellite and a TV set and then never turn it on.
.-= SewDucky´s last blog ..*nose pinch* =-.
May 3rd, 2010 at 11:05 am
Oh so familiar.
May 8th, 2010 at 5:11 am
Carla — What’s that? You have electronics that will help you if something is wrong? Surely you jest.
SewDucky — I would love to see your old sewing machine. They made ’em good back then, didn’t they? Of course, I bet the new ones are like Cadillacs next to yours. All those newfangled buttons and stuff! I still can’t sew a button to save my life, so sewing technology would be totally lost on me.
Maryann — And I bet you’re the one who has to set everything up. Story of our lives, eh?
May 8th, 2010 at 5:39 am
Yep, he loves his “toys”
I don’t watch much TV at all, he’s just about an addict!
May 13th, 2010 at 2:43 pm
[…] friend Kathy of The Junk Drawer wrote recently she plans to say “Sayonara” to her […]