My Mailman Hates Me
Bacon, Fun April 5th, 2010Yeah, those would be tire tracks.
Not folded.
Not spindled.
Not bent.
Not torn.
Driven over with a two ton vehicle.
Dude, bad day?
At first I thought the envelope was special, you know, embossed with a pretty pattern of some kind. The tracks were so evenly distributed I thought my brother’s birthday gift thank you card was kinda cool.
And then I realized someone was just hatin’ on my mail.
I hope when they deliver my Ked’s bacon sneakers, they arrive in one piece.
That’s right, folks. I bought bacon sneakers.
Certainly, no one who reads my blog with any regularity will be surprised by this fact.
Fashion show to follow.
Oink.
Stumble it!
April 7th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
We have bacon and egg bandaids… I will have to send you some to go with your awesome new shoes!! You know, those tire marks actually resemble bacon. Maybe he took your bacon shoes and left you with THAT!
My mailman is HYSTERICAL. Once I was taking the trash out and my husband was in the front yard. The mailman stopped and called out, “Man, you’ve trained her WELL!” Then another time we got a letter that wasn’t ours. We put it back in the box the next day, only to find a post it note on our mail that said, “you just can’t find good help these days!” Yup, we love our mailman!
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..The Easter Bunny Rocks! =-.
April 7th, 2010 at 10:05 pm
I once got one of those post office clear bags. They included the envelope but not the card. Good thing there was no money in it!
.-= Kevin´s last blog ..Ten Celebrities Who Will Die This Year =-.
April 7th, 2010 at 11:45 pm
I once had a package that was shipped all the way to London. It was supposed to end up there. It came back to me 3 months later trampled with a pink sticky note on it saying delivery had been attempted. How did that British sticky stay on there over the ocean? It was really from the London post office. Turns out the “you have a package at the post office” note got stuck under the welcome mat and the recipient never saw it. I sent it back again, of course, but just sayin’ that at least the US Post office gives you a bag and doesn’t expect a flimsy sticky note to hang on through sleet and snow.
.-= Chris@TheSnackHound´s last blog ..Paprika Added to the Fiestaware Line =-.
April 8th, 2010 at 1:17 am
Your mail does look kind of pretty. From a distance, at least. But that’s weird. You have to wonder how it happened. He dropped it, ran over it, somehow saw it and picked it back up? Not plausible. I think he might be psycho — the sort of mail carrier who wears bacon shoes. Unless they’re Canadian bacon shoes. Canadians are very friendly. Never threatening.
.-= MikeWJ at TooManyMornings´s last blog ..Blogger Q & A: Why I Call Myself MikeWJ =-.
April 8th, 2010 at 4:10 am
Stacey — Yes, especially. I need no sneakers, but I needs me muh bacon.
Regan — And you get to see them in person. How lucky are you?
Jennifer — Thanks to Nanny Goats for bringing you here! I haven’t seen Pet Detective. Was he hatin’ on someone’s nice mail?
Dr. Kal — Unfortunately, I can’t find Converse in any flavors (have a friend who’s a big Converse fanatic). Uh-oh. I don’t give anything to my mailman for the holidays. Maybe I should reconsider.
DJ — That cracks me up. I really never think I talk that much about bacon, but I guess I do. I think I’ve been in denial about my obsession. I poked around the Zazzle site and there are in fact kids’ sized shoes to be had, just not the bacon kind.
Katherine — I have some bacon bandaids in my desk at work. Even used them recently when I cut myself with a knife. Got a lot of attention, too. Can’t wait to see what happens when I wear my sneaks. I like your mailman. Ours is actually a really nice guy. He’ll bring packages up to the door if they don’t fit perfectly in the mailbox. I should really tip him.
Kevin — Cripes. They shouldn’t have given you anything! Where’s the card. D’oh!
Chris at TheSnackHound — Three months?!? What a shame it made the trip there and back undelivered. Too bad they never saw the note. So did you attempt to resend it?
MikeMJ — I don’t know. It could have happened anywhere. Out on delivery or at the distribution plant. Someone asked me if they made Canadian bacon shoes, btw. I couldn’t find any. But the thought of them made me hungry.
April 8th, 2010 at 11:37 am
I’m totally waiting for bacon-flavored toothpaste.
.-= injaynesworld´s last blog ..injaynesworld you’ll never hear "No Comment…" =-.
April 8th, 2010 at 7:41 pm
Yes, I did indeed resend it back to London. The recipient wasn’t alarmed in the least.
.-= Chris@TheSnackHound´s last blog ..Paprika Added to the Fiestaware Line =-.
April 9th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
I think we might have the same mailman.
.-= carol at A Second Cup´s last blog ..Aging With Adventure: It’s Just Paint =-.
April 10th, 2010 at 5:38 am
injaynesworld — Would bacon-flavored dental floss do?
Chris at TheSnackHound — I’m glad it finally made it’s way there. Cripes. Took forever, though.
carol at A Second Cup — I think there’s one in every town.
April 11th, 2010 at 8:36 am
My mailman hates me more than your mailman hates you. My mailman hates me so much, I’m afraid of him. I imagine him hacking into the accounts of people on his route, looking for new ways to express his hate. That’s why I can’t say more.
April 13th, 2010 at 3:55 pm
I had a friend who has since passed that taught me some of the best things come from a junk drawer, maybe I already knew that.
As for the shoes, now you need the L T.
.-= Barbara´s last blog ..Hey There Mr. Postman =-.
April 17th, 2010 at 4:27 am
barry knister — Is he close to retirement?
Barbara — Yes, but the LT will make me soggy 🙁