Malware Bytes
computing, work September 22nd, 2010In my line of work, I find myself cleaning malware off my clients’ computers two or three times a week. Sometimes that involves an entire reinstall of Windows, applications and data. You have no idea what I’d like to do to the people who spend their time invading computers with their crap programs.
I’m not a violent person, but let’s just say my punishment would involve burying them in sand up to their necks and unleashing an army of hungry fire ants. It may also involve gasoline, a match and maniacal laughter. OK, so maybe I am violent.
The one thing that’s troubling for users when they acquire malware is that they feel almost physically violated. Some look like they’re going to cry. All are annoyed, and rightly so. Yet others react to it as though I told them they have a case of head lice.
This is what the discussion feels like when I inform them of their infection:
Client: I have what?
Me: You have head lice.
Client: How did I get it?
Me: Likely a website.
Client: But I’m careful.
Me: Head lice is everywhere.
Client: How can I prevent it?
Me: It’s hard to avoid it.
Client: But I haven’t been hanging around sites with head lice.
Me: You wouldn’t really know it if you were. Lots of normal-looking sites have head lice.
Client: How do I get rid of it?
Me: I clean it with head lice remover.
Client: Will it work?
Me: Not always. Sometimes we have to chop off your whole head. It could take hours.
Client: So if you get rid of my head lice and I lose my whole head, can you at least save my data?
Me: Yes.
Client: Wow, I really want to punch those stupid people who gave me head lice.
Me: I’ve got it covered. See these fire ants?
* If you have a bout of head lice on your Windows PC, you can remove it easily (most of the time) with the free Malwarebytes program. It’s best to run it in Safe Mode.
Stumble it!
September 22nd, 2010 at 6:20 pm
I just don’t get the point behind their motives. It’s not like they even know the person who’s been infected and can sit there and laugh at them.
ann´s last blog post ..Thought for the day
September 22nd, 2010 at 6:29 pm
You are not violent at all. I would do worse than fire ants 🙂 Thanks for this information, it is helpful.
Joanne Olivieri´s last blog post ..Tree Angles
September 22nd, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Thanks for the funny, yet true conversation example. I love their antimalware program, and it tends to work very well, especially in safe mode. I also recommend people use microsoft’s security essentials or windows defender to keep the junk from ever getting on the system to begin with.
Aaron´s last blog post ..LG 37LE5300 37-Inch 1080p 120 Hz LED LCD HDTV Review
September 22nd, 2010 at 6:37 pm
I feel your pain. I also think there is a special place in hell for people who send out worm virus’. Recently we got the ‘Here it is’ worm. I sent out e-mails with screen shots saying if you get this delete it! I put up flyers at all the printers in case they hadn’t gotten to my e-mail yet, showing them the bad e-mail with big red letters VIRUS!!
I still had people get it. Their excuse? ‘I just clicked it without thinking.’ Ya think?
Shadowsrider´s last blog post ..Virginia Scottish Games 2010
September 22nd, 2010 at 6:59 pm
What amazes me are the people who get virus’ from sites they really shouldn’t be on, you fix the computer, tell them ‘this is more than likely where you got it’ and they go right back and call you again next week. Or the one’s who use the P2P sites and when you warn them they say they’ve never had a problem. Really? Is that why you just had to reformat your HD? Or your IP just sent you the we’re taking you off line until you get such and such virus removed?
Shawn Marie´s last blog post ..So Much
September 22nd, 2010 at 7:00 pm
Thanks for the information!
Many of us had malware this week from a site we’ve been using for years.
Don’t understand the thrill folks get when sending virus/malware.
Cats~Goats~Quotes´s last blog post ..Good-bye Sweet Sniffie
September 22nd, 2010 at 7:25 pm
I’ve had the free version for years, but about 2 months ago I got head lice that MalwareBytes wouldn’t handle. It didn’t stop it or strip it out. I had to bring my head lice to my guru. He stripped it clean of head lice, after a fierce and mighty battle that just about rocked his world. It literally was the first time he’d come up against this particular genus of head lice. Now I have the paid version of MB. And I still have my guru. He totally rocks my world. Just saying.
Barb @WillThink4Wine´s last blog post ..Farewell- Scooter
September 22nd, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Won’t the gasoline hurt the ants?
I’ve had good luck with just Winodows Updates, AVG Free, and Spybot S&D. No infections in a few years. How does Malware Bytes compare to those other tools?
Avoiding torrent sites and not downloading “awesome emoticons to add to email!!” probably helps, too.
Cromely´s last blog post ..Cirque du Soleil- Alegria
September 22nd, 2010 at 9:03 pm
Been there. I quit EC because I was getting infected with all sorts of things from visiting blogs that were infected. It was crazy until I finally quit dropping with that group.
I like the head lice analogy. 🙂
Hey, stop by my blog on Thursday. Hobbes and I send our love to you. 🙂
Lin´s last blog post ..Hide Your Husbands
September 22nd, 2010 at 9:25 pm
Great post! Exactly what it seems like you’re telling your customers. I had to talk one of my customers down after she was convinced her 13 y/o son was visiting porno sites. Sometimes we just don’t get paid enough.
btw… Malwarebytes is one of the main tools I use too along with SUPERAntispyware. You can run them both at the same time.
September 22nd, 2010 at 10:09 pm
Now, if those people that spend their time sending out viruses and other nasties to attach our computers, or hacking into computer systems “just because they can” would direct their intelligence and energies into something productive, they could probably eradicate head lice forever.
C Lanctot´s last blog post ..Sunrise- Laden with Happiness
September 22nd, 2010 at 10:36 pm
I loved your head-lice analogy to computer viruses and such! Great post Kathy. And I mean that in the I love the way you write kind of way!
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post ..My Daddy and The Doctors Office
September 22nd, 2010 at 10:38 pm
Fire ants would be a suitable punishment for a lot of things. Good thinking!
Knucklehead!´s last blog post ..The A Word
September 23rd, 2010 at 12:18 am
I have used that program and a few others specific to certain infections on friends and relatives computers. I have yet to have to reinstall Windows but have come close a few times. I would love to join you in your revenge if you ever catch one of the perpetrators. Fortunately my own computers have never had trouble, but then again, I practice safe se… um surfing.
Will´s last blog post ..Despite My Prediction- Recession Not Over
September 23rd, 2010 at 12:28 am
You are not at all violent, Thanks for sharing such an important information here, my PC have been suffering from the same problem. Nice share!
September 23rd, 2010 at 4:35 am
ann — They do it for bragging rights, as far as I can tell. The guy who caused the Twitter problem this week was quoted as saying “I just wanted to prove it could be done.” OK, a**hole. Congrats for being a jerk.
Joanne Olivieri — The fire ants is all I’ll admit to publicly.
Aaron — We like Security Essentials, too. The problem is there is no one product that protects you from everything. It’d be a best seller if there was. Instead, you roll the dice with what you have and hope for the best.
Shadowsrider — I’ve been there. When you ask people later why they clicked, they don’t often have a good answer. I chalk it up to getting so much freaking email every day, people are just trying to get through it all and don’t spend even one second thinking about it first. Sigh.
Shawn Marie — I feel that frustration. I do at least try to get people to think about where they just were before they started getting bad pop-ups or strange behaviors. More often than not, they say they don’t know. But I know some MUST know and just don’t want to say. I just hope they steer clear of them in the future, even if they don’t fess up.
Cats~Goats~Quotes — And that’s the problem. You could be visiting a decent site for a long time, a reputable one, and then BAM!, malware. Very frustrating.
Barb — “fierce and mighty battle.” I’ve been there. I’ve also been known to run around the office asking for high fives when I’ve successfully rid someone of malware without having to re-do the whole machine. Can’t help it. It feels like victory and I want a high five!
Cromely — Dude! Good to see you again. Yeah, poor fire ants. I should be thinking of their welfare. We’re considering a paid version of Malwarebytes because it has real time prevention, which is what I’d rather see. Too often, we’re using it to clean up after the fact. AVG is good (some students use that). I prefer MWB over Spybot now, seems to work better.
Lin — Oh, yeah. EC. One of the main reasons I quit them again was because I was getting strange behavior and redirects. I got out only days later. They never got a handle on those crap sites, did they? I’ll visit you later today, and thank you!
Jeff — Porn sites are often what clients think I’m thinking they’ve been, but I quickly reassure them that while those can be bad, other normal ones can be too. Never heard of SUPERAntispyware. I’ll check it out.
C Lanctot — Got that right, sister! I wonder if any of them, as they get older and wiser, ever regret the damage they’ve done in the past. Nah. Probably not.
meleah rebeccah — Thanks, sweetie!
Knucklehead! — Wouldn’t it? It’s a tossup between the buried-in-the-sand thing and putting them in a sealed room naked with them. Can’t decide which I like better. The screaming would be equally pleasing.
Will — Ah, you got lucky so far. Sometimes it’s just better to wipe and start over, then you know you got it all. My dream is to find myself face-to-face with a perp. Oh, to dream.
Mark Roberts Fairies — You’d think different if I told you the other things I wanted to do to them.
September 23rd, 2010 at 5:50 am
I got head lice from using Entrecard one time. We had to reformat the entire computer. It made me very mad!
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog post ..I Like Gin!
September 23rd, 2010 at 7:21 am
This is another reason why I love Mac. So far, no head lice.
So only their heads get bitten? I think maybe to stake them out naked might be good 😉
Babs – beetle´s last blog post ..Drawing a blank & Sofa conversation
September 23rd, 2010 at 7:54 am
Oh gods, head lice. Yes. Well, that’s probably the most satisfying thing about no longer having to be on the front line of user support. We’ve got things locked down pretty tightly here, so there usually isn’t a head lice infestation among faculty/staff/administrators. But we did have some great fun at the beginning of the semester (and by we, I mean the user support team). I’m really very happy being a behind-the-scenes person, oh yes I am.
And fire ants are far too good for the likes of virus/trojan/spam writers.
Kelly´s last blog post ..Abstract Squared 16
September 23rd, 2010 at 9:14 am
Anyone else was thinking immediately of southpark episode lice capades? http://www.southparkstudios.com/guide/1103
Nice post however understand computer problems when translated into real world stuff.
September 23rd, 2010 at 9:30 am
My husband took Windows off my computer because I kept getting viruses. I felt guilty about it. Now I have Linux and no more viruses.
Linda Medrano´s last blog post ..Harrys New Bed
September 23rd, 2010 at 11:31 am
Thank you. We goats don’t like bugs.
Pricilla´s last blog post ..The Sun!
September 23rd, 2010 at 12:19 pm
Great comparison with the head lice. I was horrified when my brand new laptop caught a case of the nasties a while back. Had to reformat and reload everything, but everything that came on the PC wasn’t on the CD like Microsoft Works, and the webcam software.
I run AVG on my desktop and Avast on the laptop. I have no script installed on both for added protection, and WOT on the laptop. I’ve been free of head lice since then. Knock wood!
September 23rd, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Thanks for that malware removal link. I’ll have to scan my computer sometime. I haven’t had a bad case of those kinds of programs since the gator/gain days *knock on wood* but the idea that people create that stuff for fun or “bragging rights” kills me. There was an article yesterday about a worm that possibly took control of a nuclear research facility in Iran and it scares the daylights out of me that they’re getting so sophisticated.
September 23rd, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Daisy the Curly Cat — I remember that! What a sad day. I bet you wanted to scratch their eyes out. I know that’s not good kitteh behavior, but sometimes you’re allowed.
Babs Beetle — I’m surprised I didn’t get more Mac feedback with this post. You’re lucky not to have to deal with it. Frankly, I can’t believe we’re still dealing with it all these years later. Can’t someone figure it out? Yes, fully naked and bitten would be better.
Kelly — You’re lucky if your university locks you down. We don’t. It’s a total free for all. There are many days I wish I was in a behind-the-scenes role. One day.
Werbeagentur Bodensee — Ha! I don’t watch much South Park, but that’s funny.
Linda Medrano — You live a charmed life. I hate you.
Pricilla — But don’t you eat them for snacks?
Linda — Yes, it’s a pain to rebuild a system. But sometimes it’s actually a good thing. It’s like spring cleaning. Some people I’ve seen need it, virus or not. “No script” is a good protection.
Medical Assistant — Kills me, too. Kills me. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, unfortunately.
September 23rd, 2010 at 7:19 pm
Yep. We are lucky… and by “we” I mean the people in ITS. The faculty, staff and administrators are not so happy about it. Ah well… you can’t please everyone.
Kelly´s last blog post ..Abstract Squared 16
September 24th, 2010 at 3:38 am
I’m going to forward this to EVERY person in my address book. Kathy, you rock!
And I can’t help gloating a little – I work from home on a Linux machine. Haven’t seen a virus for over a year…..
September 24th, 2010 at 3:59 am
Regarding Shadowsrider’s observation:
I still had people get it. Their excuse? ‘I just clicked it without thinking.’
Those are the people who drive me nuts and who deserve to suffer a bit from their own stupidity.
Now that also means their problem becomes your problem and you don’t deserve that unless you are being paid handsomely for your time.
However, I have a feeling you are not being paid a king’s ransom (what’s the going rate spring a king these days?) Ergo, that still sucks but it makes a good blog post.
cardiogirl´s last blog post ..Converse Collection- The red pair
September 24th, 2010 at 11:59 am
My wife & I use malwarebytes all the time in addition to our regular anti-virus software. It’s really paid for itself, especially considering that it’s free.
September 24th, 2010 at 9:01 pm
Karma will “witch” slap those people in the end.
What is safe mode?
September 25th, 2010 at 12:32 am
http://www.computerhope.com/issues/chsafe.htm
That link is good to know about safe mode, Phunnieone.
September 25th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
First, I’m so impressed that you know how to do that. If I can turn my computer on without screwing something up I’ve scored big.
Second, BAHAHAHAHA! Love the head lice analogy. Funny stuff, my talented friend.
injaynesworld´s last blog post ..injaynesworld The Invasion Is Real
September 26th, 2010 at 1:34 pm
HAHAHAHA! Fire ants.
Hey, everyone, malwarebytes really does work. It’s gotten me out of two separate virus jams, so thanks, Kathy.
JD at I Do Things´s last blog post ..Dr JD RETURNS to Cure the Sickly People of the Internet so you don’t have to
September 26th, 2010 at 6:57 pm
As always, I am very impressed, by your IT professionalism and you interviewing skillz!
You are awesome! 🙂
And you know, our worlds sort of collide at head lice and fire ants!
Isn’t that nice?
September 26th, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Your post came at the right time. I, I mean my friend, yeah… My Friend somehow contracted head-lice and I, I mean he had to run your link. It contracted the Trojan Microsoft Essential clone. Not good at all. Had to drop into safe mode to eradicate it. Fortunately, I, I mean HE had not gone to the “scan online” issue as I, I mean he knew that he did not have Microsoft Essentials installed.
Thanks for a timely post.
September 27th, 2010 at 2:53 am
Don’t you think that the worst thing about malware infections is the nasty thought that a lot of the sites selling utilities to remove it also could be connected with setting up the sites that you got it from in the first place..
September 27th, 2010 at 5:57 pm
I run MWB a lot but nothing ever turns up. I wonder if it actually does anything…???
September 27th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
I hope I don’t have any malware on my comp. Is it possible to have computer head lice and not know it? As far as I can tell, my laptop isn’t scratching itself incessantly or anything.
Surfie´s last blog post ..Another Backyard Friend
September 29th, 2010 at 1:47 am
Kathy, If I could, I’d kiss you right now. was punished by the computer gods on Monday and infected with a virus. No matter where I tried to go on google, I ended up on all these shopping sites.
I bought my grandson a laptop for his birthday and told the salesman I did not need virus protection bc I NEVER get viruses. Wham!
I downloaded spyblaster and got rid of 187 files, but not the malware. Then I downloaded Norton and ran all kinds of scans, deleting all kinds of crap, but the malware was still there. It had reached the point where I could no longer use google.
Then I sa your blog, downloaded malware. It did a simple scan and came up with 5 files that had to be removed. One of them is identified as BAD. I did that and my virus is gone!
Thanks.
BernieOHare´s last blog post ..State House & Senate Candidate Forum This Thursday at NCC
September 30th, 2010 at 7:52 pm
Yup, that is my job too. We run the same thing…. no head lice. You know what gets rid of computer butt cramps? “Cleanup” We use it DAILY on everyone’s pc’s…. the fun part is that when you run it, it makes the sound of a flushing toilet. Sometimes I forget to hit mute before I run it and people crack up. 🙂
Katherine Murray´s last blog post ..You Know Your Car’s Bass Is Loud Enough When
October 7th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Great analogy and pretty darn hilarious re: chopping your head off! 😛
October 11th, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Personally, I have anti-virus programs to help protect my computer and it usually seems to get the job done thankfully. Years ago though my mom would have problems with her stuff and she would want to down right kill the people that did it just like you said. Do they really have nothing better to do than ruin peoples stuff? It’s no different than if they went to someones house and threw a brick through their window. What you said does generally seems to be how people respond to viruses though. =P
April 13th, 2011 at 3:41 pm
MWB Rules!
April 15th, 2011 at 4:40 pm
My ISP provides security and antivirus programs and they seem to work pretty well. Once in a while my computer just hangs when I land on a site and after a few minutes I get a message about a trojan or something that has been quarantined. Still, I’ve bookmarked the Malwarebytes site just in case. Thanks for the info.
Alex´s last blog post ..Five Great Studio Headphones