Travelogue: Norfolk, Virginia
Travel, work October 28th, 2010Hey, peeps! I’m home from a business conference I attended in Norfolk, Virginia. Oh, sweet blog, how I’ve missed you!
Here are some random observations I collected along the way:
1. A garden shed with a crucifix slapped over the door and a hand-painted sign counts as a church in the south.
2. I almost threw my back out unloading pillows from my bed every night. It is possible to have too much comfort and too much poof.
3. If the conference staff puts out chafing dishes every day full of delicious bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs and buttery biscuits, and you get accustomed to it, when they start putting out stuff like this…..
this is how much of it you will take.
4. Apparently, the Tyson plant somewhere in Virginia has a Chicken of the Month award for birds on good behavior. We saw a gaggle of them feeding outside the factory on the front lawn.
If death row chickens knew how to fly at a decent clip, they could, you know, leave.
5. The south doesn’t breed tail-gaters or speeders, and everyone politely lets you into a lane when you need to get there. Unlike in the north, where drivers will sooner shoot out your tires than show you the least bit of courtesy. North, take a lesson.
6. After going insane being on the road for eight hours, when your driving companion leaves your neighborhood to return the rental car, and you follow behind, you will laugh so hard you cry when you see her make the first turn the wrong way and wind up in the suburban abyss for an extra ten minutes it kept her from getting the hell home already.
7. Having a panic attack while riding on a leisure yacht going only 2 knots per hour will get you laughed at by total strangers.
8. Having a conference badge hanging around your neck and swinging off your boobs will get you unintentionally ogled by total strangers trying to read your name and university, printed in teeny tiny typeface.
9. Four cups of coffee in the hotel room the morning of the drive home, plus four more during conference events and one more on the way home is sort of too much. It also gives you the crazy eyes, an unforgiving bladder and lead foot.
10. Coastal cities rock it with the seafood. And so do seafood restaurants.
11. That guy who was stuck to my trunk on Philadelphia’s I-95, in the rain and on a shoulderless stretch, can go to hell. You proved that I had every reason to fear driving on that highway and ruined any chance of me ever attempting it again.
12. Southern hospitality is alive and well. When your fat ass knocks over a dozen formerly organized pashmina scarves from a display in a gift shop — not once, but twice — the cashier will apologize to you for the incidents. You will feel like a dumb northerner and pray she doesn’t have a blog of her own.
I’m glad to be back! Missed you guys!
Stumble it!
October 28th, 2010 at 8:40 am
Glad to have you back, Kathy! And I’m sorry you didn’t get cake for breakfast, just veg. 🙂
Jenn of Many Cabbages´s last blog post ..Object Identification from Cat’s Perspective
October 28th, 2010 at 8:56 am
Welcome back, Kathy!
I was wondering were you were.
I’ve always wanted to visit Virginia, but never knew it took EIGHT hours to get there – OMG!
Loved the “We serve crabs…but prefer pleasant people”
HAHHAHAHAHHHAHA!
Missed ya, girl!
X
Ron´s last blog post ..quotAlright Mr. DeMille Im ready for my closeupquot
October 28th, 2010 at 8:59 am
I agree about the Southern courtesy and hospitality. You don’t realize how much to miss it until you go back to the South. Oh, and no, Maryland is not the South!
Shadowsrider´s last blog post ..Birth order does it matter
October 28th, 2010 at 9:14 am
That sure is some free range chicken. Tyson must be trying to humor the people who believe chickens should get to walk around and be happy. They are probably robots.
I do miss the south for the reasons you mention. I do not miss the million hours it took to get out of the grocery because they are so damned slow at the registers, checking to make sure you’re doin’ all right. BUt yeah, the drivers. I never noticed how polite they were. And just how rude I am. No, you MAY NOT pull out in front of me, ever. Nope. You may let me out, but I will not let you out. And I will be very mad when you sneak out and push your way in. I am northern born and bred. I can’t help it.
Love those asinine conference tags. The foreign language conference I go to usually has your name twice which is so dumb and they give a badge that has a pocket so you can hold things in it. It’s like walking around with a purse on your chest.
October 28th, 2010 at 9:15 am
How strange. It’s the other way around in the UK. People are generally rude, unhelpful and unfriendly in the South, but in the North they are friendly, helpful and always ready for a chat.
Panic attack on the yacht? I may have had one before getting on it!
Glad you had a good time, and you did, if only for the bacon!
Babs – beetle´s last blog post ..Man in the sky
October 28th, 2010 at 9:25 am
RE: #1- Yup, they are all over. #5. Obviously you did not drive the Beltway/Northern Virginia #7: Did that BEFORE getting on boat. Tourists stared open mouth, we got our money back. #10: Sort of a standard sign. A seafood restaurant where I used to live in VA had a sign that said “We serve shrimps, a few crabs, tall people and a lot of nice people too”.
But all in all, I really like Virginia – a lot. Southern hospitality is alive and well and I always liked being called “Miss Grace”.
Grace´s last blog post ..Conversation
October 28th, 2010 at 9:54 am
Just like Babs says it’s opposite here – here in Southern Ontario, people are just full of themselves unlike in Northern Canada where people tend to be welcoming and look out for one another.
When I was in Labrador two weeks ago, I was surprised that tea is more favoured than coffee over there – I felt like a real outsider during breakfast – me with strong coffee and the roughnecked miners and contractors demanding more sugared tea.
But then Newfoundlanders are proud of their English heritage.
October 28th, 2010 at 10:35 am
Just looks awesome,some days I’ll definitely visit there. Traveling seems so good.
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October 28th, 2010 at 10:41 am
Ah you were in our town! We’ve very fond of it here. 🙂
Genie´s last blog post ..The rainbow connection
October 28th, 2010 at 11:12 am
Welcome back! Glad you enjoyed your trip–I would have been embarrassed if you had found the south lacking in hospitality. So, should I conclude from your post that the rude drivers up north are much worse than southern rude drivers? ‘Cuz driving here (in Kentucky) often makes me want to injure one of the jerks who just zoomed up a turn lane to cut me off. If I ever head up north, I think I probably shouldn’t drive.
absepa´s last blog post ..I only come here seeking knowledge
October 28th, 2010 at 11:51 am
My hometown!! Thanks for your kind words. Norfolk is so beautiful. Can’t wait to return!
October 28th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
Welcome back! Only you would complain about too many pillows! (interesting fact: I first typed “peoples” instead of “pillows.”) ANYway, I very much enjoyed your lovely travelogue but would’ve preferred some money shots of bacon mountains instead of that awful vegetable thing. Brrrr.
We missed you! Congrats on surviving the death-yacht and the drive there and back.
JD at I Do Things´s last blog post ..I Was Saved By Firemen so you don’t have to be
October 28th, 2010 at 12:55 pm
Sounds like an, um, interesting trip. And having relatives in the south, I would agree that courtesy is much more common than north of the Mason-Dixon line.
If that still even exists. The line, I mean.
Knucklehead!´s last blog post ..Waking Up Just Got a Whole Lot Tougher
October 28th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Sounds like you had fun on your trip. I completely agree with you that southern drivers are way better than their northern counterparts. I currently live in New Jersey and the drivers here are so unbelievably aggressive. Boy I miss Georgia
October 28th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Absolutely hilarious post. I was falling out of my chair after the “chicken of the month” part. I’ve never been one for extended road trips and tailgaters never help. I’m right with you concerning the carrot platter. Our plates would look very similar in that circumstance.
October 28th, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Jenn — Well, I did have my own little junk food stash in my hotel room, so I made sure I had as much sugar every day as I had bacon.
Ron — It’s great to be back! Well, six hours if you don’t stop to pee or have any traffic congestion whatsoever or blink. Missed you too, Ron!
Shadowsrider — I could so easily get comfy down south. It’s such a pleasant change from Pennsylvania. We’re a cranky bunch!
sparkling74 — Maybe so. It just looked so funny to see these fatso chickens pecking around out front. Cracked me the hell up. I’d never leave the south if I was from there. I have nothing to complain about there except what I imagine is impossible heat in the summer. It was interesting to watch the traffic “personality” change gradually as we got more north. Incredible the difference. About the badges, I was so mad I didn’t figure out til the last day that my iTouch AND cell phone fit nicely in the pocket. I would have been glad to use it as a purse because I got so annoyed digging into mine every 20 minutes to check for mail and msgs. D’oh!
Babs Beetle — So interesting about your neck of the woods. Either way, there seems to be a dividing line in places between nice people and people you want to throw a brick at. I was ok getting on the yacht. I told my dinner mates I might have a problem when it started to move and then promptly did.
Grace — I know there must be bad places to drive in the south, but I was pleasantly surprised by our route. I kept saying “OMG. They’re so nice here! I don’t want to go home!” That’s a cute sign you saw, too. I bought a baseball cap that says “Don’t bother me, I’m crabby” on the top. Total truth, most of the time. I used to have a young woman work for me years ago. She was from South Carolina and called everyone sir or ma’am (she said she was brought up to say that to older men and women). It bothered a guy I worked with so much that he wanted her to stop. I refused to ask her to do that. My God, can’t people just enjoy all that respect and niceness?? Lord knows we don’t get enough of that.
Jaffer — I love the division of attitudes all around the world, but I wish it was all nice, all the time, everywhere. I know, wishful thinking. Sugared tea? That’s criminal! But yeah, you can’t break tea drinkers of their tea habits or they’ll cut you.
Dawn Le — It was a wonderful place to be, but I just wish I’d been there for a vacation and not work!
Genie — Thank everyone for me, will ya? You guys rock!
absepa — The problem in the north is tailgating. I never found that a problem below Delaware. Couldn’t believe it. It felt so strange and wonderful to me. Every single day I experience a tailgater at least a half dozen times. It makes you hate driving here. Don’t come here unless someone else familiar with this hell drives you. Your head would spin if you tried it without practice and I’m ashamed to say you’d go home and have a whole different kind of post to write about us.
Saharah — I really loved it. Whole different attitude. Such friendliness and a kind word at every turn. A person can really get used to that. Be proud of your hometown!
JD — Yep, only me! PEOPLES! You’re right, I should have lavished you with pictures of the bacon goodness. So much every day, unlimited supply. And don’t you just love it when they bring out a fresh new batch? I wanted a giant set of tongs, but had to make do with using the little ones many times over until or unless someone told me to stop hogging the hog.
Knucklehead! — So what makes it like that down there? Is it the sun, cuz I think if we had more sun here, maybe we wouldn’t want to kill people all the time, no?
Ottomans — I was terrified on I-95 and I-476. Terrified. I know my driving partner was probably scared shitless, but she never let on. She just kept quiet while I clutched the wheel and prayed. I think I made it through OK because she had just bought her SIL a cute little angel knick knack at a Stuckeys in Virginia. I felt like I had divine intervention to get me through it.
Nutrition Degree — SQUAAAAWK! We wondered if the chickens were pets or something. Weird. I hate tailgaters more than anything because I’m always afraid they’re actually going to smash into me, especially when I make turns. It’s like “Dude, you can’t wait 2.5 seconds for me to get the hell out of your way?” What is wrong with people? Are we that angry all the time? And where do we have to get so damn fast? Geesh! I didn’t let one healthy thing pass my lips for four days. Not one.
October 28th, 2010 at 5:46 pm
You stayed at the Norfolk Waterside Marriott, didn’t you? Nice hotel…I knocked over the pashminas too.
I refused to get on the boat.
October 28th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Very amusing insights, and I must say that despite all those pillows that bed looks super comfy.
Glad you’re back blogging!
Emily Suess´s last blog post ..What You Need to Network
October 28th, 2010 at 6:12 pm
Welcome back! Did you stay at a Marriott? I was at a Marriott this week for a training conference over in Boston (Bahston), and there were at least that many pillows on my bed, too. Good grief! I didn’t take pictures of the bed, but I did take pictures of the strange amoire that was deeper on the right side than the left. It just looked totally wrong.
Kelly´s last blog post ..Cat Tails
October 28th, 2010 at 7:55 pm
OMG this cracked me up! The chickens slayed me. That hotel room looks heavenly and whoever it was who apologized for your ass better not have a blog, she’d be too funny with all the blog fodder she probably sees.
Glad you made it home safely.
Jen´s last blog post ..Bitch- Bitch- Bitch
October 28th, 2010 at 7:55 pm
I’m glad you are back! Did you know that I lived in Virginia for a little over a year? It is true. I liked it there because we had a fireplace. We did not have a lot of pillows though. Harley has only ever lived in Florida. He is not very worldly.
I think you were smart to avoid all those yucky carrots.
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog post ..Is It Halloween Yet
October 29th, 2010 at 9:04 am
Ha! Love the shot of all the pillows… that was one of the things I LOVED about my very own room, king size bed and big screen TV while in Dallas last week. I could hog them all and no one was around to complain. 😉
Glad you had a great trip!
Maureen´s last blog post ..The Thrill Of Victory And The Agony Of Defeat
October 29th, 2010 at 11:41 am
The Westin used to do those pillows. Overkill. Still, it was a comfortable bed. The South is different. I like some things about it, other things not so much.
Linda Medrano´s last blog post ..The Fan In the Too Tight Shirt
October 29th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Re #5: Ditto for the West Coast. Glad to have you back.
October 29th, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Sheila — Yep, Waterside Marriott. Very impressive. Gorgeous staircase in the lobby and a really cool piano room upstairs. It was exceptional, given the low room price. The pashminas need to hang on a bar, not lay on a table, just sayin’.
Emily Suess — The bed was awesome, though a little soft for my liking. Still, slept like a rock every night. And damn if I could buy a king size bed before I die. Want!
Kelly — Yep, Marriott. Much more than I expected from them. It’s incumbent on all of us to take pictures of hotel rooms, especially before we get the all funked up.
Jen — That’s why I love the “Confessions of a Cashier” blog. She gets awesome blog fodder every single day she works.
Daisy the Curly Cat — I did not remember that, Daisy. Boy, you get around for a kitteh, don’t you? I bet you wish you had a fireplace in Florida, even though you would never use it. A fireplace should always have a cat curled up in front of it.
Maureen — It’s glorious, isn’t it? Even though my trip was for work, it’s always a treat to come back to a perfectly clean hotel room and settle down with some food I should have on a bed I don’t deserve.
Linda Medrano — Seriously. I just feel bad for the housekeeping workers who have to move them all to make the freaking bed. Probably why I left a $25 tip for only four nights’ stay.
Jeanie — Do you mean you have nice drivers on the west coast? That surprises me, given what I hear about the driving there. God bless ’em.
October 29th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Churches aren’t really like that, and those that are are Holy Roller churches that most people don’t go to. There are always those that do obviously, but most of us keep the hell out of them. The majority of churches here are everywhere, true, but most of them are really nice buildings.
Pillows are…yeah. When I go up North I have to ask for more since they think one thin pillow is enough. It’s not.
The veggie tray is funny. We eat a lot of food down here, but everywhere I have ever gone we had a veggie tray and most people took some from it. We eat what’s put in front of us.
The chickens: no self respecting Southerner would visit a chicken. We all know the only good chicken is dead, breaded and fried.
You can tell you aren’t from here.
October 30th, 2010 at 4:32 am
Conference buffets should serve bacon and eggs at all meals, because, well, it’s bacon and eggs!! Plus, it’s really difficult to do other things well in chafing dishes for hundreds of people (though The GF did report some great experiences with buffet mashed potatoes cooked in bacon grease).
Cromely´s last blog post ..Fig Newtons Vs Fat Free Fig Newtons
October 30th, 2010 at 11:01 pm
HYSTERICAL. I LIVE in Norfolk VA. Yup yup I sure know that Spirit of Norfolk. In Norfolk, they want to kill all drivers.. just look at the road construction and pot holes. That’s my two cents. Yes, our seafood DOES rock. Did you get to see the beach? Wish I had known you were here!!!
Katherine´s last blog post ..Dog Training Fail
October 31st, 2010 at 4:01 pm
Sew Ducky — Yeah, I had to wonder what size congregation those tiny churches really have. Some of them were not even the size of one-room school houses. Did see some really nice grand-looking churches, too. “We all know the only good chicken is dead, breaded and fried.” LMAO and amen, sister.
Cromely — I would not object to that. And what’s this about mashed potatoes fried in bacon grease? Where would I find such a thing? Better yet, why didn’t I think of it myself? I think I might have to put that on my Thanksgiving dinner menu.
Katherine — Oh, my dear you do not know Pennsylvania roads then. I found yours to be an absolute delight! I didn’t get to the beach, only down to the dock by the Spirit of Norfolk. Saw a gorgeous sunset there and thought to myself how lucky people are who live by the water.
November 1st, 2010 at 12:31 pm
How dare they start serving vegetables!
Bring back the bacon!
Oh and I think #5 was my favorite on the list. ‘The North’ could REALLY stand to learn that lesson.
Welcome Home Kathy.
You’ve been sorely missed!
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post ..Doing Things Differently- Again…
November 2nd, 2010 at 9:22 pm
Welcome Back. The south is changing, Texas is slowly losing all of its pleasantness.
I feel for you on knocking stuff down, I do it all the time at work and I swear it is because the store is too small. lol
November 7th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
I live about a half mile from the Spirit of Norfolk you have pictured above. The south is a strange land indeed.
July 15th, 2011 at 2:44 am
Oh! How much I miss traveling now! Sure want to be here someday!
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