Week in Review
embarrassing, Stupid things I do, Windy, work November 5th, 2010A co-worker of mine sneezes so violently I’m afraid his spleen may come flying out one of these days. And it startles me every time. I told him “Geez, dude. Ring a bell before you do that.” Was that rude of me? I think it was a little bit rude.
I went to a church bazaar at lunch with another co-worker this week. It was their last day, so they handed us grocery bags and said “Anything you can fit in this bag is one dollar.” So we loaded our bags with a lot of stuff and paid our dollar on the way out, thinking all the while “We really should pay more than a dollar. This doesn’t feel right.” When we left, the handle of my co-worker’s bag came off, the bag fell to the floor and broke her ceramic bundt pan. Clearly, Jesus would have wanted us to give more generously.
I went to my credit union to deposit a check. While signing paperwork at the table near the teller windows, I dropped a pile of deposit slips, the flip-calendar thingy and then my purse, and I hit my head on the corner of the table picking up all the dropped items. A clerk sitting at a nearby desk rolled her eyes at me. I’ll give you an eye roll, lady. To add insult to injury, the ink in the pen chained to the table ran out. Tuesday was not a good day for me.
Those who follow me on Facebook know now that my husband puts mayonnaise on everything. This week he put it on pizza. Commence vomiting.
The reporter from NPR who interviewed me on-air about Windy the Plastic Bag emailed me Monday to ask how she was doing up in her tree. That both cracked me up and warmed my heart. Incidentally, when all the leaves on Windy’s tree come down, I’ll post new pictures of her. What’s left, that is.
Someone in my blog audience got her first boyfriend and she stopped commenting here. I miss her. But her boyfriend adores her, as well he should, and so it’s all good. But still. Sniff. Pass me a tissue.
The student assistant who works in my office is 6’ 4” tall. It means that he can see over the partition to my cubicle. He’s caught me more than once doing something I shouldn’t by peering over it to ask a last minute question. So now whenever I’m shoveling, say, six miniature Halloween candy bars in my face, I have to make sure he’s really gone before I begin another session wherein I disgust myself for all I can eat in one sitting.
I know I made a co-worker green with envy when she watched me back my car into a parking space in one quick, perfect action. I’m an excellent back-in-parker-inner. Admit it. You’re jealous, too.
Hope you guys had a good week! Don’t forget to turn your clocks ahead on Sunday. Or is it back? Whatever. Just turn it whatever way you feel and hope for the best.
Stumble it!
November 5th, 2010 at 6:16 pm
That student assistant sounds annoying. I think I’d have to flunk him out just on principle.
flit´s last blog post ..Do I REALLY need a Phd
November 5th, 2010 at 6:29 pm
I drove a fabulous Delta ’88 that was a ’82 but the year was ’95. That thing was a magic carpet. It LOVED to parallel park itself. I had to do it all the time, and I nailed it every time, with room to spare. I’ve never had another vehicle respond so nicely. You would have loved it, clearly!
November 5th, 2010 at 6:51 pm
Sometimes I not only make Mo jump, but I make the cats run when I sneeze. Mo says I do it on purpose, but I honestly don’t.
This 6’4″ student should be taught that you don’t peer over cubicle partitions at people, especially when they’re prone to stuffing food into their mouth in unnatural quantities 😉
Babs – beetle´s last blog post ..I am charmed again
November 5th, 2010 at 6:59 pm
Looking forward to seeing Windy!
Cats~Goats~Quotes´s last blog post ..Dona nobis pacem Noah and Miss Emily
November 5th, 2010 at 7:51 pm
My Mommeh sort of holds her sneezes in so they are not very loud, but I am skerred it might make her eyeballs fly out one day. All that pressure has to go somewhere! Whenever bad things happen one week, that means the next week will be a good one. So you are due for a good week coming up!
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog post ..A Late Halloween Treat
November 5th, 2010 at 9:19 pm
Let’s hope that candy scarfing is the only thing the student catches you at…oy, I have horrible flashbacks to when my company moved to new offices and my new office was glass-walled. Took me a while to get used it but not before I inadvertently entertained most of the office
Grace´s last blog post ..Surprise Lin- I did the award thingy!
November 5th, 2010 at 10:36 pm
Love this post!!! Where do I begin? God wanted your CO-WORKER to donate more. OR she is cheating on her husband with the mailroom guy – you pick. I can’t wait to see Windy. I can’t imagine mayo on my pizza, and you ROCK driving. Can you do that with a truck?
November 6th, 2010 at 12:25 am
I would say more but I’m so tired I feel I will say something stupid. Sunday it’s ‘fall fallback’ so we lose a hour of sleep. Boo
November 6th, 2010 at 12:29 am
As I picked up the loads of leaves falling from our trees today, I wondered about Windy. Makes me wonder about myself. As I read your last paragraph, my heart sank. I had been looking forward all week to an extra hour of sleep. Then I realized that you did not really know, (and of course admitted), what you were talking about. Thank goodness. Now I can start worrying about losing that hour of sleep next spring….
Will´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday 11-3-2010
November 6th, 2010 at 3:58 am
flit — Nah, I’m thinking being 6′ 4″ would be annoying at times. Incidentally, he’s one of the best student workers we’ve ever had. I just can’t figure out how to get him to not graduate so we can have him forever.
sparkling74 — I love when people share heart-felt car memories! Now, parallel parking is another matter for me. I’m so bad at it, I scratched the hell out of my right front hubcap two weeks ago when I seriously misjudged the distance to the curb. I dumb.
Babs Beetle — You have to give a warning! His peering into the cube is rather comical. It kills me that he’s tall enough to see over it. They’re the tallest cube walls I’ve ever seen. There’s also another person (a professor) who’s tall enough to look over. Luckily, he doesn’t pay us visits very often.
Cats Goats Quotes — Us too! A couple of us in my building keep checking the tree, but dammit if those leaves aren’t hanging on for dear life. There are other trees in the court yard who lost their leaves long ago. But Windy’s is stubborn. Stay tuned!
Daisy the Curly Cat — Tell your mommeh that Dr. Daisy says eyeballs are better left in one’s head. It’s good advice. I think I got my bad week out of my system. Except I hate daylight saving time. It messes me up for a couple days after. Poo!
Grace — There’s a glass-walled office on the 3rd floor of our building. They call it The Fish Bowl. I would hate to work inside the room because you will never, ever get people to stop looking into it as they walk by. It must be annoying for them.
Katherine — No, I cannot do that with a truck. Nor an I promise I wouldn’t run people over if I tried. It only works with my small Civic. All bets are off with other vehicles. Windy can’t wait to be seen.
Monica Lynne — Oh, never worry about that. I say stupid things here all the time. Indeed, it’s the basis for my blog, but you knew that.
Will — I love that people think of her at odd times. She would be so pleased to know that. Who knew 60 minutes could be so important. For some reason, the older I get, the more that hour’s loss means to me. I have a sad.
November 6th, 2010 at 4:57 am
“To add insult to injury, the ink in the pen chained to the table ran out. ”
Wait…You’ve encountered chained up pens that HAVE ink in the past??? I thought the ink drained out the pen to make the force that binds the chain — you know, with like physics or something.
I’m convinced that post office and bank pens exist solely to scratch and tear paper as hapless customer hope against hope that there might might be a drop of ink not yet sucked up by the vampiric chain.
Cromely´s last blog post ..Freeze a hard drive to recover data
November 6th, 2010 at 5:35 am
One of the qualities I inherited from my father is that we both sneeze and scare people. Neither of us sneeze more than once and we don’t sneeze often, so when we do sneeze, it’s for real. (My daughter has tiny, are you kidding me, type sneezes. She sounds like a little baby and she usually does about 4 or 5 in a row.) I don’t think you were rude since I totally understand where you were coming from. I kind of think of mine as the tsunami of sneezes. I shall discuss this with my dad (he’s 86) and I will let you know if he thinks we should warn people ahead of time. He is beginning to have memory issues, so even if we decide we should warn people, he won’t remember…but we can discuss it over and over and enjoy our conversations. He would love you, he enjoys funny.
I am planning on going to a church sale today that both my parents are working at. My mom wrote me that people actually PUSHED them out of the way to grab things. My mom, who’s 88, and my dad were manning the book table. It must have been a very tough crowd, because I would not even begin to think about pushing my mother around…Yeah, I would say that you and your friend were not listening and got some bad karma. I will be sure to be generous…though she said all the good stuff was gone. However, my idea of good is different from hers. I like quirky and she sees junk, so it just may be my lucky day.
November 6th, 2010 at 6:13 am
Kathy, surely God is not punishing you for only spending a dollar AT A CHURCH, when you KNOW you should have left AT LEAST a few bucks more? Don’t worry, God will smote you…when you least expect it (next time you try to back in a parking space). I, on the other hand, am an excellent left side of the street parallel parker, having done it every weekday for 15 years. Oh no, God is going to smote me for bragging. AAARrgggHHH! Here it comes!
November 6th, 2010 at 7:12 am
I used to sit in the last in a row of cubicles. Since hardly anyone ever walked by, I could adjust my bra straps, stuff candy in my maw, or engage in any other type of embarrassing activity without being caught. Now I sit out in the open, AND I’m the first person everyone sees when they walk in our office. It was a tough adjustment.
Can you give parking lessons? I would be totally willing to come to PA. I am the world’s suckiest parker.
absepa´s last blog post ..Tonight I’m not takin’ no calls
November 6th, 2010 at 9:14 am
Bryan does that sneezing thing too; its like a 150 decibel ‘HAI’….it sounds like it should have been uttered by a Samurai who just cut a VW Bus in half.
Lately I’ve been very anti-‘provided pen’. Because EVERYONE touches it. I just whip out my own– no chain, it always works, and it is unbesmirched by anyone’s sketchy hygeine.
Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog post ..202-549
November 6th, 2010 at 9:59 am
The car backing in thing? Not jealous… I can do it to! 😉 Also? Parallel parking? I’ve gotten standing ovations. Apparently, parallel parking is not a skill most people in the Capital District of NY possess. In fact, I may be the only one up here who can do it well.
November 6th, 2010 at 10:31 am
I thought about Windy lately. Can’t remember why. I hope she’s fine and “hanging in there”. Winter’s coming and that can’t be a good time for her. I’m just glad you weren’t re-arranging your pantyhose when the young dude peered over the top of your cubicle. But I’d imagine he wouldnn’t have minded.
Linda Medrano´s last blog post ..Why I Wont Have A Face Lift
November 6th, 2010 at 11:17 am
“back-in-parker-inner” gave me a laugh. Can I use it? I’m pretty good at that game, too.
Wine makes me sneeze…geez, I hope I’m not allergic! That would make for some serious unhappiness!
Lisa´s last blog post ..Disappointing Others
November 6th, 2010 at 12:06 pm
LOL, I just pictured that part about your co-worker peering over the partition and seeing you packing your face with chocolate bars and it made me laugh out loud. Funny stuff. 😛
November 6th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
That’s really cool about NPR, uncool about mayonnaise on pizza.
You need to put a bell around 6’4″ guy’s neck or a box of Tic-Tacs in his pocket. Can you install an alarm system in your cubicle or add a second floor?
Lauren´s last blog post ..A Recycled Post or Blog Compost
November 6th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
You’ve had a busy week! Mayonnaise on a pizza is just gross – but ranch dressing as a pizza dip is delicious. Where do we draw the line? Hmmm..
And can’t wait to see an update of Windy – I can’t believe she’s still up there!
Katie´s last blog post ..Our New Apartment! Almost!
November 6th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Sorry you bumped your head and then that lady rolled her eyes at you. How mean of her! Thanks for the clock reminder–I was going to mention that on my blog today but forgot.
We bought AAA batteries this morning and when we put away our groceries, couldn’t find them. I KNOW I put them in the little white bag with the AA batteries and a dog bone. What happened to them?
Karen and Gerard´s last blog post ..8 Things I Learned This Week 94 Blog Frog- impact- winner- publishing- book- Swift- dogs
November 6th, 2010 at 5:34 pm
I personally think sneezing that loudly is rude and you should be able to say so at work. And maybe if you had taller cubicles or private offices (gasp!) instead of cubicles altogether, you would be much happier at work. You may tell your boss I said so.
I’m sorry you had such a weird week–I had a pretty good one–I got a new boyfriend walking the office mail over to the post office! Sure my husband had a good chuckle over it, but hey, when you got it, you got it. So, I’m just saying that getting a new boyfriend is absolutely no reason to quit commenting on your favorite blogs. I have a husband and Darryl-my-new-boyfriend now and I STILL commented. See?!
(Uh–I did tell Darryl that I was married when he asked me, so I think he broke up with me right then and there.) 🙁
Lin´s last blog post ..Fired Up
November 6th, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Yes, people do tend to get jealous when one can back into a parking spot on the first try. Some people can’t back their cars up at all, as proven by this moron who nearly ran me over today in the JC Penney parking lot. This was probably because he just saw me back my truck into a narrow space between two SUVs. Hmm.
November 6th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
Oh, Kathy, I love your rude, cheap, clumsy, married-to-a-gross-guy, cracked-up, sniffling, candy-shoveling, super-back-in-parker-inner self!!
😉
November 6th, 2010 at 7:33 pm
Hey! That’s not why I stopped commenting! I still read all your posts 😀 I just stopped thinking of witty things to comment.
November 7th, 2010 at 7:25 am
Cromely — I know! And of course I was mad I didn’t have my own pen. I normally have one so I don’t have to touch where other people have put their disgusting fingers. I did Tuesday all wrong last week.
Sue — You must teach your daughter how to mean it when she sneezes, or her eyeballs will fall out. I love your dad already. Most of what the church had left on the tables was junk, but I did get some quirky items. I think they just wanted to get the stuff outta there so they wouldn’t have to toss it. If some fights broke out, well then, so be it.
Lynski — I know! We should have at least paid the price that was on the stickers for each item, which wasn’t much to begin with, but still. You win today’s award for best comment since you used the word “smote” not once, but twice. Awesome.
absepa — So you know what I do at my desk then? Somehow one of “the sisters” got loose last week, so I had to make an adjustment. I always pray no one is sneaking up on me, but then, you get what you deserve if you don’t make yourself known. Yes, I give lessons. And I don’t even charge.
Shieldmaiden — Holy crap. The “blunt” sneezers are the worst. I’m anti-provided pen, too, but on that day I’d forgotten my own funk-free pen. In winter, it’s not so bad because I keep my gloves on.
Kelly — I’m jealous of your parallel parking prowess. Too many variables and I can’t do it quickly and and carefully if someone is waiting for me. Too much pressure to perform. Good on you!
Linda Medrano — I’m missing Windy. The leaves on her tree are hanging on longer than any other tree in the courtyard. The suspense is killing me. And pantyhose? Luckily I got off that wheel years ago. Haven’t work a skirt to work since 2003. Love. It. In fact, one of the reasons I stopped is because I’m often on the floor setting up PCs and I have to lie down sometimes to get at plugs and whatnot. The last day I wore a skirt was the time a professor stood over me, watching me do my work, while the slit in my skirt came open and I figured he got an eyeful. Enough was enough!
Lisa — Oh, by all means, use it! That’s funny about the wine. Reminds me of the time I took a sip of peach schnaps and sneezed. It came out my nose. Hurt like hell.
KellyT — When it happens, I just pretend he doesn’t see it. I live of a life of denial. Works for me.
Lauren — Yeah, I was just thinking I should build some kind of extension, so it goes all the way to the ceiling. Also, I need a bell or something like they have at courtesy counters. People have been known to sneak up on me in my cubicle. Some knock, but most don’t.
Katie — Ranch dressing on pizza? I would never in a million years think of doing that. So it’s good? I promise to try it. Yeah, Windy’s there, I’m sure. But only strips of her. You wouldn’t know she’d ever been a bag to look at her.
Karen and Gerard — I thought she would at least smile at me, but she didn’t. But then, I can imagine what I looked like. She probably thought I was breaking all their stuff. Did you find your batteries yet?
Lin — Don’t even start me on offices. I used to have one before management (not my boss, someone else) relegated us to a big room and erected partitions. I hate it like you wouldn’t believe. I really can’t talk about how much I hate it. Gets my blood pressure up. So was that Darryl’s shortest term relationship or what?
Kim — See what you did? You made him jealous and clearly the only way to show you how cocky you are is to kill you.
Ferd — Oh, Ferd! I loved your comment! You made my day!
Regan — Ha! I got you to come out of your comment slumber! I knew I could do it. And, girl, you always have witty things to say, even when you don’t think they are. I’m glad you commented.
November 7th, 2010 at 7:51 am
Installing PCs wearing a skirt… this is the exact reason I stopped wearing skirts, too. In fact, that’s also why I stopped wearing anything except jeans to work. I stopped installing PCs and starting working strictly on stay-in-my-chair-except-for-when-I_have-to-go-into-the-server-room jobs three years ago. I still don’t wear skirts. Come to think of it, I still don’t wear nice pants either.
About the parallel parking… my daughter has been trying to get me to teach her how to parallel park. I’m resisting, mostly because I have a hard time explaining just exactly how I do it. But if I do manage to teach her, I’ll start giving lessons.
Kelly´s last blog post ..CF 10
November 7th, 2010 at 6:33 pm
Well, your week was a helluva more interesting than mine, which was dominated by a lot of head-banging and pulling the covers over my head. 😉
November 7th, 2010 at 7:26 pm
“I told him “Geez, dude. Ring a bell before you do that.” Was that rude of me? I think it was a little bit rude.”
No way, I don’t think that was rude of you at all! My brother sneezes the same way and it scares the CRAP out of me when let’s them go! OMG…he can literally SHAKE THE HOUSE with his sneezes!
“I’m an excellent back-in-parker-inner.”
You GO, girl! And yes…I’m jealous!
Hope you had a super weekend, Kath! Aren’t you lovin’ this cooler weather?
Ron´s last blog post ..Do you wanna hear about my mornings
November 7th, 2010 at 8:59 pm
I wish I’d read this yesterday BEFORE the daylight saving time change.
I believe I have achieved a new level of disgust and/or respect for your husband with the mayonnaise thing.
Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog post ..Goat Thing of the Day- No Goats
November 7th, 2010 at 10:12 pm
Please tell me that your “I’ll give you an eye roll” comment was used in your OUT LOUD voice!! What a week!!
Grandy´s last blog post ..Too Much TimeNo Money Makeovers
November 7th, 2010 at 10:43 pm
Oh Kathy! This was such a GREAT post.
* I do NOT think you were rude by telling that co-worker to give you a warning before you get scared to death by those sneezes. That eye-roll lady at the credit union was rude.
* At least YOUR bag didn’t break when you left the Church bazzar with a bag full of goodies for a dollar.
* I love mayo too. But, um….your husband has really gone too far by putting it on his pizza.
* Cant wait to see the new Windy photos!
* I dont think getting a ‘boyfriend’ will EVER prevent ME from commenting here!
*And yes, I am very jealous if you back-in-parker-inner skillz!
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post ..Wow ‘Nice’ Vanity Plate
November 8th, 2010 at 11:32 am
Well, I think this is my first visit here, and I like what you’ve done with the place… I don’t have a boyfriend but I promise if I do get one, I will still pop by. Just, you know, not while we’re doing stuff.
November 8th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
Sorry about your commenter. That sux when a cool commenter stops commenting. At least you know why though.
I lived in Chicago on the north side for 17 years and it didn’t take me long to become a “professional” parallel parker. My son is learning to drive and last night he was having angst over learning to parallel park. We were talking about it on the ride home. He doesn’t know his mom is a pro. Lol!
Lola´s last blog post ..Always The DumpeeNow The Dumper
November 8th, 2010 at 2:06 pm
@Lola… I lived on Chicago’s north side, too! And of course, that’s where I got my mad parallel parking skillz.
Kelly´s last blog post ..CF 11
November 8th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Great post, Kathy !! I think you should change banks. And the student asst needs to stop peering over. Oh, and you should give parallel parking lessons on your lunch hour.
November 8th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Hilarious! I laughed out loud, definitely laughing WITH you, not AT you…. We’ve all had these weeks, and you make us feel less like “Is it me??” 🙂
Vikki´s last blog post ..Lovin’ the Dashboard Lights
November 8th, 2010 at 5:08 pm
Kelly — I’m exactly like you. Jeans and don’t want to leave my desk for anything unless absolutely necessary. That is why I love the remote access software we use. It also keeps my hands off people’s computers during cold season. I think there is a gene for parallel parking. You either have it or you don’t.
injaynesworld — Going out into the world is dangerous. That’s all I’m sayin’.
Ron — I’m going to buy him one of those desk bells that they have on courtesy counters. Then he can ring it when he plans to sneeze out his spleen. I am indeed lovin’ this weather. It’s made for you and me, dude!
Nanny Goats — Yeah, except I GOT IT WRONG! Please, under no circumstances should you pay attention to anything I say here. Got it? As for the mayo, Dave would appreciate either one. He knows he’s a freak.
Grandy — If only. I sort of gave her an “I know” look in return. Truly, I’m a mess.
meleah rebeccah — Thank you, my dear. Glad you got a kick out of it. My bag was safe! I bought a jigsaw puzzle of Ralphie in A Christmas Story, holding his hand up the lamp leg, and wooden outhouse, complete with a tiny roll of toilet paper and a shotgun that hangs inside the door. Cool, huh? I looked for Windy today. I look every day, actually. Cannot wait to see her again!
Fragrant Liar — Welcome, Fragrant! And thanks for not stopping in when you’re “doing stuff” because if you’re “doing stuff,” I’m likely to write about it and you don’t want that.
Lola — Good to see you! She claims she lost her ability to leave witty comments, but I told her that’s hogwash. She’s always witty. Ah! But, see, you have the parallel parking gene, so that means your son will have it too. Tell him not to worry. Go forth and parallel park with confidence!
Kelly — So, is that your only choice in northern Chicago. Parallel? That’s either awesome or it’s not. Can’t decide.
Marlene — But I just started going there! I think I shall only go there when I have my own pen and nothing else to carry. I’m dangerous otherwise. Laughing about the lessons. I can see holding classes, charging for it, and having a big parking graduation ceremony where no one’s allowed to park straight on, but whoever can back in like me gets to be Valedictorian.
Vikki — Sure, sure. That’s what they all say. It’s all right. You can laugh at me. It’s the basis of my life and this here blog.
November 8th, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Back in the day when we were all learning how to type on Macs I had a teacher with a sneeze that sounded like a bomb going off. There would be silence as everyone concentrated on the two-colored monitor and suddenly, without warning, she would explode making all the students jump at the same time.
Mayonnaise on pizza reminds me of the weird pizzas in Japan. I don’t think a corn pizza will become a hot menu item on this side of the ocean.
November 8th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Next time, pay the dollar and donate another. Twice the cash should be good for something.
Karen´s last blog post ..OH- Check It Out!
November 8th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
Hmmm. Yep, with rare exception, if you want to park inside the Chicago city limits, you need to be able to parallel park. On a narrow street with with four-foot snow piles on the curb. While blocking traffic. You either learn… or you move back to the suburbs. 🙂 (If you actually live and work in Chicago, you don’t REALLY need a car. I didn’t buy one until I moved out to the western burbs.)
Kelly´s last blog post ..CF 11
November 11th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
Great. I have the mayonnaise on pizza image in my head again. Maybe this is the way I get over my mayophobia. I picture Dave eating mayo-covered pizza.
Okay, no. It’s the way I vomit on my desk.
But still. I hope your head is better from that corner.
Jenn of Many Cabbages´s last blog post ..Toyota Highlander Geek Family Kid Versus Supernanny Smackdown
November 12th, 2010 at 7:31 am
My mother-in-law also likes to put mayonnaise on pizza, and what’s the worst part of it, I have to eat at least one piece not to seem rude (you know, it’s not my mom, it’s my husbands, so social agreement demands such sacrifices from me). She adores putting some really weird stuff on pizza.
December 27th, 2010 at 4:37 am
Hey your blog is simply awesome lady!!!