Hey, Dad. Don’t Let Mom Read This, OK?
embarrassing, food January 10th, 2011
My parents raised me right, I swear. I’m polite, courteous, respectful of my elders, and have good table manners.
But I will bare my teeth, growl and possibly stab you if you try to take food away from me. Especially if it is my very favorite dessert, The Perkins Chocolate French Silk cream pie.
It’s a treat I allow myself only once or twice a year. It’s a special thing to be preserved and protected, and certainly not wasted, for it is divine.
Which is why when I dropped a slice of it on the floor Saturday, I picked it up, plated it and ate it. The whole sad, malformed blob of it.
I did not cut off the dirty side. The side that probably spells bacterial infection.
Shut up. I did this two days ago and have suffered no ill effects.
The fact that I ate some combination of cat hair, floor wax and outside world dirt proves one thing: Mothers everywhere are all wrong. You can eat off the floor like an animal and survive.
You won’t look at yourself the same way again, but you will survive.
Bon appétit!
Stumble it!
January 10th, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Now, don’t you just feel better getting that off your chest. Good pie is hard to let go so I’m glad you didn’t. Your mom probably has some secrets of her own. Good instincts like that are learned:)
Rachele´s last blog post ..Sausage Squares Recipe
January 10th, 2011 at 6:30 pm
We’re talking Chocolate French Silk Pie. If you DIDN’T do that I would worry!!
The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie
The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie´s last blog post ..ManCat Monday with Tamir
January 10th, 2011 at 6:34 pm
The 5-second rule? It drops to 1-second for pie. Srsly.
Barb @AgingGracefully-ish´s last blog post ..2011 – Chapter 10
January 10th, 2011 at 6:34 pm
That couldn’t happen here… the puppies are way too quick!
Never heard of Chocolate French Silk Pie or any other silk pie neither… sounds like I’m missing something
flit´s last blog post ..Let the games begin
January 10th, 2011 at 6:35 pm
Germs are like tiny weights exercising your immune system and making it stronger. That’s what I tell myself every time I do exactly the same thing and I’m the healthiest person I know.
injaynesworld´s last blog post ..injaynesworld its the Sunday Recap
January 10th, 2011 at 6:53 pm
I said this on Facebook…I think I like you more now that I know you would do such a thing!
Flit…Oh, you MUST try it!
January 10th, 2011 at 6:57 pm
I agree with Jayne. Eating off the floor is probably GOOD for you! If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger! (Just keep telling yourself that.) LOL
BTW, if it was one of my favorite things, I would do the same thing! I would do it for just about anything chocolate!
January 10th, 2011 at 7:08 pm
If kids do it all the time, why can’t we? Way to embrace your inner child, I say!
Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog post ..Hard Drive Crashes- and Other Sources of Joy
January 10th, 2011 at 7:47 pm
Five second rule! And there are some foods that follow something more like the five minute rule. As I like to say, “God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt.” 🙂
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January 10th, 2011 at 8:11 pm
Five second rule definitely applies here, although it may be ten. I dropped a hamburger on the floor while flipping it on the jenn air grill. I have bad aim. The burger fell apart when it hit the floor. The top separated from the bottom, leaning precariously closer to the floor. So, I scooped up the top half before it toppled over and plopped it back onto the grill. The bottom half remained on the floor like the launch platform on the moon. I threw it away because grease is a dog hair magnet. I didn’t want to scrub it with a Brillo pad before plating it.
Lauren´s last blog post ..Disappearing Jobs Linked to Magic Cape Missing from Homeland Security Rec Room
January 10th, 2011 at 8:20 pm
Yay! You finally confessed! And Kathy, I would have done the same thing. Yanno, as long as you picked it up in time for the ‘Five Second Rule.’
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January 10th, 2011 at 8:23 pm
5 second rule! If you pick it up before 5 seconds you are good to go!
January 10th, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Hey, if it didn’t violate the 10 second rule, I don’t see what the problem is.
Lanita´s last blog post ..Tomato Soup – A Cautionary Tale
January 10th, 2011 at 8:29 pm
I’m betting that just about everyone does this even if they swear that they never would and pretend to be totally grossed out by the whole thing
Ann´s last blog post ..Weekend part 2
January 10th, 2011 at 9:46 pm
Five second rule? When it comes to chocolate, all that matters is getting it before anybody else, and that includes pets and kids.
In our family, Mrs C prefers the Chocolate Dream from Carabba’s. (And I have a bite or two as well.)
Chris Casey´s last blog post ..The Murphys Law of Housecleaning if you own dogs
January 10th, 2011 at 10:08 pm
Considering that Chocolate French Silk pie is uncooked, except for the pie shell, and you are therefore eating raw eggs, from which you can get one helluva interesting disease, I don’t suppose scooping it up off the floor could do too much more damage…I made one of these once – I wouldn’t touch it but my husband scarfed the whole thing…
Grace´s last blog post ..Maybe tomorrow
January 11th, 2011 at 12:04 am
Aha! the 5 second rule indeed! This just mean that you will do anything for the one (food) you love!
RonLeyba´s last blog post ..UFC 125 Resolution Frankie Edgar vs Gray Maynard
January 11th, 2011 at 2:09 am
MythBusters did an episode on the 5 sec rule. Very interesting watching. No I am not going to tell you. You have to search it out on your own.
Suffice it to say that I would have grabbed a spooned and helped Kathy.
January 11th, 2011 at 2:10 am
Hey what happened to the edit feature. I wanted to correct my word “spooned” to “spoon”. Grrr.
January 11th, 2011 at 5:19 am
To all those who said the 5 or 10 second rule applies, I’m so relieved. I stressed over whether to admit I did this, but it’s good to know at least half of you would do the same thing. But not after 11 seconds.
Rachele — I’m not sure. I’m expecting a call from my mother today.
The Florida Furkids — If it were pumpkin pie, I’d pick it up with a dustpan and put it right in the garbage. I’m discriminating with my pie.
flit — Thankfully, my cats don’t like sweets. Even if they were at my feet, they wouldn’t be interested. More for me!
injaynesworld — You are so right. You know, they say we shouldn’t even be washing our hands with anti-bacterial soap now because your body never gets a chance to build immunity. So, see. I did the right thing eating dirt!
Sheila — It warms my heart that eating off the floor is reason to like someone even more. I’m touched!
Ferd — Hey, you’re a doctor! You oughta know! I’m serious. Dirt makes you stronger. It’s my new health regimen.
Nanny Goats — Except kids get screamed at by their mothers. No one was around when I did it. Dave walked in the kitchen as I was cleaning up the kitchen island, which had a wall of cream on it. He didn’t ask questions or tell me I’m the grossest person he ever met. I love that man.
Surfie — I like that saying!
Lauren — Nice save! Hey, half a burger is better than no burger at all. Of course, we all know now that if the whole thing hit the ground, I’d still eat it.
Ann — I was counting on that!
Chris Casey — Thanks for the recommendation. Haven’t been to Carraba’s in a while. Note taken.
Grace — Hey, gotta live a little!
Rattln Along — I saw that episode. They determined it’s worse when wet food hits the floor, right? Well, I’m sure I picked up six contaminants on the way up, but I’m still walkin’ around, so there. I removed the edit feature because I thought it was responsible for breaking my Windows Live Writer. I have to test putting it back.
January 11th, 2011 at 5:52 am
Aw, man. That’s just heartbreaking when it’s your favorite treat. At my house, unfortunately, it doesn’t matter whether it’s a one, five, or 10-second rule. Anything that hits the floor is immediately going to get hoovered up by a waiting dog. It’s doubly upsetting when you lose your treat, and then have to pry it out of a dog’s gullet.
absepa´s last blog post ..You say resolutions- I say goals
January 11th, 2011 at 6:49 am
Just think of the floor dirts as added seasoning!
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog post ..A PSA from Harley
January 11th, 2011 at 7:07 am
Not all mom’s yell. Some of us snag the food up and hand it back to the kid. Heck, why be wasteful? 😉
Seriously. I’d totally do that. It’s chocolate! Course depending on the state of my floor I might do a quick search for crunchy bit’s first.
January 11th, 2011 at 9:25 am
My son went through about two years where he dumped everything we gave him on the floor before he’d eat it. It is surprisingly hard to preclude.
He was also the healthiest child I’ve ever known.
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January 11th, 2011 at 9:57 am
I was going to ask how long it took to get it up ’cause that whole 5 second rule is soooo true.
And hey, we goats eat just about everything off the ground and look at how healthy we are.
Pricilla´s last blog post ..Kringle is a ReviewGoat! He Reviews His GoatCoats
January 11th, 2011 at 10:20 am
I totally understand, Chocolate Silk pie is the best!
Susan Montgomery´s last blog post ..Play date!
January 11th, 2011 at 12:55 pm
My dogs are both healthy and they eat off the floor all the time. In fact, the floor is the least of my worries with them. They also eat things that we won’t discuss here, so it probably won’t kill you, Kathy. A little cat hair never hurt anyone. When I was a kid, I loved to eat the tar that burbled up from the sidewalk when it was hot. That probably was even more questionable than your floor pie and I’m still here. So don’t worry.
Linda Medrano´s last blog post ..Experimentation and Moral Downfall
January 11th, 2011 at 3:21 pm
Floor, schmoor! Who the hell cares? Why be wasteful and I’m sure most of us have eaten far worse things than something off the floor. Raw fish so aptly called sushi, steak tartare or raw beef.
And besides, how much more germ-y can you get than swapping spit with your significant other? Or with somebody you barely know? And then there’s the letting-the-dog-lick-your-face/lips…I mean, really! It can’t be any worse than that, right?
Lisa´s last blog post ..Worded Out
January 11th, 2011 at 3:27 pm
A little bit of dirt does nobody any harm – not even cat hairs. I may have just checked, and pulled off any stray hairs and fluff, then eaten it up! Just think of all the rubbish toddlers put in their mouths! You can be too fussy you know.
Babs (beetle)´s last blog post ..Mrs Leach’s Ice Cream
January 11th, 2011 at 4:00 pm
After the initial shock and disappointment of having dropped it, I would still have eaten it without a second thought. That’s why we clean kitchen floors in the first place, right?
January 11th, 2011 at 4:49 pm
I recently ate the French Three Kings cake for the first time. It’s also eaten once a year around Christmas time. It’s literally to die for. I would have done the same thing had it happened to me.
January 11th, 2011 at 5:46 pm
I’m with you all the way 🙂
robert bourne´s last blog post ..The Road the middle years part 17
January 11th, 2011 at 6:10 pm
absepa — See, now, that’s why I can never get a dog. Even though I’m tempted for it to clean my floor like that, there would be too many wrestling matches for the goods. Sorry, Fido. It’s all mine, and I’m way bigger than you.
Daisy the Curly Cat — Yes, I’ve decided that dirts are helpful. In fact, they’re damn near vitamins.
Laura — Also, I think we’ve all agreed that it helps kids’ immune systems. I’m sure if my pie had crunchy bits, they wouldn’t be so bad. Only cat food crunchies, and I’ve eaten those on a dare. Not bad at all.
Stephanie Barr — See, I knew it! It’s good for kids to eat off the floor. Just think of all the paper plates you’d save if you just served them right there. And, apparently, if you have a dog, they pick up the rest. So efficient!
Pricilla — I think it laid there for over 10, while I cleaned up the wall of cream that stuck to the kitchen island as it tumbled down. I’m gross, but I’m not a slob. There is a difference, you know?
Susan Montgomery — Thank you. I feel better now.
Linda Medrano — Oh, I don’t want to know what else they eat. I can only guess. Wow, what a flashback. I remember popping those tar bubbles as a kid. So fun! Though I never ate it. Wow, I missed out.
Lisa — Ew, yeah. Raw food that’s not a veggie is highly disgusting to me. I don’t care what fancy name you give raw meat, I ain’t eatin’ it! Swapping spit! I hadn’t thought about that, but yes, there has to be some massive bacterial thing goin’ on there.
Babs Beetle — Thank you for telling me it was OK to post this. I was so relieved when comments started coming in. I was afraid no one would come back, that I’d finally crossed the line. I shan’t be fussy, if I ever was to begin with.
Nutrition Degree — Good! I’m not alone! I hadn’t a second thought either. I should have, but I didn’t.
Marjana — Yep, that’s when I get my french silk pie. It’s a holiday-only dessert for me. But next time I’ll be way more careful with it. I remember it sliding off the knife oh-so-close to the plate. But no. Not close enough!
robert bourne — Somehow I knew you would be.
January 11th, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Hahahahaha! Five second rule! Five second rule! One must never let good refined sugar go to waste!
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January 11th, 2011 at 7:51 pm
My goodness, that looks amazing. I might end up in the hospital, or put someone in the hospital, if someone tried to take it from me. haha. 🙂
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January 11th, 2011 at 10:02 pm
I once dropped a dessert on the floor so amongst the cat hairs and fluffy bits, there was also bits of shattered glass. I was tempted to pick them out but thought chewing glass is probably not a good idea!
That pie looks AMAZING. My boyfriend is making dinner but now I just want him to go out and buy me some pie, haha!
January 12th, 2011 at 5:09 pm
My girlfriend always eats my dessert even though she orders her own. OR, she’ll say she’s too stuffed, then proceeds to “share” mine. Oh well, guess I can’t win this one.
January 13th, 2011 at 12:12 am
I still believe in the 3 second rule!
January 18th, 2011 at 6:49 am
Oh Kathy. You are so much more hardcore than I am. I would have picked it up as well but I would have HAD to cut off the contaminated side.
I retched a bit when I learned that you ingested cat hair just for the love of pie.
cardiogirl´s last blog post ..There is no perfect crime unless the lead detective is a 9-year-old in that case you can get away with murder
January 26th, 2011 at 12:43 pm
i feel like i just read something i wrote myself. ali? is that you? oh. no. it’s not me. i ate a i-don’t-know-how-old-this-is-Thin Mint off the pantry floor last night, not pie. that’s how i know this is a different story.
February 3rd, 2011 at 6:01 pm
OMG how funny. I just stumbled on your site and what a fun post to start out with. We all have those days and I’m guilty of not following the 5 second rule from time to time. So far I haven’t died 😉