A Nightmare of the Worst Kind
Bizarre, work February 1st, 2011
I had a nightmare last night. One of the sweaty, high-anxiety, glad-I’m- awake-now variety.
It wasn’t about being chased by an ax murderer. It wasn’t about finding myself taking a college exam that I hadn’t studied for. It had no vampires, ghouls, ghosts or zombies. Nothing monstery.
It was far, far worse.
It was about accounting.
Bookkeeping.
Ledgers and missed deadlines.
Yeah. I know. It was that bad.
I haven’t worked in a university accounting office for twelve years, and yet last night I found myself back there and freaking out about a month end close.
At the end of each month, I ran a report that automatically redistributed the months’s utility and maintenance charges to all the fraternity and sorority building accounts.
A percentage of the services bill was allocated to each building based on its square footage. It was a pain to do because the data entry was tedious and time-consuming.
Plus, one wrong number and the program would fail. If the percentages didn’t equal 100%, the whole thing would explode and you didn’t have enough time to recover. You’d have to fix it the next month.
In my nightmare, I realized I went eight months with old percentages. Incorrect ones meant nobody was billed correctly and now I’d have some ‘splaining to do.
THE HORROR!
In my dream, I told my boss about the problem and started crying. There’s no crying in accounting! Luckily, she was understanding and I could dab my tears away.
The nightmare ended well, but still had me in a tizzy. That I could even be thinking about that job after 12 years away is horrifying and probably something for which I still need therapy.
I’m debating whether to contact the person who replaced me in that office. To warn him or her that a decade from now, they’re going to find themselves still worried about numbers. Scary, screwed-up, blood-thirsty numbers.
My advice? If you see a giant, ax wielding calculator leering at you from the shadows of a dark alley, RUN!
So do any of you ever have nightmares about things or places that stressed you out a hundred years ago, but that can’t possibly hurt you now?
Stumble it!
February 1st, 2011 at 6:29 am
darn i mostly dream about being chased, um cough and world destruction. the anxiety with the last one is not that people are being stomped on by a hugh lizard looking monster, but who’s going to clean up afterward.
i’ll hide my calculator in your honor today. we can’t cry on the job either, or vomit, but i do it anyway.
February 1st, 2011 at 6:35 am
I still remember one from when I was a teenager…a really, really long time ago. All I remember is the end, plunging off a cliff, falling for a long time, landing into a giant can of soup. Explain that one. Kathy, face your fears – go volunteer to do that report!
February 1st, 2011 at 6:35 am
I’ve had dreams like that, only I’m back at university and I realize I haven’t dont any of the work in my program and not only that, I’m in math or science classes, rather than the English Lit classes I actually did take. Either that, or I AM in an English Lit class and I’m so far behind that I can’t possibly catch up or pass the class.
I try to get to the Registration Office to drop the class, but there’s a huge snowstorm and I can’t make it through…the…snow.
I much prefer my flying dreams (sans plane).
Poetikat´s last blog post ..Casting the Final Stones perhaps
February 1st, 2011 at 6:51 am
My Mommeh has two recurring nightmares:
1. She needs to speak but her mouth is filled with a huge wad of gum and the more she tries to take it out, the more it gets all stuck. Sometimes some of her teeth fall out.
2. She has to go potty and can’t find a bathroom anywhere!
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog post ..Lobster Roll
February 1st, 2011 at 7:18 am
Yikes, that IS horrifying! I still have nightmares about working in my old insurance office. There’s not enough therapy in the world for me to recover from those seven years of torture!
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post ..Where’s The Fire
February 1st, 2011 at 7:20 am
I don’t have nightmares like that. In fact, I usually can’t recall my dreams. But the occasional nightmare I do have is about being chased by either murderous people or by wild animals. They can be triggered by something I watched on TV, or a story I heard or read about.
Ferd´s last blog post ..Stone Mountain State Park
February 1st, 2011 at 8:42 am
My last waitressing job was in 1987, but I still have nightmares — vivid, horrifying nightmares — about my station being slammed, having to tediously fill water glasses (with ice!) for each customer before I can take their order, forgetting entire tables, PANICKING, wondering how I’m going to be able to QUIT this damn job when I need the money . . . *hyperventilates*
Yeah. I have nightmares. Are you sure they can’t hurt me?
JD at I Do Things´s last blog post ..I STILL Do Things so you don’t have to damn it!
February 1st, 2011 at 8:55 am
Oh, yeah. I have those dreams, usually about high school for some reason. Somehow lockers are usually involved with me panicking because I can’t remember the combinations…also getting late to classes.
Unfinished Rambler´s last blog post ..A look back at January 2011 here on an unfinished person in this unfinished universe
February 1st, 2011 at 9:01 am
I hate nightmares. Occasionally, I find myself back in Marine Corps boot camp in the midst of my slumber. It usually involves a drill instructor screaming at me while I’m doing “mountain climbers forever.” Then it gets scary when my ex-wife shows up. Even the drill instructor runs in fear.
HJ Smith´s last blog post ..Cop Rant- The War on Drugs
February 1st, 2011 at 9:39 am
I often have nightmares about being back in Catholic school.
J. Bear Savo´s last blog post ..The Suicide of Superman
February 1st, 2011 at 11:26 am
Accounting is just a nightmare, pure and simple. I have a great deal of admiration for people who can do that stuff every day of their lives.
When I was a kid, I used to have nightmares about being orphaned. The means by which I lost my mom and grandmother varied, but most of the time they were eaten by animals. In the dreams, I was always trying to figure out how I was going to support myself, where I was going to live, etc., since I was only eight or nine years old. I still have them occasionally, even though I am certainly old enough to take care of myself now.
absepa´s last blog post ..How do I hate thee- AT&T Oh- Im going to count the ways
February 1st, 2011 at 11:32 am
Remember back in 2009, when everyone was worried about catching the Mexican Pig Flu? That gave me nightmares. I was terrified. I wanted to put duct tape around all of my windows, so that the Mexican Pig Flu would not get inside my house, but that would mean that I would have to go outside to get the duct tape.
I didn’t sleep for months.
February 1st, 2011 at 11:54 am
I once related a similar story to some friends at a cocktail party….the concensus was this….”dude, you need to get stoned more often”. They were probably right.
Bruce´s last blog post ..Born Free To Dance With Black Holes
February 1st, 2011 at 12:17 pm
High School and college dreams, where either:
a.) I can’t find my class.
b.) My pants/underwear are around my ankles and I can’t pull them up.
c.) Didn’t do my math homework (I think math is just always scary.)
Tara Rose Stromberg´s last blog post ..On the Brain- Bloggers
February 1st, 2011 at 1:20 pm
No accounting for what dreams may come.
February 1st, 2011 at 2:23 pm
I DO still dream about old jobs, old demanding, 60-hour-a-week jobs. Mostly I dream about the treacherous bee-yatches I worked with, and how somehow I have to work with them again. 911 is a lot less stressful than being in their company.
Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog post ..My Mixed Marriage
February 1st, 2011 at 2:27 pm
I think the picture you posted….will give me a nightmare tonight!
When I waitressed….I had nightmares about waitressing. I’d wake up in the middle of the night…physically sit up…and think that I just had to wait on someone. I had to convince myself that I was in bed and that no one needed my help.
My waitressing nightmares were the only ones where I would PHYSICALLY sit up.
February 1st, 2011 at 4:44 pm
V — The world is a messy place. I barely want to clean up my kitchen, much less a destructed earth. Thank you for hiding your calculator for me. I’m still in shock.
Lynski — A giant can of soup!? What the? My husband laughed when I read that to him. He said “Mine are simple. People are just trying to kill me.”
Poetikat — OMG. I had that nightmare a few years ago. I’m ready to take my final exam and realize I haven’t read any of the books (Lit class as well). But I remember telling myself “I can do it. I still have a day.” Why, why must we keep dreaming about school when it’s OVER?
Daisy the Curly Cat — Tell your Mommeh I laughed at the first one. I’ve had “teeth falling out” dreams too. So silly, aren’t they? I bet you have nightmares about Mr. Shrill. That guy’s bad news!
meleah rebeccah — I remember you talking about that place. Pure hell, huh? Seven years sounds like one too many. Hope you recover eventually.
Ferd — I usually can find the reason I’m having a certain nightmare. Close as I can tell, it’s because we’ve been paying a neighbor to shovel our driveway and sidewalk. One of the bills I had to redistribute charges for was snow removal. That’s my best guess.
JD at I Do Things — I think I put “waitressing” on my list of things I could never do in my life. I can understand why you would have nightmares about it. I would have a massive panic myself. Everyone’s orders would be late or wrong and I would leave my shift in tears every day. That’s if I made it a whole day before being fired. I don’t know how you did it. You’re a better person than me.
Unfinished Rambler — Oh, man. Locker combinations. It’s like the number that means life or death. I hated ever being late for class because I’m always on time and always follow rules. If I had to walk into a class late, with everyone looking at me, you guessed it. Tears.
HJ Smith — LMAO. I’m sorry. Was I allowed to laugh?
J. Bear Savo — Oh, don’t even start. Not sure if you ever saw this post I wrote about catholic school horror stories.
absepa — I don’t know how accountants do it either. To me, you have to be wired for it. That wasn’t me. What a sad nightmare you have. It is traumatizing to think you’d have to support yourself at such a young age. It’s also idiotic that we keep having them when we’re safe and sound now.
Thomas C — Holy crap, dude. Pig Flu. Not fun. You’re OK now. All you have to worry about now is Snowmaggedon. Do you have enough milk and bread?
Bruce — So that’s it! Pass me a fat one!
Tara Rose Stromberg — God help you if you had them all at once! I hate the one about not having done my assignments. It’s truly awful, and yet I’m not in school and don’t plan to be again, so what is the freaking deal with that?
HumorSmith — Hee!
Shieldmaiden1196 — Dreadful! Work would be so awesome if we didn’t have to work with people, I always say.
Linda — I know! Isn’t it frightening?! Like JD, you have been ruined for life by waitressing. I’m sorry. I couldn’t do it and have the utmost respect for those who do, which is why I’m an obscene tipper. You’d love me at your table.
February 1st, 2011 at 5:46 pm
I don’t recall ever having nightmares about a past job. But I have often had all my teeth fall out, or worse still, my tonsils! They were in my mouth and I had to find a way of removing my tonsils from my mouth in public. Of course they were huge globs of something horrible, that filled my mouth completely – disgusting!
Babs (beetle)´s last blog post ..A cat and a carrier bag
February 1st, 2011 at 6:21 pm
I worked at a pool that had really bad evening glare just before closing. I would always have dreams that a kid would be drowning in the glare and I wouldn’t be able to see him/her. I would always wake up when I found their limp body during closing check!!! Aweful!! The nightmare happened at least once a week but it never came anywhere close to true thank goodness!
February 2nd, 2011 at 2:17 am
Oh boy, do I. I still have nightmares about Improvisational Theater and I haven’t done that in about 10 years. I don’t even have to TELL you what precisely happens in the dream. It’s self-evident.
Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog post ..Open Letter to Thomas Carpenter of 101 Things
February 2nd, 2011 at 10:35 am
Oh yeah, all the time. . . I often dream I’m missing class or fighting with an old boss (where I always cry) about something from when I was a researcher. EEEK!
Andi´s last blog post ..An Invitation to Spring and Some New Blogs
February 2nd, 2011 at 12:05 pm
Thanks to the mind numbing drugs the publicist has to take for her headaches she no longer dreams. Nor does she sleep so it is not a fair trade off.
She used to dream about waking up with no teeth. She didn’t like that.
I have nightmares about never having apples again. The horror!
Pricilla´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday – Peak-a-Boo- I See Two
February 2nd, 2011 at 1:14 pm
I have had recurring nightmares about biting into an apple and having my teeth get stuck and fall out into the apple. This is always in a very public venue and I’m trying to act normal like nothing has happened. I NEVER eat apples now.
Another recurring nightmare I have is about a Tidal Wave. I’ve never experienced one, but that dream always wakes me up shaking.
February 2nd, 2011 at 1:17 pm
I seldom recall my dreams, but I do have anxieties about math and balancing my checkbook, so if I have a nightmare tonight about working in an accounting office, I’m blaming you.
And I’ll expect some nice soothing bacon. 😉
February 2nd, 2011 at 4:19 pm
When I was a little kid I had a huge phobia of gloves. I’d have dreams about them moving on their own and grabbing me. Winter was a very hard season back then.
February 2nd, 2011 at 4:50 pm
I rarely have nightmares. However, I do have dreams that bother me. My dad passed away in May of 2009. We were close and he was a deeply religious man. I, sadly, am not religious. I want to be; but I unfortunately, have not found my way.
With that said, I dreamed a short time after his death, that he was in my place of employment and behind a counter in one of the administrative offices. Dad was clad in his hospital gown, and stooped over as if he was searching for something. Out of nowhere, a brick wall appeared behind him, and on it was a small, Polaroid of him was he was much younger and healthy. In fact, this was an actual photograph I have of him in our home. I leaned forward to get a glimpse and there was writing beneath the picture which is not there in real life. My father noticed me looking at the photo, and said in a voice as clear as day, “Everything is as it seems, all rumors are true.” Then I woke up.
My brother told me that in the world of psychology, the brick wall signifies ones views about death. A wall means one cannot see the other side, a fence which one can see over means one has accepted death. I had the brick wall and my father was telling me …based on his faith…that all is okay.
February 2nd, 2011 at 6:03 pm
I dream about working in a Bowling Alley all the time. I was the guy who fixed all the machines and took care of the lanes. I can’t keep everything running, and people get irate with me when they don’t get strikes.
Even my therapist is puzzled!
February 2nd, 2011 at 7:36 pm
I work as a literary agent. . and when I was assistant I had to do the book keeping. I sucked at it and my boss was always all YOU ARE TERRIBLE and I would have to go home and drink because I sucked at the book keeping. Now I run my own show, but still freak out because of the book keeping, even though I’m perfectly competent. ACCOUNTING SCARS. That is the lesson here.
Paula/adhocmom´s last blog post ..You Can’t Hide Your Dirty Secrets From the iTunes Genius
February 3rd, 2011 at 12:22 am
I can’t seem to get past my recurring nightmare of selling stamps at the post office. BTW, I have an in teresting story about Fluffy who might end up as bacon.
February 3rd, 2011 at 5:59 am
Babs Beetle — What’s with the teeth? I’ve had a couple of those dreams too.I think it means you have high anxiety in your waking life. Yeah, because I dream my teeth are falling out! Tonsils in your mouth? Blech. That sounds utterly disgusting. It also sounds like Daisy’s mommeh with her mouth full of gum and she can’t get it out. Freaky!
daughterbonnie — That is awful. I’m sure it’s because you have one small chance to save a life and it must have been on your mind constantly. That kind of high-alert job wouldn’t be for me, but I’m glad someone does it!
Nanny Goats — Are you nakkid? You’re nakkid, right?
Andi — There’s no crying in research!
Pricilla — Ooo, that’s bad. I would rather have a nightmare and a good night’s sleep than none at all and feel tired all the time. Sorry. Don’t worry. Apples are plentiful. They can never run out, even in your nightmares.
Linda Medrano — There we go with the teeth again. It’s obviously a very common dream. I think we’re all stressed out in our waking life. That, or we all need to see the dentist pronto!
injaynesworld — Oh, please don’t. I don’t do my checkbook either. Thank God my husband picked up that chore. I’d rather clean toilets every day than try to balance that thing.
Nutrition Degree — Holy crap, that’s weird. I guess you never watch The Adamms Family then?
Mike — What a bittersweet story. I’m glad you had that dream and it gives you comfort. We should all be so lucky. Nothing worse than always wondering. We have enough stress in our lives. Thanks for sharing.
Chris Casey — Sounds like the waitressing stories. Never able to keep up with the customers. That’s hell right there.
Paula — See! You can have accounting scars! You and I are cut from the same cloth. I didn’t have to do actual accounting (no bank statements, no reconciliations), but I ran the programs that posted entries and that alone was enough to make me hate it forever. When I took the one and only required accounting class in college, I burst into tears when I opened my textbook the day that I bought it. But I got an A in the course anyway. Still. Horrible.
MA Fat Woman — Ugh. Post office nightmares. I don’t envy you. That sounds way worse than accounting. What? Fluffy? Bacon?
February 3rd, 2011 at 8:48 am
That ax wielding calculator has been following me for years. I hate math and numbers. I used to cry while doing my math homework in elementary school. As far as nightmares about work, they usually occur during the day. They seem so real. I can even taste what I have for lunch.
Lauren´s last blog post ..A Note to God from a Dissatisfied Customer
February 3rd, 2011 at 12:57 pm
I graduated from college almost four years ago, but I still keep having a recurring nightmare about it. It’s almost the same every time. It’s close to the end of my final semester, and I realize that I’ve somehow completely neglected one of my courses, as in, not knowing I was even enrolled in it. The remainder of the dream is about the ensuing panic when I realize that I won’t be able to graduate this semester. And then, thankfully, I wake up and remember that the diploma is framed and hanging safely in the downstairs office.
Either that, or the dream is about zombies. Always with the zombies… >_>
February 3rd, 2011 at 10:23 pm
Gee thanks! I haven’t had those nightmares in years. I’m sure I’ll have one now! I used to have nightmares about my first real accounting job. I was also Office Manager and the owner wouldn’t pay enough to keep staff. He’d hire everyone green, train them, then they’d go get a job that paid decent money. And I had nightmares about our monthly client financial statement reviews. There was always at least one major troublesome account and I had to do cartwheels to fix it. Ugh! So glad I’m not there anymore!
Lola´s last blog post ..Snowmageddon At Lolas Diner
February 4th, 2011 at 1:53 am
I remember a dream wherein I have a grade problem and won’t be graduating. But then again, its a dream, I do graduated with flying colors. Yeba!
Oh by the way, when you dream? do you always wake up when you dream of falling from a chair or falling from rooftop, because I do!
RonLeyba´s last blog post ..Filipino Tattoos
February 4th, 2011 at 8:53 pm
I went through a phase for a long time where I would dream about having to fly somewhere. This dream would come when I didn’t want to do something.
In the dream, there were variations, but it was always a situation where I’d be on my way to the airport and tell the driver to forget it and take me home. Or i’d get to the airport and decide not to go. Or the lady I lived with in France stole my ticket so I couldn’t go home. Or I was going to be so late, I’d never catch my plane or anyone else’s.
They were the most obvious dreams I’ve ever had. I don’t have them anymore, even when something I don’t want to do is coming up.
sparkling74´s last blog post ..Sorry- Im Not Here Right Now- Please Come Find Me