There’s always one idiot at the gym who you avoid like the plague once you get a sense they’re not quite right. You’re afraid their weirdness might rub off on you and then you’ll have to take an extra long shower afterward.

You resent the fact that you pay all this good money to work out in a nice quiet place all alone in your thoughts until she shows up and gets on a machine next to you.

I am that idiot.

Yesterday on Facebook, I posted a note that I was resisting the urge to put this song on my iPod because according to the Frederick Statute of Singing Songs Out Loud, Article 5.34.1, I am only allowed to play songs where I don’t disturb others with my high-decibel, off-key singing to songs I don’t know all the words to.

 

Did I listen to my own advice?

I did not. It got downloaded.

Which is why when the song played on my iPod this morning, I couldn’t shut up. It’s the one song that I must sing out loud and with gusto.

There was a guy on an elliptical machine two over and a couple people in front of me.

It was a disaster. The guy to my left was not listening to his own music. So that left him listening to me and mine.

The words slipped out involuntarily. No turning back.

I know he heard me. Had to.

Hit it, Kathy!

Why do you build me up, build me up… buttercup, baby….

He didn’t look over.

…and mess me around….

Quiet voice, quiet voice….

…you never call, baby, when you say you will….

Still not looking, but he’s pumping his legs harder. Is it me?

…. hey, hey, HEY!!!!!….

I’m on fire now.

….I-I-I-need you-ooo-ooo more than anyone baby….

I am now flipping my head back and forth, rockin’ out in Crazytown. I can’t be stopped. I no longer care, but I know he must be cursing me.

It happened. I’m cool with it. I just don’t think elliptical guy wants to see me again and he very well may want his money back, at least for today.

I’m sorry. I’ll take it off my iPod.

Maybe.

Stumble it!