If Babies Texted
Fun June 18th, 2011
Zach: Dude, where u at?
Dylan: My crib
Zach: Yo. UR house?
Dylan: Yea but no. I mean my actual crib.
Zach: U ain’t up yet?
Dylan: Ruf nite. No sleep.
Zach: Sup?
Dylan: Batteries dying on my teddy. Makes a racket til you change ‘em.
Zach: Dude?
Dylan: You know, the batteries go and the guy beeps and talks gibberish. Doesn’t yours?
Zach: I don’t even have a talking bear. U suck. So listen. U heading to park later?
Dylan: Can’t. Nana’s today.
Zach: Which one?
Dylan: The awesome one who knits me the bitchin’ booties.
Zach: Yea, remember ur Converse ones. Dude. Awesome.
Dylan: Heh, yea those help with the ladies. Picked up a cutie at mommy n me class once.
Zach: I remember her. Chrissy, right. She’s hot. Cept her diaper wasn’t doing her any favors.
Dylan: Like yours are? U always look like your carrying a load. Why do u wear them so low?
Zach: Man its the look.
Dylan: See it isn’t. U look like a fool with a saggy crotch. Makes U crawl stupid.
Zach: I crawl awesome. I won a race once.
Dylan: Oh man. Mom’s on the move. Gotta run. Trying to feed me solids now. I kinda miss milk. Do you?
Zach: U kidding? UR such a baby. I’m chewin’ now. Nom nom carrots!
Dylan: Catch you later. Text you after my second nap. Prob 4 or so, K?
Zach: K. Headin to park. I’ll let you know if Chrissy’s there. Heh.
Dylan: Don’t even
Zach: I think she’ll like my saggy diaper. Might even share my paci with her.
Dylan: Gross. Seriously dude. Hands off.
Zach: Tell ur mom I said yo.
Dylan: Yo to the mom.
Zach: Later dude.
Dylan: Later.
Stumble it!
June 18th, 2011 at 7:50 am
Hahaha…
Seriously, you sat down and actually thought of this … eh ?
June 18th, 2011 at 7:50 am
Yo! First!
“Diapers on the ground… Diapers on the ground… Lookin’ like a fool with your diapers on the ground!”
LOL @ “Nom nom carrots!”
J. Bear Savo´s last blog post ..Wolf Moon Walker
June 18th, 2011 at 7:51 am
Damn it! Missed being first by seconds.
J. Bear Savo´s last blog post ..Wolf Moon Walker
June 18th, 2011 at 9:16 am
They grow up so fast…
Carla´s last blog post ..Even my computer is tired of the gray!
June 18th, 2011 at 11:36 am
Umm… in the next scene does one character try to sell the other on online investment services?
Sharyn´s last blog post ..A Letter To Some Of My Friends
June 18th, 2011 at 12:05 pm
This was great. I wonder what texts my cats send each other — probably reports on squirrel activity. Actually, even though I’m a cat person, I suspect that dogs send better texts.
Laura´s last blog post ..Twelve Things I Wish I’d Known About Insects
June 18th, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Hilarious, I love the picture of the baby with the phone, so cute! It helps for picturing the convo even more. And LOL at “bitchin’ booties!”
Keshyra´s last blog post ..Whole Foods Parking Lot- Rap Video
June 18th, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?
No? Well, you are…especially after this post. You rock…
unfinishedperson´s last blog post ..Instant blog post classic
June 18th, 2011 at 4:32 pm
I think you should do a guest post for me 🙂 My mind is blank and this is so cute.
Babs (beetle)´s last blog post ..Hey! Mr Postman – You needn’t have bothered
June 18th, 2011 at 6:14 pm
LOL and the sad thing is I could probably see this IF they could text and have coherent thoughts.
blueyes´s last blog post ..Generic Verses Name Brand
June 19th, 2011 at 12:22 am
This was LOL and adorable at the same time.
What a creative idea.
June 19th, 2011 at 4:27 am
Very funny (brilliant), but have to say, a little scary.
June 19th, 2011 at 6:06 am
Now I want my own cell phone…
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog post ..I Got Brunette Hairs!
June 19th, 2011 at 6:22 am
Jaffer — It’s weird how the idea percolated. Someone posted on their wall that they were woken up too early by screaming birds yesterday. I responded that wouldn’t it be nicer if they quietly texted instead? Birds changed to babies, and there you go.
J. Bear — “Diapers on the ground…” Oh, that’s just too funny. Jaffer’s a quick one. Maybe next time?
Carla — And it wouldn’t surprise me if some people put their babies on their family plan immediately. Texting before walking? Totally possible.
Sharyn — Hee.
Laura — That’s a great idea, too! You should write an imagined conversation! Mine would be texting about how to get me up an hour earlier every day.
Keshyra — I can’t believe I even found one. I liked bitchin’ booties too. How often do you ever hear that phases? Never? You will now! Every time you see cute booties.
Unfinishedperson — Well thankyouverymuch, dude. And now I have a Bette Midler earworm, but that’s OK to have.
Babs Beetle — Hey, I’ve been blank for weeks. I’m lucky I eked this one out! I would if I could. Besides, you have the funniest conversations with Mo. All you have to do is have one and write about it!
blueyes — I could totally see it too. I mean, what are they thinking about? Wouldn’t we love to know?
Alexandra — Thank you! ps. Loved the post you’re up for for BlogHer ’11 Voice of the Year. Hilarious and true!
Jobi and Fisher — Yes, very scary. We can’t prove they don’t have thoughts like that, now can we? We should all be afraid.
Daisy the Curly Cat — Oh, I can already imagine the texts between you and Harley. I’m laughing at the mere thought of it. Except you have to keep a close eye on him, since he already sent out a picture of his wiener.
June 19th, 2011 at 7:48 am
This is hysterical. What would girl babies text about?
sparkling74´s last blog post ..Feel Good Friday Hosted By THE SLACKER
June 19th, 2011 at 10:47 am
I see girl babies texting with Valley Girl accents. This is wonderful, Kathy!
Linda Medrano´s last blog post ..Knocked Up and Prickly
June 19th, 2011 at 11:36 am
The publicist spit her coffee again. I am really getting tired of typing on coffee spit. I don’t get my hooves pedicured for this.
Harumph!
I will not tell you what goats text.
Maaahahahahaha
Pricilla´s last blog post ..Happy Fathers Day
June 19th, 2011 at 3:21 pm
Totally fun! A few more years …
June 19th, 2011 at 4:05 pm
You, are a genius. This was awwwwwwwwsome!
Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog post ..Call for Submissions- Photos for 2012 Goat Calendar
June 19th, 2011 at 8:27 pm
Very funny stuff, Kathy!
Rima´s last blog post ..I Know You Are But What Am I
June 20th, 2011 at 10:34 am
Now that’s a creative mind. One funny line after another. Keep writing, you’re a pleasure to read.
June 20th, 2011 at 12:55 pm
Brilliantly clever post, Kathy!
I could actually see and hear them texting one another – HA!
And can you believe I’ve NEVER sent text in my life? Well, that’s probably because I don’t have cell phone.
I know. Aren’t I crazy???
Ron´s last blog post ..OkayLets Be Gay Today!
June 20th, 2011 at 5:43 pm
sparkling74 — See, now you make me want to write another one. It would be longer, much longer, because you know we girls can’t shut up.
Linda Medrano — I’m so sure. Way!
Pricilla — I just had the most hilarious image of you at a salon getting your hooves done. Talk about spitting coffee!
missing moments — If that! And given that no one seems to think they need to spell correctly in texts, they don’t even have to wait until kindergarten.
Nanny Goats — Thank you, Miss Goat (p.s. I love that I have a pair of goats that always comment at Junk Drawer. Weird, no?)
Rima — Thanks, Rima!
June O’Hara — Thank you, sweetie. I really appreciate that. You know how hard it’s been for me to write lately.
Ron — Ronnie! You are not crazy. I hate texting, too, especially on my regular phone, which is like a Playskool phone. Cheap and unreliable. I live my life just fine without texting, but it drives my sister nuts. She desperately wants me to get with the program.
June 20th, 2011 at 11:01 pm
so freakin’ funny!
Ali´s last blog post ..Mom Can we get him some food
June 21st, 2011 at 6:58 am
LOL 😀
They start early, don’t they!
June 21st, 2011 at 2:28 pm
My nana used to knit bitchin’ booties as well. 🙂 Miss those things. Store bought’s just not the same. LOL
Thanks for the laugh.
CrAzY Working Mom´s last blog post ..Red Faced at the Zoo- But Not From the Heat!!!
June 22nd, 2011 at 4:00 am
Oh MY GOD! This is the FUNNIEST blog post I have seen probably EVER! Love it. LLLLLLOVE IT! I am sitting here, by myself at 5 am and I just snorted coffee out my nose. Awesome stuff.
Melissa´s last blog post ..North Adams Senior Pictures
June 23rd, 2011 at 10:07 pm
I like the way these babies don’t use an incessant amount of “lols” while texting! Hopefully this is a new breed of independent thinkers coming through! 😉
June 27th, 2011 at 5:49 pm
too funny. although i hate it when one of my friends types her emails this way. if someone is at a full keyboard, type real words, nt shet lik dis. she’s 50, just stop it. it’s really another freaking language and i rather not read it.
August 18th, 2011 at 8:56 pm
Too funny. Even better because I stumbled here …I mean, I’m used to stumbling of course!