I’m Sorry, But You Can’t Just Make Up Words
language December 20th, 2011
My sister sent me this notice she received at the insurance company where she works:
Member/Dependent Premium – The premium will reflect a monthly premium. For Monthly billed plans, nothing needs to be done with the premium. For quarterly, semi-annual and annually billed plans, the premium needs to be monthletized (made to reflect a monthly premium).
Quarterly billed plans: MI Quarterly Premium / 3
Semi-annual billed plans: MI Semi Annual Premium / 6
Annually billed plans: MI Annual Premium / 12
Monthletized?
Sorry, but you can’t just make up words, people. And if you have to put the definition in parentheses so people know what the hell you’re talking about, there’s proof you can’t use it.
So says me.
But if they get to use made-up words and get away with it, so should I.
I submit for your review:
1. Dinnerate – to make a meal out of food products for consumption between the hours of 5:00PM and 8:00PM.
2. Bathletize – to make yourself clean with soap and water in a large vessel, sometimes combined with a shower, sometimes standalone. Or if you like old-style charm, claw-footedized.
3. Readify – to look at and understand words in a book for entertainment or scholarly purposes.
4. Calculatate – to use a calculator or computer to perform mathematical computations. See also, mathemalate.
5. Purrification – a cat’s act of expressing approval by making soft, vibratory sounds. May result in snugglification between owner and cat.
6. FedExcitation – the exhilaration felt when receiving a delivery from an express shipping service.
7. Charminimum – the point at which you’re down to the last roll of toilet paper.
8. Examinightmare – those terror-filled dreams you have a decade after graduating college, where you think you have finals the next day and haven’t studied at all.
9. Yule blog – a blog post about Christmas.
10. Pointificate – to continue making an argument for something, long after people got annoyed and stopped listening.
Got any others? I’m all earified.
Stumble it!
December 20th, 2011 at 7:14 am
hey, lawyers make up words all the time and jesse jackson, but at least jesse turns it into a game, his fake words rhyme.
December 20th, 2011 at 7:32 am
I like number 7. I’m going to use it the next time my wife uses all the toilet paper and doesn’t tell me. I’m going to say, “Honey, why didn’t you tell me we were at our charminimum before we ran out?”
J. Bear Savo´s last blog post ..I Hate Christmas & Jesus Does, Too
December 20th, 2011 at 8:00 am
Twenty years ago, our professors were trying to tell us young teachers to make sure our students do lots of “languaging”. I’m thinking, “Really? You people are college professors. Please try not to sound like imbeciles.”
Fred´s last blog post ..Piece on Earth
December 20th, 2011 at 8:55 am
I bet it’s fun to play Scrabble with you!
December 20th, 2011 at 9:53 am
I make up words all the time, Kathy!
Such as:
TOTES [short for totally]
and
OBLIGERIOUS [which is obviously ridiculous combined.]
My favorite on YOUR list are #7 & #10!
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post ..Merry Christmas & Happy Hanukkah [2011]
December 20th, 2011 at 10:02 am
I make up words all the time– y’know, for my novels. But if I used something like “monthletized” in a business document, I would no longer have my day job. 🙂 (PS– does this mean the shorter months are Monthlettes? February, for instance, would HAVE to be a monthlette.)
I tried to get the following new word into the Urban Dictionary this past week, but they weren’t buying it–
“Wraprimand: the snarky commentary one gets from unappreciative gift-givers when they feel you didn’t spend enough time or talent on the packaging.”
December 20th, 2011 at 10:13 am
May I offer up decevious? It’s a combination of deceitful and devious. After the initial mistake of saying it, I’ve been using it for years.
Carla´s last blog post ..Holiday lights
December 20th, 2011 at 10:29 am
I’ve used purrification for years to refer to the need for some kitty cuddling time after a bad day at work. After some fur stroking and soothing purring I come away purrified.
December 20th, 2011 at 11:55 am
Oh, bureaucrats just love creating new (and empty) words! One of my pet peeves is “maximize.” That, to my knowledge, was never a word until Microsoft, eh?
Did you know that “squeegee” is a noun AND a verb??
Rebecca´s last blog post ..That “OH NO I FORGOT” Moment
December 20th, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Not exactly a word, but I do use “purr therapy” for snuggling with cats when I’m sick.
I had the ultimate examinightmare once — I dreamed that I was taking the Bar exam, and just as the test started, I realized that I’d completely forgotten to go to law school.
Laura´s last blog post ..That One Night It Got Really Windy
December 20th, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Charminimum. Awesome.
XYZ-nophobia. When standing in front of an audience, the fear that your zipper is down.
Chris@Knucklehead!´s last blog post ..Dumbed-Down Classics: Of Mice and Men
December 20th, 2011 at 2:44 pm
I make so many words up that I often worry that I may use them by accident!
I once got a new doctor and was telling her of my ‘rhinitis’ I used the word I use when messing about and said “I suffer with Rhinoceros” She didn’t laugh!
I do draw the line at actually using a made up word seriously though!
Babs (beetle)´s last blog post ..Crispy bacon and decorations
December 20th, 2011 at 2:53 pm
I like the words! It makes me smile.. Making up words is not easy, it takes you to be smart to get one. Thanks for sharing them…
Allaina´s last blog post ..hand
December 20th, 2011 at 5:22 pm
v — I can only imaging the language butchering you witness every single day. There’s gotta be a dictionary just for legal terms. I loved the SNL skits on Weekend Update where Jesse went all nuts with his style of speaking.
J. Bear — I’m fond of #7, too! I’m pretty proud of that one. I submitted it to Urban Dictionary. It needs to be in our everyday language, right?
Fred — {puts head in hands} Oh, dear God that’s awful. Really? Oy.
Bijoux — I can’t remember the last time I played or if I was challenged much, but I’m totally using any of these words if I get tiles for the letters. See, once you publish them, they’re words. So says me.
meleah — Thank you for making “totes” part of my regular language. You’re a mover and a shaker!
Jenn Thorson — Yes! February should be a monthlette! It doesn’t have any business calling itself a month if there aren’t at least 30 days. Sorry, loser. I love wraprimand. What’s wrong with those people? That’s an awesome word. Beats half the ones they allow. Boo!
Carla — Perfectly acceptable, if you ask me.
Melody — Purrified! Purrfect! There are few sounds so lovely as a cat purring in contented bliss, eh?
Rebecca — Too close to maxipad, right? A friend of mine just posted about nouns being “verbified.” Drives him nuts. Read it here.
Laura — Purr therapy should be right up there with “fluids and chicken soup.” I know it helps. Your examinightmare is dreadful. That’s way worse than not studying for a single class. Missed the entire boat, huh?
Chris — Excellent offering. Has it ever happened to you?
Babs — I would have laughed? Geesh, don’t people have a sense of humor anymore? I say go ahead and use your made up words. They’re fun!
December 20th, 2011 at 6:07 pm
Oh, PLEASE can we add the word “Strollering”?
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog post ..My Very Own Tree!
December 20th, 2011 at 8:58 pm
looks like sumthang ude git from the phederil gummit
December 20th, 2011 at 9:41 pm
I make up crap all the time. Only because my memory and word recall has gotten so bad that I can’t rememberorize anything. See?
December 20th, 2011 at 10:35 pm
I’m not clever enough to make up words, I have enough trouble with the ones already in existence but I do cringe when people say “orientated” …
Grace´s last blog post ..Some more assorted nonsense + I was wrong about the grumpy
December 21st, 2011 at 4:49 am
Daisy the Curly Cat — Oh, by all means. You know that strollering is one of my most favorite words. And it’s one of my most favorite things to see you do on your blog. Please, please, please go strollering soon! That is, if Harley doesn’t mind you leaving the house for a bit.
robert bourne — You couldn’t have said it better (and I’m happy I understood that).
MAFW — “Rememberorize.” Good one. Whatever works, lady!
Grace — Ooooo! I cringe at that one too. There’s no sentence where that works. It sounds like a word a three year old would use. Hate it!
December 21st, 2011 at 7:30 am
I’m not a native speaker, but I’ll try it to:
accountaggravationaze – an activity performed by wife with free access to limitless creditcard during shoping
ambudefibriliterization – a man that discovered the accountaggravationazing activities of his wife and urgently need an ambulance car.
petrus´s last blog post ..Portugalské Algarve
December 21st, 2011 at 10:08 am
I am a most clever goat as is seen with my latest serious of Christmaaa Carols and tree-ts
I am maaavelous as you know.
And of course I am a Famous SpokesGoat!
Pricilla – Famous SpokesGoat´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday – The Ghost of Christmas Tree-ts Past
December 21st, 2011 at 1:11 pm
I’m with you on this. Check out “Backronym”.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backronym
Infuriating.
Surfing Site´s last blog post ..ASP cuts NY on the pro tour
December 21st, 2011 at 1:39 pm
I don’t even know what to say. I do make up words but it’s generally to avoid using “bad” words. I used to tell my kids to watch out and not step in the “shimunga”. Now, “shimunga” may not be a word, but I think it’s pretty descriptive.
Linda Medrano´s last blog post ..Got The Flowers On The Wall
December 21st, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Oh, I see what you did you clever person you. I wonder if I can come up with some good ones (takes off tinfoil hat and puts on thinking cap.)
December 21st, 2011 at 8:56 pm
I’m a fan of “flatulate,” as in, “and then the dog flatulated.” Bajillion, gazillion, etc. And, of coursely. This one my daughter made up, when she was four or so. You’d ask her a question and she’d say, “Well, OF COURSELY I would like to have peanut butter and jelly for lunch.” She is 7 now and doesn’t say it anymore and so I has a sad.
Impetua´s last blog post ..Pageantry
December 22nd, 2011 at 4:33 am
petrus — For a non-native speaker, those are excellent words. You could give the monthletize people a run for their money. Now go get a pair of scissors and cut up that credit card. We don’t need you ambulatized.
Pricilla — Now wait a minute. Are you telling me you eat Christmas trees as treats? That can’t be right. Wouldn’t the needles … uh… hurt on the way out?
Surfing Site — Thanks for the education. I’ve never heard of a backronym before. The “Apgar” one makes the most good sense to me.
Linda Medrano — I like “shimunga.” You’re right. It’s far enough away from the bad word, but close enough to make your point. Good one!
GoingLikeSixty — Oh, put the tinfoil hat back on! You look so fetching in that.
Impetua — Aw, I love “of coursely!” And by the way, you know I’d never say that. About the PBJ. Maybe next month, after I try one for the first time in my life (see previous posts if you don’t know what I’m talking about).
December 22nd, 2011 at 6:09 am
Nice job Kathy! Oh, the pressure! I can’t think of anything.
Wait, coffelytize — to proclaim the joy of coffee to non-believers. Booyah!
cardiogirl´s last blog post ..A holiday letter from the neighbor’s cat
December 22nd, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Englishatize – Converting a foreign word to English by (horribly) mutilating the pronunciation.
December 23rd, 2011 at 5:12 pm
I have four stomachs by the time they get through the first two come back up through my cud go back down and through the four again there is nothing but little goat berries and nothing to cause pain. We are very efficient digesters. ANOTHER made up word.
Pricilla – Famous SpokesGoat´s last blog post ..Christmaaaa Caroling with the Happy Goats
December 23rd, 2011 at 6:14 pm
Pricilla, I wish I had four stomachs… three for treats and one for regular food.
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog post ..My Holiday Best!
December 24th, 2011 at 1:09 pm
You should hang around my house when all 8 of my kids are home. Most of us are word buffs and come up with words quite frequently.
Sometimes they become part of the vocabulary for years.
One favorite is how little children need to get hugs and reassurance from time to time: fillaments.
You see, they get filled with love and affection like a nutrient.
December 24th, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Making up words is definitely an American hobby. For instance, ‘monetize’ wasn’t a word until recently.
But English has a long history of adding new words to its vocabulary, which is probably why English will eventually take over the whole planet, it’s just a matter of time.
Josh Whedon got it wrong in Firefly – there will be no melding of Mandarin with English, because English is just way cooler.
Btw, I don’t understand how you derived Charminimum from having a last roll of TP.
Richard Catto´s last blog post ..Californication Season 4, Hank’s trial
December 25th, 2011 at 6:29 am
cariogirl — And I’ve done that. Occasionally I’ll run into someone who’s never had coffee. But you have to wake them up first because they’re usually exhaustified.
AFTR — Love that! Not only mispronouncing it, but saying it real loud, as though that will help the receiver understand you, right?
Pricilla — That’s quite an elaborate stomach system you have there. Are you the only animal that has so many bellehs?
Daisy the Curly Cat — Me too! Except one of my extras would be reserved for bacon, another for chocolate, and the third for cookie dough ice cream. My stomachs would be very specific.
Colin — I love “fillaments!” That’s so dear. And it makes perfect sense!
Richard Catto — Yeah, “monetize” is a weird one. When I use it regarding my blog, most people don’t understand what it means. So I usually have to explain, which defeats the purpose of having a unique word to describe something, eh? Mandarin with English? Oh, boy. I’d be doomed. Re: “Charminimum,” a popular brand of TP in the U.S. is called Charmin.
December 25th, 2011 at 4:02 pm
Another real life LOL! I see people make up words on blogs fairly regularly, but not a formal message from a company. That’s why God made spell checkers and grammar checkers, isn’t it?
I actually came by simply to wish you a very happy Christmas, Kathy!
Pretend there’s mistletoe… XXOO.
🙂
Ferd´s last blog post ..Merry Christmas Alone
December 26th, 2011 at 12:09 am
Subjectify – to force someone into an experience they would not have otherwise chosen for themselves, especially verbally with regard to ones ailments or life issues.
Audititis – a condition of inflammation resulting from subjectification. 🙂
Hooker´s last blog post ..People We Should Delete on Facebook
December 28th, 2011 at 5:30 pm
These are hilarious, and some in the comments too.
Myne Whitman´s last blog post ..A Love Rekindled makes AfriKan Goddess Top 10 Books of 2011
December 29th, 2011 at 9:14 pm
I have those college dreams all the time, and worse; I dream I’m back in high school, haven’t been to my classes in weeks, and can’t find my way around, and when I try to tell someone “I’m not supposed to be here; I already did this” they ask me for my hall pass.
Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog post ..Advanced Domesticity: A Flailer’s Guide
January 1st, 2012 at 10:02 pm
I love this! Really made me chuckle. I have a 17 year old son and the slang he and his friends they have is like an entirely new language. However, when they are trying to be serious, the words they come up with are amazing.
Also wanted to with you a healthy, happy and prosperous 2012!
Ugly Truth News´s last blog post ..Famous Family Fatso’s
January 4th, 2012 at 11:41 pm
I make up words ALL the time. I’ve even made blogs about me making up words. I believe the only people who don’t make up words are those who haven’t one IQota of creativity.
Love #9…and am so incredibly guilty of #10 you would NOT believe…in fact, I might even make my next blog about it…and use your word if you wouldn’t mind (credit given, of course).
Mariann´s last blog post ..Top Ten Things That Have Been Bugging Me
January 5th, 2012 at 10:57 pm
Great point about the word monthletized – leave it to an insurance company to come up with that one! In regards to ‘dinnerate’, that reminds me of what I call ‘linner’ – a large meal eaten between the hours of lunch and dinner, aka ‘dunch’. 🙂
January 7th, 2012 at 10:22 am
Monthletized??? Good grief. No, you can’t just make things up like that, especially not if you have to explain what you mean – you’re right, that should have been a big clue!!!
I’d be very tempted to write back with my own extemporanalealised words – minus the explanations – and say that you do not feel enableratized to continue customerisation of a premiumeration company which is unable to readify a dictionarethaurus and calculatate billing in a more simplificated accountameration programme.
BTW, we used to have Charmin here, but it got re-branded ‘Cushelle’ for some reason.
January 8th, 2012 at 7:21 pm
Kathy, my dog Sally Fedexcitates daily when the Fedex person deliverates the house next door. I have certain tools that don’t “Functionate” properly at times, but that might be a user interface issue. (Sometimes I am mechanically “retardated.”)
Chris Casey´s last blog post ..A movie that made me think: The Descendants
January 10th, 2012 at 2:06 pm
I have a similar problem with my husband. He routinely uses nouns as verbs i.e. “I’m going to broom the front porch.” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH If he turns up dead it was me. I gunned him.
Nora Blithe´s last blog post ..Dressing Habits of Whooping Cranes
January 14th, 2012 at 1:19 am
I’m a bit fan of FedExcitation. Its always manages to make my day!
Anwar´s last blog post ..Friday Photo: Statue — Brussels
January 25th, 2012 at 4:32 am
Is Guestimate a word yet? it totally should be.
So should Betterize, computerize, and Girlize.
Deaderizer should be the new “killer”
politicize should be the new word for “not answering a question with a straight answer”.
Crayonize (colorize)…
By the way, this psot is an example of Dictionizing new words
March 13th, 2012 at 7:24 pm
Suicscion – those driving suicidally in a Scion?
July 17th, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Yup, Guesstimate is a word. Pretty sure it has been for several years now, David. I don’t know about all those other weird words you’re throwing out, though…except maybe colorize…
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