I Hate This Commercial With the White Hot Intensity of a Thousand Suns
Stuff I hate May 6th, 2012There are a lot of things that irritate me. In fact, I have a whole category on Junk Drawer devoted to “Stuff I Hate.” That doesn’t sound healthy, does it?
Anyway, fewer things annoy me more right now than the jingle at the end of the Empire Today carpet commercial that runs in my area. For all I know it may run nationally and everyone else’s ears are bleeding, too.
Or maybe it doesn’t bother you and I’m the only one who needs to sign up for crankiness management classes.
Mind you, it’s not the whole commercial I hate. It’s just the jingle at the end.
The saving grace is that I can see or hear the commercial coming on and have ample time to dive for the remote to change the channel or mute it.
So what’s wrong with the jingle?
It’s a singing phone number jingle and I hate those so much that I want to cry. I know. That’s not a sane reaction. I shouldn’t be this bothered.
But I am.
What’s worse is that I still have a problem when I’m visiting my mother and it comes on her TV.
There, I’m in a Remote Control Unawareness Zone.
It seems to move a lot. At any given time, I don’t know where her remote is, so I can’t get to it fast enough to change the channel.
And then I have to hear it against my will.
I have to hear this.
And I hate it.
Hate.
It.
So.
Much.
The singing phone number jingle:
Also? Empire people? You think you’ve won by writing a singing jingle? You think that phone number of yours will get stuck in my head and you’ll be the first ones I call when I need carpeting?
No. I specifically avoid you, avoid hearing your number, and now you done gone and made me blog about how annoying it is.
It’s a wonder you can sleep at night.
Now where do I sign up for those Cranky McCrankster classes?
Stumble it!
May 6th, 2012 at 6:29 pm
You know what’s really sad? When you mentioned the commercial, I was able to recite the number.
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May 6th, 2012 at 6:31 pm
OMC they still run that ad? I remember it from when I lived up north!!!! Add me to the cranky McCrankster classes if I have to listen to that again!!!
The Florida Furkids and Lexi
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May 6th, 2012 at 6:38 pm
Ah, come on… the song is a throwback to the old TV commercials from the 60s. I can hear the NBC peacock ‘bong bong bong’ following right behind it as they lead into Bonanza. Why do you hate 60s TV Kathy? What did my childhood ever do to you?
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May 6th, 2012 at 6:54 pm
“In fact, I have a whole category on Junk Drawer devoted to “Stuff I Hate.” That doesn’t sound healthy, does it?”
Yes, it’s sounds VERY healthy as a matter of fact. I hate certain things too, but at least we admit it instead of pretending to like it and being PHONY LIKERS – HA!
Being someone who doesn’t watch TV, I’ve not seen or HEARD this commercial, but I have to say….I see what you mean about the jiggle. It sounds like The Andrew Sisters!!!
X
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May 6th, 2012 at 6:58 pm
Oh they have been bleeding our ears up north too for years ! (that is if we tune into the American channels)
I like the Jingle, As soon as you mentioned the name, I had to sing out “one eight hundred five eight eight two three hundred… empire ! Today !”
There is its nemesis Canada that goes by the name Alexanian’s Carpet and Flooring – at the end of every ad they sing out the name of the company “Alexanian’s !”
May 6th, 2012 at 7:02 pm
OMG! We don’t even HAVE that company in my area! But, thanks to the wonders of modern day cable, I STARTED SINGING THE SONG the second I SAW THE PICTURE in your post. I feel like Homeland Security should do something about this clear and evident brainwashing.
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May 6th, 2012 at 7:34 pm
Have always hated their jingle. And yes, it’s reviled across the nation, thanks to the miracle of cable television.
When I have need for new flooring, which is seldom, I go to a nearby place called Carpet USA. Except I like to call it “Carpetusa.” Like, rhymes with “medusa.” Because this amuses me, I always shop there.
Apparently I am an idiot, but it keeps me out of trouble.
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May 6th, 2012 at 7:54 pm
Actually I couldn’t even make out the phone number they were singing. I had to play it twice and follow it on the screen. I’ve already forgotten it, so it definitely wouldn’t work with me.
The ads I hate the most are those that shout as loud as possible and at the speed of light, in order to cram as much in their 60 seconds as possible. I could happily throw something very heavy at the TV.
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May 6th, 2012 at 10:29 pm
Those of us in the Chicagoland area know it without the 800. All you have to do is hum it, and everyone of all ages know it by heart. Personally, I find the commercial with the screaming/crying adults more disturbing.
May 7th, 2012 at 5:11 am
I am there with you. However, that is not a throw-back, That was been Empire’s music for decades! I am with Kathy C….if you’re from Chicago or Milwaukee, in my case, you have ALWAYS known the tune and the phone number. I have noticed the cartoon buffoon has aged in the last decade. The guy must 80 years old now!
May 7th, 2012 at 5:14 am
Part of the problem is they play it way too often. But I have their stupid number memorized, too.
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May 7th, 2012 at 5:26 am
Laura — Well, you’re definitely not alone there. I know the reason I can’t recall the number is that I think I only actually heard it maybe five times. Those were the incidents where I couldn’t shut it off first. Man, I’m so glad I don’t know the number!
The Florida Furkids — Classes start next Monday. And you have to leave any ear protection at home. They make you listen to this and other annoying commercials for the whole class. Something about “immersion.”
Jeff — And that’s why I hate them! It looks like someone put it together with the cheapest cartoon software, too. Seriously, is this one from the 60s? Cuz it looks and sounds like it. ARGGGGH!
Ron — We shall never be PHONY LIKERS! Never! And yes, it does sound like the Andrew Sisters. I can just picture ladies dressed in Leave it to Beaver-wear with bouffant hairdo’s, singing that God awful jingle. HATE!
Jaffer — I was about to say I was sorry you had it up north, but you like it? You really like it? But I’m glad you at least hate Alexanian’s, whatever that is. Please don’t google their jingle. I don’t wanna hear it.
Ali — I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. And that’s so not fair that it’s not even in your area and yet you’re subjected to the madness. It IS brainwashing, but I shall not be washed!
Impetua — I like your Carpetusa/Medusa thing. I would shop there too, just for the name.
Babs — Be glad! There is a senator somewhere in the states that put forth a bill to make it illegal to produce really loud commercials, at least so they aren’t any louder than other commercials or the shows their aired on. Hate those too!
Kathy C. — It’s interesting to me that it’s all over the country, at least in major city areas. I really thought it was some kind of locally-produced mess. It looks like a fifty year old commercial produced in someone’s basement.
Lynn — Then they totally need to update it! I hate that it sounds like it’s from the 60s. Incidentally, I just looked up the guy. He died a year ago. And the jingle’s been in use since 1977 and is “beloved by all in Chicagoland.” OMG. REALLY? Ugh!
Daisy the Curly Cat — I’m sorry you’ve memorized it. I feel very lucky that I haven’t. Very.
May 7th, 2012 at 5:56 am
ROFL! OK.. the minute you said the commercial, the phone number jingle went off in my head! And when we needed hardwoods, I did not call them, I went somewhere else because the jingle wasn’t stuck in my head at the time. Glad they don’t play it on Pandora. heh
May 7th, 2012 at 7:55 am
Drop to your hands and knees and thank god each and every day that you don’t live in San Diego have to see and hear these every day. #Corky’spestcontrolsucks… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbfZjyaM_1g
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May 7th, 2012 at 9:34 am
That was been Empire’s music for decades! I am with Kathy C….if you’re from Chicago or Milwaukee, in my case, you have ALWAYS known the tune and the phone number.
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May 7th, 2012 at 10:10 am
I do not have a TV in my goat house so I do not know this ad. I will send Abby to butt him if you want
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May 7th, 2012 at 11:36 am
Yep – I know that commercial. It sounds like a 1950s syrupy sing song thingie, so I can see why you’d hate it. Of course, you realize if you’re ever captured by terrorists, this is how they will get you to sing like a canary.
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May 7th, 2012 at 11:37 am
“Google their Jingle” You are hilarious !
Sounds like a pickup line !
“Hey Babe… You wanna to Google my Jingle ?”
May 7th, 2012 at 3:49 pm
I kind of like the Empire commercial because it harkens back to the ‘Ideal’ commercial, or the one I remember from childhood “Call TI4-two two hundred, that’s the number for the plumber”
BUT
The JG Wentworth commercial with the opera singers….that makes me want to pull out my eyebrows.
“I have a structured settlement and I NEED CASH NOW.”
AAAAAHHHH. I can’t imagine being so desperate for s singing/acting gig that I’d sing that song willingly.
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May 7th, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Devon — I’m glad you didn’t call them. We can’t let them think it actually works. We’re trying to save my brain, people. OK, are you ready for this? From Wikipedia: “[the jingle] has been covered in concert by such platinum selling recording artists as Pearl Jam.” There is no God, I tell you.
Emergfit — Oh dear God. So I’m sure the casting call went something like “If you can act like one batshit crazy woman rolling all around on the grass about ants, we want you.” God. I’m thankful indeed. I’ve never seen that until now.
Claire — I’m still cracking up that the article about the jingle states that Chicagoans just love that jingle. I say prove it!
Pricilla — Yes, I want.
Nanny Goats — Har! And I would sing loud and long.
Jaffer — It does and it sounds like fun!
Shieldmaiden — Oh, I would love it if you could find that Ideal commercial again. I remember you sent me a link once when we had a discussion that involved old commercials. I do love the Ideal song. I don’t recall either of the others you mentioned, but opera singers? No thanks!
May 7th, 2012 at 9:16 pm
Here’s the one you wanted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RREFJGmeJR4
And here is one that no one, ever, ever wants.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbGw3A9Dg-Q
Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog post ..Resistance Was Indeed Futile
May 8th, 2012 at 11:03 am
AHHHHHH! Not that Empire ad! We get that commercial here as well. Makes me thankful I DVR most of the TV shows I watch, so I can fast forward through the commercials.
TiVo and DVR devices have to be one of the few technological advances I truly love and support!
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May 8th, 2012 at 6:25 pm
Shieldmaiden — THANK YOU! Can you believe I didn’t mind having Ideal in my head all day?! Sent it to a coworker who hates me now, though. I couldn’t make it through the opera one. No freaking way. Thanks for linking me up!
D. Duplessis — I’m right with ya, brotha. The only problem is sometimes when I FF, I catch the end of Empire before the show starts up again and I have to hear even a second of it. Still drives me insane. Just one little bit of it!
May 8th, 2012 at 7:11 pm
I know that commercial. And it drives me INSANE too! I get all stabby the second I hear that jingle. I have to MUTE the TV as soon as it comes on.
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May 9th, 2012 at 12:49 pm
We have that ad here and I never found it all that annoying. What does annoy me is the J.G. Wentworth “if you need cash now” ads. They sing all the way through it. Grrrrrr!
May 9th, 2012 at 6:12 pm
A couple that bug me…1-877-KARS FOR KIDS. The jingle alone will keep me from donating even a Matchbox car. I also can’t stand the new “5% Cash Back” adds with the guy rattling off rhymes . . . I think it’s the guy’s voice along with the fact that the line “5% cash back” doesn’t fit the syllabic structure. But maybe I’m over-thinking it.
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May 10th, 2012 at 8:10 pm
I never remember the phone number .. just the last EMPIRE … ! But the guy on the commercial has always reminded me of my dad who I had a troubled relationship with so the whole thing is weird to me.
May 11th, 2012 at 10:46 am
Hilarious. That stupid jingle gets stuck in my head. EVERY TIME. I hear it. In a similar fashion, the “K9 Advantage” commercial gets stuck in my head (“Hello mother! Hello father! Fleas, ticks, mosquitos, they really bother! Thanks for the package, it’s why I’m writing, K9 Advantage helped stop the biting”) I know that entire thing BY heart. Sad. and irritating.
May 14th, 2012 at 5:53 pm
Aaaarrrggghhh! I hate this jingle too. And now it’s running a hellish loop in my brain.
No, I will not be calling Empire, today or ever! Curse you Empire!
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom´s last blog post ..My Favorite Mother’s Day
May 14th, 2012 at 10:04 pm
Oh I HATE that commercial! But the one I literally have to leave the room for? That one where people jump out of the airplane and you hear that “hah hah hah” electronic noise. It freaking FREAKS ME OUT!
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May 15th, 2012 at 2:32 pm
The same commercial runs here in California. I can’t say I hate it with the same intensity you do, but I still dislike it when some one asks for my phone number and the first number to pop into my head is from this commercial. good luck with the classes!
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May 15th, 2012 at 9:55 pm
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May 16th, 2012 at 11:11 am
I hate the commercials like that, there are two that are on all the time, they’re so annoying. And why is it that the most obnoxious ones get permenatly burned into your brain?
May 16th, 2012 at 11:40 am
Uh, Kathy…none of us think that is unhealthy since I’m pretty sure we are all equally whack!
This brings to mind our Stanley Steamer commercial in Rochester, and for two reasons. The first is Toby, the ass-scooting, hashmark leaving dog. And second, the jingle is insidious. Sadly, I actually use this company Bc they are the only ones who get traffic stains out permanently (do you hear that, Sears?!).
http://www.youtube.com/blogs/id/wuxtfmg502Y
May 16th, 2012 at 11:45 am
Oops..this is the correct link:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OvXX–z1loc
May 17th, 2012 at 1:04 am
Haha. Yes, that one is annoying. The one I really can’t stand, though, is the one for Kars for Kids. Arghh!
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May 17th, 2012 at 5:33 pm
I feel the same way about MOST commercials…DVR is seriously my best friend.
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May 18th, 2012 at 4:25 pm
I hate that little claymation guy kneeling at the end, too. He’s creepy.
June 13th, 2012 at 7:11 am
I came to the conclusion that everybody hates this ad, by the way I haven’t seen it for a while already
April 26th, 2013 at 12:45 am
I think today’s commercials rock! I purposely turn the volume way up on some commercials cause they rock. McDonald’s commercials are some of the coolest when they sing “I’m lovin’ it, ba, ba, ba.”