Beware the Flying Cookie Dough
food, Stupid things I do December 20th, 2012
So I get an email from a friend today. She’s asking me when and where I’ll be available tomorrow for her to drop something off for me.
Because it’s probably a Christmas gift and I want to return the favor, I decide to head to the store to buy some Toll House Cookie Dough and make her a cookie gift bag.
I grab a two-dozen package and head to the checkout. Pay for the dough and then because I’m wearing soft gloves, when I quickly pick up the slippery plastic package, it goes flying right out of my hand and into a lady bagging her groceries in the next aisle.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I don’t normally throw food at people!”
I continue, “You know why I’m buying these? Because I just know someone’s going to gift me tomorrow and I didn’t have anything for her and you know how awkward it is when someone gives you something and you don’t have anything to give in return? This is why Christmas stresses me out! Really, I’m sooooo sorry!!!!”
She stood there, smiling pitifully at me, as I scoop up my cookie dough from the floor at her ankles.
All she could muster at the sight of my mortified self was “I hope you have a Merry Christmas anyway.”
God bless you, stranger lady who I threw food at. I’m so happy you had pity on me and weren’t some Scrooge person who would sue me for cookie dough assault and battery.
I hope you have a Merry Christmas, too.
Stumble it!
December 20th, 2012 at 7:05 pm
I love how you immediately start oversharing! Love it! This is precisely why I like you so much.
Margaret´s last blog post ..Goat Thing: Christmas Edition 2012
December 20th, 2012 at 7:05 pm
Feel free to throw cookie dough at me anytime, Kathy!
Boom Boom Larew´s last blog post ..How I Almost Missed My 15 Minutes of Fame
December 20th, 2012 at 10:39 pm
I was once on a flight on some small regional airline, the kind where the plane doesn’t have a kitchen area, but instead they just store snacks in one of the overhead compartments and pass them out during the flight. I happened to be sitting under the snack compartment, which was filled with little packets of cookies (you know, the kind that’s maybe four Oreos in a plastic wrapper) and, as it turns out, not secured properly. So when they opened the compartment, all the cookies rained down on me, and I burst out laughing.
So my point is — speaking as someone who’s been there: don’t feel bad. Being hit by flying cookies is hilarious.
Laura´s last blog post ..A Christmas Poem
December 21st, 2012 at 5:00 am
Margaret — I have a tendency, don’t I? And all I could think was “She really doesn’t need to know all this.” But you know how it goes. You start explaining and you just can’t stop!
Boom Boom — Are you a good catch, tho?
Laura — That is awesome. I would love for cookies to rain down on me. I think you should have asked for a discount on your plane ticket for your suffering. Or at least be given all the cookies to eat. It’s only fair.
December 21st, 2012 at 6:15 am
You could throw delicious treats at me if you want!
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog post ..My Holiday Best
December 21st, 2012 at 6:19 am
Ah, Daisy. You’re always thinkin’! I hope Santa throws some cookies your way 🙂 Oh, wait. You’re supposed to give Santa the cookies. Never mind.
December 21st, 2012 at 9:04 am
Somewhere, Tiny Tim is smiling…
December 21st, 2012 at 11:08 am
If you are going to throw something at me I would much prefer pieces of apple OK? Merry Christmaaaaaa
Pricilla – Famous SpokesGoat´s last blog post ..A Christmaaaaa Carol by Charles DickensGoat
December 21st, 2012 at 11:58 am
Kathy – they did give me extra cookies. They actually seemed really relieved that I wasn’t mad.
Laura´s last blog post ..A Christmas Poem
December 21st, 2012 at 7:45 pm
I’d really like the cookies with icing to be tossed at me please. Already baked would be preferable. 🙂
December 21st, 2012 at 8:17 pm
That is hilarious- a cookie dough package howitzer. Maybe wars would turn out differently if we did use that for ammunition.
sharkbytes´s last blog post ..Slush and (Good) Stuff
December 21st, 2012 at 8:22 pm
I think god was punishing you because you were buying cookie dough instead of making the dough yourself.
Some of my best conversations are with those strangers in the store–which just happen on accident. I find people like to be silly with me….always a good thing. Of course, it mortifies my family. 🙂 Yep…that’s the point.
December 22nd, 2012 at 10:03 pm
HILARIOUS!
Kathy, this sounds EXACTLY like something that would happen to me, I kid you not. I’m FOREVER dropping things out of my hands. I’ve nicknamed myself, Butter Fingers!
Wishing you, hubby, and your family a MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Hopefully, you, the girls and I can get together sometime in January to celebrate a belated Christmas with one another. Looking forward to it!
X ya!
December 23rd, 2012 at 5:36 am
Baba Booey — “God bless us everyone! And the lady who didn’t sue.”
Pricilla — So, not whole apples that can take your head off? Ok.
Laura — LMAO. Extra cookies are worth a bruise on your noggin, for sure.
Bette Jo — OMG. I love cookies with icing! The problem is I can only buy them in packs of 20 and they’re like chips to me. I can’t eat just one, and then it ends bad.
sharkbytes — Har. LMAO. Yes indeedy! Really, that thing was like a brick.
Lin — I haven’t made my own Toll House in like two decades. Now I feel guilty. I know you love to mortify your family, which is why it’s so great that you blast them on the blog. I’m glad you let Joe have it for moving your hobo train.
Ron — Mmmm, butter fingers! BTW, this is the same store where I dropped that giant jar of pickles and they went flying everywhere. I still think my face is plastered up in the back room with a warning next to it. I just wrote V about getting together. I know we’re still on for a meet-up in January. Have to see how M’s doing though. She’s in the hospital right now.
December 27th, 2012 at 8:26 am
I was waiting for the mortifying twist when you realised that the person you just threw dough at was the friend who was coming over.