So you know how you’re all fresh and newly married and you care how you look?

You dress like a human for your spouse because they deserve to look at someone even remotely presentable.

You dress like you could even leave the house in the clothes you’re wearing to, oh, maybe check the mailbox.

And then.

And then 20 years of marriage later you just really don’t care any more and you’re even afraid to check the mailbox because a neighbor might see you in your tattered clothes and they’ll start a crowd funding campaign so you can get a new wardrobe that you can wear in public.

Yeah.

I’ve had these shorts for like 10 years. They’re my favorite pair. Yes, that’s a series of giant holes in the butt region. Didn’t care. That’s also a hole in the crotch. Also didn’t care.

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And that’s the elastic waistband showing through from a thousand washings. Didn’t care.

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Today I finally cared. I bought a brand new pair of shorts at Wal-mart for $7. Seven measly dollars that I apparently couldn’t find in the budget for the last 10 years.

So let’s hear it, folks. What exactly are you getting away with wearing that is years beyond its useful life?

I know there’s something.

Stumble it!