Lunatic in Aisle 9
embarrassing April 11th, 2014
It’s always something with me.
I went to Wegmans after work today for some grocery shopping. Grabbed one of those two-tiered shopping carts that are smaller than a regular cart, but bigger than a hand basket.
I got about 10 feet from the cart corral before realizing I had an unbelievably loud and annoying “crazy wheel” in the front. You know, the one that does whatever it wants, when it wants.
The bad seed.
Because I always think I can somehow jerk it back into a normal wheel position and make it behave, I kept using the cart – pushing harder, making zig zag turns, cursing at it – but nothing worked and now I was so far from the corral.
Too late to go back and get a normal cart. I’ll just deal with this. But how can I make this thing quieter? Honestly, I sounded like a car crash, screeching metal on metal, so loud everyone turned around to look and get out of my way.
I quickly decided that if the crazy wheel didn’t actually touch the floor, it couldn’t make any noise.
So I basically popped a wheelie with the cart and drove it down each aisle on its hind wheels.
No, this didn’t look goofy at all.
Toothpaste. Put the cart down. Pop a wheelie. Move along.
Tissues. Put the cart down. Pop a wheelie. Move along.
Coffee creamer. Put the cart down. Pop a wheelie. Move along.
No, not goofy at all.
My wheelie shopping was a success until I collected too many things that I couldn’t pop wheelies anymore.
So I went back to screeching and having a perpetual car accident all the way through the rest of the store, paid for my stuff and got the hell outta there.
My advice? Just take the damn thing back and get another one because you can’t win with a screwy wheel. Not even if you drive it on two good wheels and do all your shopping like it’s the first time you’ve ever seen a shopping cart and don’t know how to use it.
Stumble it!
April 11th, 2014 at 7:35 pm
Abandon that retched thing and go get another one. Let the store folks figure out for themselves why that dad-blasted cart was left alone on aisle 3. 😉
ReformingGeek´s last blog post ..The Cat’s Got Her Tongue
April 11th, 2014 at 9:07 pm
[…] By Kathy […]
April 12th, 2014 at 5:55 am
Ha! My favorite part was the phrase, “pop a wheelie”. We used to say that when we were kids riding bikes and… well, popping wheelies! Do kids say that anymore? I haven’t heard that in a long time. It ranks right up there with “peeling out.” 😀
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April 12th, 2014 at 6:04 am
Dabbing my eyes cause LOL so hard…love it!
April 12th, 2014 at 8:07 am
“Whatever do you mean,” I gasp in disbelief. “I NEVER have a cart go all wobble and pop wheelies.”
🙂
Nora Blithe´s last blog post ..Vehicular Needs
April 12th, 2014 at 8:55 am
The squeaking wouldn’t bother me…but the wonky, sticky wheel would drive me nuts. I’ve been known to squeak my wet shoes through an entire store to drive my husband batty. And I’ve found that other customers are more than willing to join me in my squeaking as I giggle through the store.
They really should have an “out to pasture” for those old carts that go wonky. Why do they continue to use them? Ugh.
Lin´s last blog post ..And I shall call you "Squishy"
April 12th, 2014 at 2:36 pm
This happens to me, but I’ve never done the wheelie thing! You’re creative and I think you’ve started a new sport!
Heather´s last blog post ..Bedtime Math Stories
April 12th, 2014 at 3:20 pm
Lmao, popping wheelies in a supermarket. What I would have given to see that!
You and I must be on the same wave length because I just wrote a post about shopping cart drivers.
Hopefully someone will have trashed that cart before you go back. 🙂
April 12th, 2014 at 3:40 pm
Reforming Geek — Wow, I hadn’t considered abandonment. Would I, could I abandon? That sounds so daring, so gutsy. But a lot less embarrassing than doing wheelies in the store. Noted.
Ferd — Do kids even ride bikes anymore? I think I see more kids on skateboards than bikes, but happy to see them on either because it means they’re not indoors in front of a screen. You know, like me. Right now.
Marlene — Glad you liked it!
Nora — I would love to see another person try this. I would laugh with them, not at them.
Lin — Yes, they should have a special area for carts in need of troubleshooting. I wonder what they even do with them. Do they even try to fix them ever? Inquiring minds want to know. As for your squeaky shoes, it sounds like you embrace it. I try to act like it’s not me, which is of course, impossible.
Heather — It’s really very easy when there isn’t much in your cart. It’s very smooth, actually, and fun trying to keep it level on two wheels. Maybe I should try to start a trend?
Suzanne — I loved your post! I’m absolutely a Purposeful Shopper. Outta my way! I’m sharing your post with my sister, who despises people who block aisles. She is merciless. Gives them mere seconds to move, otherwise, plows right through. I feel the same way. I can be polite for a moment, but if you act like you’re the only person in the store, then you deserve to be mowed over.
April 12th, 2014 at 8:16 pm
OMG Kathy, I laughed my butt off reading this because I can’t tell you HOW MANY times this happens to me when I use a cart at the grocery store!
“Just take the damn thing back and get another one because you can’t win with a screwy wheel.”
Amen…and that’s exactly what I end up doing because it drives me INSANE.
Great post, girl!
X
Ron´s last blog post ..A Sure Way Not To Forget The Toilet Paper
April 13th, 2014 at 8:16 am
You’d think that our beloved Wegman’s, being the number one grocery store in the nation, would winnow out all the squeaky carts. Otherwise how can they ever expect to maintain their #1 title?
Boom Boom Larew´s last blog post .."Wooters’ Hooters" or "That time when my boob went to Florida without me"
April 13th, 2014 at 1:24 pm
I hate those nasty wheels that go their own way. Stores should inspect their carts regularly and get rid of those that don’t behave as they should.
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April 14th, 2014 at 10:02 am
Starting a shopping cart repair business sounds like a lucrative idea. I wonder what grocery managers would say if someone walked in and asked, “I was just wondering if you have any carts that need repairing?” Would they send them home with you, or would they set up a spot for you to work in the back of the store? You could get a special truck that has a cart coral inside and hit every store in three towns. I think you may have just spurred a new field of employment into action.
April 14th, 2014 at 11:05 am
Maybe they need a test drive area. I often get a crappy cart and struggle through the store trying to be quiet or keep it going straight. You know the ones that veer off to one side or another and you’re constantly fighting it so you don’t run into other shoppers.
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April 18th, 2014 at 8:53 pm
Oh my. Wegmans is crazy enough without the berserk shopping cart! No shopping list can ever prepare me to face the goodies I want that aren’t on – or near – my list!
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April 26th, 2014 at 9:35 pm
A few years ago, there was a stellar movie called “The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio”. There was one horribly genuine scene where the father oils the wheel of his wife’s shopping cart. After reading this, I want more than anything to go fix that wheel. It’s just sitting there-sad and dejected. At least you were kind enough to give it an adventure!
June 6th, 2014 at 8:19 am
This why I send the wife to do the shopping. She’s used to wheely bad screeching. :p
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