We Have Cats Because They’re Not Dogs. And Yet…
cats October 25th, 2014So I’ve never been a dog person. First, because I was attacked by a German shepherd as a child. That’ll turn you off dogs for good, lemme tell ya.
Second, because dogs eat stuff they shouldn’t, break stuff and need to be taken out for walks. I’m a very easily annoyed and lazy person, so there you go.
And yet, I appear to have a dog anyway. A new cat named Chloe, renamed Chewy.
Why renamed Chewy?
Because of this:
This is the HDMI cable from our upstairs TV that suddenly wouldn’t work. Took 45 minutes on the phone with a perplexed RCN tech support guy before I realized the cable had been chewed. Swapped out for another and bingo! TV works. Thanks, Chewy.
And this:
This is my husband Dave’s bass cable. He made the mistake of leaving it out of the case. It still works. For now.
And this:
No, she didn’t do all this damage, but she does have a weird habit during her morning feeding routine.
When I grab food out of the pantry, where the broom is stored, she’ll squeal a bit and then start gnawing on the bristles until I have the food plopped down on a plate.
Every morning. Pantry, squeal, gnaw, plop. Pantry, squeal, gnaw, plop.
And now she’s turned to breaking things. This morning when I was trying to sleep in late, which for me is 6AM, Chewy would have none of it.
When I didn’t get up at 4:45AM as she demanded, she pushed this large-ish lamp right off the bedside table.
Really? We’re deliberately shoving lamps off tables now? Who does that?
When the lamp landed, I heard some metal breakage and now it won’t turn on again. Well, it did for a moment, long enough to get a flash of light and then darkness.
Jerk.
She broke the lamp that we bought 22 years ago with our bedroom furniture. I know a lamp really can’t have sentimental value, but, dammit, we really liked it.
Well, I’m up now. So let’s go get you fed, jerk dog in cat’s clothing.
I suppose I owe you a picture of Chewy. We have so few clear pictures of her because she’s such a spaz and won’t sit still for long. She’s hilarious, playful and weird and we love her to bits.
You know, when she’s not wrecking the place.
Stumble it!
October 25th, 2014 at 7:43 am
She looks like a handful. Good to see another blog post Kathy!
October 25th, 2014 at 7:45 am
Ha ha ha! I love her new name!
Need I tell you that Jenny is forever stealing household items and running around with them in her mouth. If we don’t catch her, she proceeds to rabbit kick them and chew them up. I have decided that some cats, just believe they are dogs!
Chloe (Chewy) is beautiful!
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October 25th, 2014 at 7:54 am
ALL: I want to thank those of you who’ve written to me privately, stopped me in a hallway, or left a comment on another post to ask where the hell am I and why am I not blogging anymore? It was nice to be missed. And thank you for prodding me to do something about it.
Sam — Yep, she is. She’s also a biter of human flesh and a screamer when you try to hold her like a baby.
Babs — Jenny is such a funny little girl. Was so nice to have met her. She’s a beauty AND a lunatic! I’m still laughing about the picture you posted on Facebook of all the stuff she managed to toss under your refrigerator. Keep an eye on everything, but if it’s missing, you know who to blame.
October 25th, 2014 at 8:29 am
Perhaps some rawhide chews??
October 25th, 2014 at 8:36 am
First….I am soooo happy to see a post today! I miss The Junk Drawer.
Damn cat. She is pretty though.
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October 25th, 2014 at 9:07 am
Clever post, Kathy! When I first read your post title I thought you were going to say that you got a dog.
Chewy is ADORABLE! I had a cat (Jerry) who looked a lot like Chewy. He was a tabby.
At one time I had two cats (Zoe and Jerry), Jerry was the kind of cat that was very gentle, delicate and passive. He could walk on a kitchen counter or table and not knock over anything. However, Zoe was completely different. She was my little demon cat who would tear through my apartment and knock over everything in her path. She also loved to tear up toilet paper and Q-tips and leave them all over my apartment.
It’s funny how cats can all be different, isn’t it?
Glad to see you back blogging again, my friend! Have a super weekend!
X
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October 25th, 2014 at 12:54 pm
First off – Check out “Sally Forth” in the Sunday (10/26)comics – you’ll appreciate it (as will all cat owners). We had a chewer – the cords on all the blinds – gone. Shoelaces – we kept a large supply of replacements. Zuzu almost went back to the home after she chewed the wires of my husband’s Bose headphones…Cats are who they are!
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October 25th, 2014 at 3:55 pm
Chewy and trashy for trashing your house. She’s adorable. She’d get along well with my two dogs if she doesn’t scare them.
My dogs ate two couches in the basement and used to gut pillows. I would come home after work and find stuffing all over the lawn. It looked like Christmas in July.
Thankfully they’ve stopped eating couches and gutting pillows. Though one still eats paper towels and Kleenex.
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October 25th, 2014 at 4:06 pm
Most of the cords in my house are covered by fabric or wrapped with tape (of course it can’t be plastic tape because one of my cats eats plastic). Sigh….
Oh, and there’s nothing on my night table that can be knocked off.
October 25th, 2014 at 4:10 pm
Shadowsrider — That might actually work, if they were in the shape of important and expensive wiring.
Lin — I’m glad to be back and hope it’s more regular. It’s good to be regular, you know. Yes, Chewy is a pretty girl. Just really disrespectful of our things. Like, she never destroys her own stuff, right?
Ron — I love that each of our cats (we’ve had five together) are so different, each with their own special quirks and qualities. Stinky was our very best kitty, the sweetest kitty that ever lived. The others are/were just total goofballs. Q-tips are truly the best cat toys ever invented that never set out to be cat toys.
Grace — I like your idea of shoelaces. I think those would be safe enough to leave around the house. I would be livid if anything was damaged on a Bose. Those aren’t cheap! The worst was years ago when Lucky was a chewer for a time. He got at our phone wiring twice, had to replace cabling, not cheap. But then I bought these great little cheap plastic covers to slip over wires. I need more of them, especially for our HDMI cables, which aren’t inexpensive.
Lauren — I had to re-read this three times “My dogs ate two couches….” See, this is why no dogs for me. Also, there’s that pooping-in-your-shoes thing. Do you have to deal with that? I cannot deal with poop in wrong places.
Joan — We had a plastic-eating cat, too. Shadow, the one who loved drinking water straight from the faucet. We would leave out packages of toilet paper so she could much on the plastic wrap. She did this every morning as part of her routine before walking downstairs to get fed. I miss her and I miss that, and dare I say I miss her at the faucet.
October 25th, 2014 at 10:54 pm
No, the shoelaces weren’t FOR Zuzu – we needed a a large replacement supply because she chewed them – while your shoes were on your feet even – she was not my husband’s favorite cat!
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October 26th, 2014 at 5:57 am
I suggest you rename her ‘Miley’ because she came in like a wrecking ball.
Just pray she does not start twerking her fat bushy bum in your face.
October 26th, 2014 at 9:42 am
No pooping in shoes, Kathy. But when we had a cat, the dog would jump the fence and eat the poop in the cat box. They also like to eat dirt.
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October 26th, 2014 at 2:56 pm
One of my cats did this when she was a kitten. Thankfully she grew out of it!
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October 26th, 2014 at 3:17 pm
Grace — Oh, har! But I still like the idea of tossing a handful of laces all around the house to give her something else to ruin. Boy, Zuzu was one persistent kitty!
Richard Catto — Good to see you back at the Junk Drawer. I’m really happy to still have interested readers. Chewy does her own rendition of twerking, which usually involves getting all up in my face when I’m trying to prepare anything in the kitchen!
Lauren — I will never understand why a dog would eat its or anyone else’s poop? Shouldn’t that be something wired in them to NOT do? I don’t get it.
LadyBanana — I’m afraid Chewy is Chewy and this will always be the way she is. Although our male cat Lucky did grown out of his chewing phase eventually, so there’s hope.
October 26th, 2014 at 9:11 pm
Chances are, the lamp can be repaired if the glass is intact. Did you try a new bulb?
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October 27th, 2014 at 9:47 am
Ha! I really thought you were talking about a dog … until I saw the last photo. Loved it!
Yes, our first cat (Sheba) was a chewer until she grew out of it. I should have known we were in trouble when I saw her gnawing on a cord when we picked her up to bring her home…
Been a long time eh? I post on my art blog nowadays. Good to read The Junk Drawer again!
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October 27th, 2014 at 11:01 am
We have what we call a puppy-cat. Sophie likes to chew on pens, hubbys phone, etc. Plastic is her favorite, but she will chew on a broom if it’s left out. She also wags her tail like a dog so everything within tail’s reach is at risk.
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November 4th, 2014 at 4:33 am
My cat (Moon) often sleep in wardrobe in winter and sometimes I found he pees in there :((. It’s terrible. But I must admit that my children love him so much. I feel they’re really happy when we have Moon in home.
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November 5th, 2014 at 10:06 pm
I am so happy to have found your blog. So funny. You have a new follower. Can’t wait to read more. (okay, I just realized how much that sounded like a spam comment…sorry).
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November 9th, 2014 at 4:38 pm
Stephanie — As a matter of fact, Dave decided to see if it was the bulb and only the bulb, and it was! We’re back in business and I don’t have to send Chewy for a time out 🙂
Maureen — Our other cat, Lucky, was a chewer. We had to replace two expensive phone cords before I got smart and surrounded the wires with flex tubing. I actually accused Lucky of ruining the HDMI cable before we realized it was Chloe. It’s good to be semi-blogging again, but I’m bothered that I didn’t write anything since this post. Really wanted to try for once a week at least. Geez.
Linda — I like puppy cats for the most part. It’s the not having to take them for walks that appeals to me. One of our other cats, Shadow (RIP), used to love chewing on plastic. She had a special thing for toilet paper wrapping. Weirdo!
Bryan McDonald — Ugh. I feel your pain. A cat we had about 10 years ago, Calvin, would pee in the living room. I spent many a Saturday shampooing the rugs in the house. He was an angry cat, but we finally minimized the peeing by putting out a couple more litter boxes. That seemed to help.
Cary Vaughn — You should have come here in my heyday when I was posting twice or thrice a week. I’m trying to do better, but it’s not working. Been at blogging for 7 years. I fear I’m out of steam. p.s. Loved your idea about getting your cat to lose weight by putting the food bowl on a Roomba and making Zoe run after it in order to eat. It really is genius.
April 24th, 2015 at 5:35 am
Can’t agree more…
June 4th, 2015 at 9:52 am
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July 30th, 2015 at 8:28 pm
So funny 😀
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