Kathy Gets Lost Again, Sorta
embarrassing, Travel February 6th, 2009Yesterday a colleague asked if I wanted to attend a panel talk he was giving on the campus where we work.
Sure. Where is it?”
It’s in Whitaker Lab.
Is it in the auditorium next to the front door?
No. It’s near the back door on the parking lot side of the building.
OK, I’ll be there.
You may or may not know how directionally-challenged I am. How bad is it? Real bad. I got lost in my own neighborhood once, two tenths of a mile from my house.
Whenever I go anywhere I haven’t been a million times before, I always have reason to worry. Let the games begin.
I drive to the Whitaker building and go through the back door on the parking lot side, as instructed. No auditorium. Just a long corridor. Then classrooms. And no people. Of course, no people.
I can’t find anything that looks like a place a talk would be held. I dart into a computer lab to login and check the university event calendar hoping to get the room number. Nothing. Of course, nothing.
I look at the time. I’m going to be late.
I run up steps and down halls and make my way to the only auditorium I know in that building. It’s dark and deserted and clearly not the place.
DAM. MIT.
Sweating now, I ride elevators, travel more steps and more halls until I’m about to give up. I see doors that lead to a courtyard. If I cross it, I can go into another section of the building. Maybe it’s over there.
As soon as I exit, C-L-I-C-K. I am locked out. Of course I am.
I cross the courtyard and when I get to the opposite set of doors, I can make out a sign that reads “These doors kept locked at all times.”
Of course they are.
FRACK!
So there I am, standing in the freezing cold, sweating icicles straight from my body, having just locked myself out of the building. Stupid building!
The only way to re-enter is to walk through snow and ice around a neighboring building and come back in through the front door, which is two floors up and really far from where I entered.
At this point I’m muttering to myself that I can do this. You’re not an idiot. It’s not that hard! Where did he say to go again? Did I get it right? Where am I???
But then the muttering turns into belittling: You? You of all people want to fly alone this summer? How you gonna do that if you can’t even find a room in a building? You suck!
Ten minutes late, I’m completely broken, resigned to the fact that I’ll always be a lost person. I started to hear sad violin music in the background. I half expected a dog to walk up and pee on my leg. I work my way back to the parking lot. I’m going home a loser.
But then I have a flash of recognition. I once attended a lecture in a building adjacent to Whitaker. Yeah. The Sinclair building has an auditorium. And it’s right by the door.
BINGO!
The coffee and cookies I see outside the room are my first indication that I’m at the right place. I poke my head inside and see my colleague standing down front about to begin the talk.
What I wanted to do was yell down there “Dude! You gave me the wrong building! I hate you!”
But I didn’t. Instead, I mentally patted myself on the back, took a seat and thought I am not a doofus. I was just given bad information. And that, my friends, makes me a little less of a forever lost person.
And that makes me very happy.
Stumble it!
February 9th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
That was the best and craziest night ever! Thanks for reading it! you are awesome!
meleah rebeccah’s last blog post..The Pity Party Is Now Over
February 9th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
I can’t even comment, I have gotten lost driving home, on a route I have taken everyday for 3 years…But I know I am a victim of ‘Automatic Pilot’ syndrome, where you drive a route so often, you stop thinking about it and drift off into La La land. When you wake up, you have driven miles past your exit, or taken the wrong direction, or worst ended up in Downtown Baltimore.
shadowsrider’s last blog post..Friday LOLCat
February 9th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Grog — Welcome to the party! Oh, hell, I get lost going to the bathroom now. Yeah, it gets worse with age. Just roll with it.
Bruce — I have a GPS! Of course, I haven’t really put it to the test yet. I’m sure you’ll be reading about it at some point. Me throwing it out the window because I can’t trust it!
erin — I suspect when I take a road trip this spring, I’ll be pulling over to the side of the road a lot. And crying.
Staci — Stupid forks! OK. Here goes. When I first started dating my husband, I got lost coming home from his house. I didn’t tell him about that until years later when we happened to drive past a truck distribution center and I said “Oh, that’s where I ended up one time coming home from your place.” He said he cannot for the life of him figure out how I made it in there. He knew I was like this and still married me. Dumb as a doorknob.
Jenn Thorson — Oh, you’re going?!?! This is exciting! Hey, as long as I don’t drive into the canyon, it’ll be a success.
meleah rebeccah — I felt like I was right there the whole story. I really pitied your friend when you described her pumping gas after never having pumped gas before. Why doesn’t Jersey let you pump, anyway? I never understood that.
shadowsrider — Yep, been there, done that. And just the other day, too. I wasn’t even thinking. All of a sudden, I was a few miles past where I should have turned. What the hell is my problem?
February 10th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
I’m such a good friend I’m going to give you a tip that keep you from getting lost ever again…well at least you won’t stay lost. What you need is a GPS Pet Locator. I’m sure you could just wear it attached to your purse or belt or something. Then you would assign someone to watch your progress on a computer and come rescue you if it become necessary.
Lee’s last blog post..Crown Me
February 10th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
This is some funny stuff, enjoyed the read and the laugh, will be back!!
February 10th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Lee — Your comment slayed me today. Laughed forever. If only your idea wasn’t so genius. Runs off to check out how much one of those pet things costs….
Jimmy — Welcome aboard. And do come back. There’s more of me getting lost and generally doing stupid things if you’re up for it.
February 10th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
I was excited that my iPhone comes with Google Maps. I’ll never get lost again! Unless somebody cuts off my hands and I can’t make a Ls with my fingers to tell left from right.
You don’t want to know how many classes I dropped in college because I couldn’t find the building.
Tracy’s last blog post..Baconnaise – A Review and a Contest!
February 11th, 2009 at 7:49 am
I feel like you are writing about me! 🙂
I had a similar experience yesterday driving to the dentist. The office moved about 8 years ago and instead of taking the direct route I decided to try a different way. Bad idea.
I told my husband about it last night. He shook his head and replied, “But that’s why I got you a GPS for Christmas!”
Amber’s last blog post..Kitty and The Midnight Hour by Carrie Vaughn
February 11th, 2009 at 9:34 am
I hate it when I am given false or bad information. Congratulations on finding the right place! I do stuff like this all the time. Actually just the other day I walked into a room, couldn’t figure out why and I couldn’t figure out how to get back to where I was.
February 11th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Tracy — Excellent! And three cheers for technology, eh? Where would we be without it? I know. Lost.
Amber – Oh, I hate trying a new route. I’m setting myself up for disaster. So are you trying out the GPS yet? Do you like it? I’ve used mine on known routes, just to see how it’ll take me there. But the real test is somewhere I haven’t been before.
Abbey R — See, that’s the other problem we have. I’d venture a guess that we’re not making mental notes of what we’re passing on the way to our destination. That makes it terribly hard to backtrack, and then – BOOM! – we’re lost.
March 12th, 2009 at 8:33 am
That day I parked my car in a multi-storey car park, after finished shopping then I couldn’t locate my car. Forget where the car park, I spent almost an hour to look for it.
March 14th, 2009 at 5:16 am
watch lost — Sounds like that Seinfeld episode. Poor thing! I’m fairly good at finding my car, but only because I spend a good deal of time memorizing 1) the pole letter nearest my car, and 2) which entrance I came in at the store.
March 15th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
You are not alone! I also get sooo lost sooo easy. My town is a one light town and I have gotten lost in it. That is bad. When people give me instructions they have to give a very detailed one. But the funny thing is that I can give instructions, but then I often times get myself lost when I try to use them. How sad….=(
March 19th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Oh God! C’est la vie however if I was in your situation, I would have remebered Peter Sellers’s, The Party when he used to say: Burdi, Num Num!