The Junk Drawer

Hi, folks. Remember this post wherein I told you I was so worried about being picked for jury duty and lots of you said I probably wouldn’t get picked?

And then remember when you all left really interesting comments and I responded to them for a good stretch and then I stopped cold and ignored you completely?

Yeah, well, I got picked.

On the day of jury selection, I sat among a horde of prospective jurors, watching as batches of people were summoned while I remained unpicked. We broke for lunch and then afterwards started the waiting game again. I made it all the way until 3:30, thinking my day would soon be over.

Not so fast.  The last 40 of us were called into a courtroom, where we were asked a series of questions that got some prospects eliminated. The attorneys spent about 20 minutes reviewing our questionnaires, circling the names of some, while crossing off the names of others. When they were finished, it was time to read off the numbers of those who were selected. I was Juror #3.

Right off the bat, they picked jurors 1, 2 and me. Crap on a stick. It didn’t take long to hear the rest and before I knew it, I found myself taking an oath in the jury box.

The judge told us we couldn’t talk about the case and specifically mentioned not blogging the details. So like a good juror, I shut up and didn’t blog about it. I ignored everyone who asked me if I got picked. Just disappeared. I’m sorry I left you hanging, but the judge made us swear.

So what kind of trial did I get put on? Attempted homicide. My first time being called for jury duty and I get attempted murder. Joy.

I spent the next ten days stressing about it until the day we were to report for duty, which was this Monday. We were told the trial could last up to a week, so I put up a post that could live without me. I needed to be laser-focused for this thing.

What’s the good news? The day of the trial, we were led into a jury room where we waited several hours before the judge came in and told us the trial was dismissed! He explained in detail why that happened, but all I really heard was dismissed, dismissed, dismissed. We were thanked for our time and sent on our way.

I could not be any happier that I didn’t have the burden of possibly sending someone to prison. I later learned the defendant was already serving time for another serious crime, and had we convicted him, it’s possible he would have seen a good chunk of the rest of his life behind bars.

Not sure I would have wanted that on my mind. Still, I would have done my civic duty and been proud of it. I’ll do it again if I must, but since I’m considered to have already served, I can’t be called again for at least three more years.

Again, sorry I couldn’t post about this until now. Glad you had fun with the Comment Game while I took a little break from blogging. I hope to have a What’s That post up this weekend. It’s time for something light and fun. I’ve had enough serious for the week.

I’ll be away from the blog most of the week and won’t be able to check in very much. So I’m offering up a little game you can play without me. I stole it from Sandee at Comedy Plus, who stole it from someone else.

It’s very simple. I start the game off by listing two words or phrases, like waffles or pancakes, and you pick the one you like better. You can explain why if you like.

Then you leave two more words or phrases for the next commenter to choose from. If someone derails the game, will someone please jump in and get it back on track? Thanks!

Ready? First comment: Facebook or Twitter?

Go!

Psssst! Over here! Yeah, you.

I’m talking to you, the ones in the corner over there. I see you.

The ones who read Junk Drawer. The ones who stop by every post, maybe laugh a little and then click away.

Yeah, you. THE LURKERS! I know you’re out there.

What I don’t know is why you lurk. I’m proclaiming today Delurk on The Junk Drawer Day.

How did you discover Junk Drawer?

If you don’t usually comment, why?

Do you read so many blogs, you don’t have time to comment?

Do you lurk because you just like to read and not be seen?

Do you lurk because other commenters already say what’s on your mind?

Does the word "lurk" sound funny to you when you say it over and over? Lurk, lurk, lurk, lurk, lurk, lurk, LURK!

I will admit I’m a lurker on some blogs. On ones that receive hundreds of comments, I feel like I’ll get lost in the shuffle. Sometimes the people who comment are way funnier and creative than me and I don’t want to look like a fool. Imagine that. Me. Worrying about looking like a fool.

So what’s your reason? Why do you lurk?

Oh, and you do realize that if you comment now, you’re no longer a lurker? Congratulations! Feels good, doesn’t it?

Hubs: We’re having broccoli with dinner.

Me: Not anytime soon we’re not.

Hubs: Crap.

One of the reasons I admire cats is their fastidious nature, especially with their bathroom habits. I love that my cats feel the need to bury their business.

It means I don’t have to see it au natural. A deposit covered in kitty litter is infinitely more tolerable to clean up than one that isn’t.

Which is why I was monumentally grossed out when one of my cats came running up from the basement and flung from his butt a large deposit that hadn’t detached itself at the litter box. Right there in the living room. Thanks, buddy.

He looked at me. I looked at it. Both of us ran away in horror.

I immediately went to the sink, wet some paper towels and, when I picked it up, almost vomited. In my hurry to get rid of the offense, I forgot that the deposit would be piping hot.

Now. Dog owners. Here’s the question. If you take your dog for a walk and you have pooper scooper laws where you live, how do you collect and carry away your dog’s business?

I’ve very serious. I want to know how you do doggie doo duty. Do you use a special glove? Do you use a plastic bag, grab it from the inside, then turn it inside out and knot it? I mean, plastic bags are thin. Don’t you want to vomit? Do you wait for the deposit to cool off before picking it up?

This whole process of having to clean up after a dog like that blows my mind. I once saw a guy dressed in a business suit, walking his dog before work. He held a cup of coffee in his left hand and a bag of poo in his right. I wouldn’t do it myself, but man, I admire anyone who can.

Woof!