The Junk Drawer

You may notice in the comments section that some people have a picture associated with their names, and others just have the default Junk Drawer icon (shown at left). How is that done?

This blog uses a WordPress plug-in called Easy Gravatars, which harvests images (or avatars) associated with email accounts registered with My Gravatars. It’s a free service, where you enter your email address (you can create more than one) and then associate a picture with it. When you use that email address on a blog comment, the picture you choose will appear along with it.

Sign-up is simple. Go to Gravatar.com and enter the email address(es) you use on blogs. Choose an image to use for that email, crop it and then associate it with that address. When you leave a comment on any gravatar-enabled blog, your picture will show up next to your name.

If you have any questions, or if you want to test it out, drop a comment in the drawer.

Note: I got some help with my Junk Drawer icon from The Awesome and Talented Kev at Special Kind of Stupid. He was able to tweak a larger logo I created using Flickr images. Eventually, another version of this icon will appear at the top of my blog. Thanks, Kev!

If you’ve ever watched the Deleted Scenes section of a DVD, you probably thought You know, there’s a reason why they were deleted. Today we have the blog version of that.

Here’s a list of some ideas I had for posts that didn’t make the cut for the reasons specified. If someone actually wants me to take these ideas through to completion, cast your vote in the comments.

1.  Guess the mold, win a prize.  I have a picture of a Tupperware container with some mold firmly attached to the lid. The mold is chunky, blue and hairy. I have a separate picture of the food that caused the mold. I was going to have a contest to see if anyone could guess what the source of the mold was, just by looking at the lid. It is so foul, though, I’m afraid I would lose readers. And I cherish you fine people.

2. Ugliness upstaged by uglier ugliness. On December 27, I posted what I then billed as The Mother of All Bad Pictures. I have since found a picture that is worse. I am shocked anew every time I look at it. I don’t want to believe it’s actually me. It’s from the 5th grade. I look like a troll.

3. As a remedy for writer’s block, I wanted to pose a simple question: “What would you like me to write about?” But my husband thought it was a bad idea to admit I didn’t have anything to write about. But I also thought it might be fun to see what you asked for. As long as the questions aren’t rude, vulgar or too personal, I’m up for anything.

So should these ideas remain buried forever? Or are you just a little bit curious?

It’s the weekend, but school’s still in session. Click the Feed Me tab in my blog’s header to get a tutorial on subscribing to my blog via RSS feed or email.

I also include an explanation and fix for a recently-discovered problem with Blogger’s page redirection. Thanks, Google. You’re the crappy gift that keeps on giving.

Warning:  If you only watch public television or if don’t even own a TV, go away now or this post will make your over-cultured head explode. I mean it.

What we have today is my list of TV guilty pleasures. By definition, they are:

Shows that you wouldn’t admit to watching in mixed company.

Shows with little, if any, redeeming value.

Shows that you’re terribly embarrassed you enjoy.

I’ll link to some informational web sites about these shows so that non-U.S. readers, who may have never heard of them, can get a better sense of why I can’t be trusted with the remote control.

Here we go.

1. The Brady Bunch — (in syndication) I have seen every episode of The Brady Bunch more than a dozen times. I grew up on this show in the 70s and it’s got kitsch written all over it. Forty-something women have no excuse for knowing the dialogue word-for-word from any show that has been lampooned so brutally in theatre and movies. Bonus: I bought this book and thoroughly enjoyed it.

2. The Price is Right (current) — This is a long-running daytime game show featuring price-guessing games, played by people who look like they were pulled off the street five minutes before taping. It’s the kind of show most people wouldn’t watch, even if they were home sick with the flu. I have watched it when I’m home sick because there’s no greater remedy for what ails me than watching someone fall to the floor because they overspun the gigantic money wheel trying to get a spot in the Showcase Showdown.

3.  America’s Next Top Model (current) — This is a show for 13-year-old girls to learn how to damage their self-esteem even further than it already is. It has no redeeming value, yet I have been known to blow most of a Saturday watching marathon airings of previous seasons I’ve already seen. I hang my non-model-y head in shame.

4.  The Anna Nicole (Smith) Show (2002 – 2004) — Two words: Train Wreck. RIP, by the way.

5.  Family Feud (current) — “Survey Says!” this is a stupid show, but I love it anyway. The questions are as silly as they come, the contestants insist on clapping for every answer they give, no matter how dumb, and I hate the noise the answer board makes when correct answers are revealed. Yeah. What’s not to love?

6.  Supermarket Sweep (1990-1995) — The grand daddy of all TV guilty pleasures, and oh, how I miss it. After a series of grocery-related questions that earn contestants shopping spree time, they fire up their carts and run around the store trying to collect the most expensive items. The contestants whose carts are tallied and cost the most get to move onto the bonus round.

What makes this the all-time most embarrassing admission for me is that I used to TAPE THE SHOW and watch it after work every day. My sister Ann loves to mock me whenever the subject comes up and I absolutely deserve it. Here’s a clip of the best part of the show, where contestants run around the store collecting their items. Fast-forward to the 1:30 mark if you can’t stand the suspense.

Now, here’s the part where you embarrass yourselves. If you dare, drop a comment in the drawer and let me know your TV guilty pleasures. Remember, the embarrassment level is key here. The more you’re mortified, the better!

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No one at Humor-Blogs.com will let me have the remote.

I have issues and everyone knows it. It’s really only a question of degree.

While waiting to collect two friends for lunch yesterday, I was standing by one of their desks and noticed it was not aligned with the wall. “Rich, why is your desk crooked?”

“I don’t know. Does it bother you?”

“Yeah. I know. It shouldn’t. But fix it.”

And so he lifted the 200 pound desk and righted it because he knows if he doesn’t, I will whine and complain and then no one’s getting to lunch on time.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is an anxiety disorder:

characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). Repetitive behaviors such as handwashing, counting, checking, or cleaning are often performed with the hope of preventing obsessive thoughts or making them go away. Performing these so-called “rituals,” however, provides only temporary relief, and not performing them markedly increases anxiety.

I’m pretty sure I don’t qualify clinically, but I have my fair share of odd behaviors that might put me in the ballpark. Here’s my list of things that some might consider obsessive, irrational or just plain stupid. Is there an NIMH definition for stupid?

Let’s begin.

1.  While driving, I’m troubled if I’m delayed by anything that puts my car under a bridge, however briefly. I don’t like to sit under an overpass because I think the bridge will fall and crush me.

2.  I’ve never pressed the mileage reset button in my car. When I bought it new 7 years ago, there were only 16 miles on the odometer. I have never pressed the button that resets it to zero. I can’t do it. I don’t know why. I just can’t.

3.  If it’s raining and I pull into my garage, I have to keep my wipers going until all the rain is cleared. I can’t let one or two streams of water crawl down the windshield. No drips allowed.

4.  If I turn off a two-way lamp that has only a single-wattage bulb in it, I have to turn it to the OFF position, not the second position because I’m afraid juice will continue to flow and somehow that will start a fire.

5.  I must align picture frames wherever I find them crooked. I’ve realigned pictures in my colleagues’ offices, in other people’s houses, and just recently, in a restaurant. Does that embarrass me? Yes, but I do it anyway and I feel better.

6.  I won’t take a shopping cart at a store if it has papers or coupon flyers in it. I won’t pull them out. I’ll pick another cart.

7.  I never let a microwave run down to zero on the timer. I have to catch it to within 10 seconds of finishing and manually shut it off. I love catching it at the one second mark. It makes me feel like I beat it in a race.

Shake your head if you will, but I would bet some of you have weirder things on your lists. Do you have any rituals? Anything you always have to do (or can’t do), yet can’t explain?

Please share. The only thing that keeps me afloat is knowing there are people worse off than me.

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Humor-bloggers are an obsessive bunch.