Paying for My Laziness
Stupid things I do January 10th, 2008Last month I treated everyone to the product of my laziness: The Pumpkin Tree Display. Make sure you go look at it to see how nice it looked a couple weeks ago.
Here’s how it looks now. The day before I took this picture, none of these pumpkins looked that bad. They had mold, yes. But they were still round. And not oozing. And still pumpkins.
Somewhere between 7AM and 5PM Monday, the two orange ones simply gave up the fight. Actually, they had help. Here in eastern PA, we enjoyed a 70+ degree day, blue skies and balmy. Me thinks this isn’t the best environment for three-month-old pumpkins to thrive.
Now, we had trash pickup day on Thursday. Do you think I’d be smart enough to take them to the curb? Of course not. Here they will sit for another week and God knows what they’ll look like then. 
Since it seems that members of the pumpkin family have a built-in, self-implosion mechanism in place, it’s my hope that they will keep imploding and somehow they will disappear on their own and I won’t have to don a gas mask and hazmat gear to remove them.
I no longer go out to turn the Christmas tree lights on. I’m afraid of the pumpkins. But someday I’m going to have to face my fear and bag these babies up. It wouldn’t surprise me if maggoty things are living under them. I’m paying dearly for my laziness.
Pray for me.
Stumble it!
January 10th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Hate to tell you this but for sure there are maggotty things under there…:):)
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January 10th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
I’m surprised your squirrels don’t eat them. Ours never last long enough to deteriorate. Maybe sqirrels have standards, after all.
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January 10th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Robert — The pumpkin on the left was oozing last weekend, but it’s all dried up now. I’m praying that there isn’t much liquid left in that one and nothing for the maggots to eat. Do maggots eat rind? I’m grossing myself out. Nevermind.
JD — Now that you mentioned it, I haven’t seen our squirrels lately. They usually sit on the porch and eat from our old birdhouse (which is also laying out there, such slobs we are). Not getting as many birds, either. I think all the fauna is mad at us and refusing to visit until we rid of our mess.
January 10th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
My only question is – WHY ? Why can’t you just bag them and throw them away ?
Are you performing some kind of experiment ?
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January 10th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
One word. Fertilizer. Just get a broom and shove them into the grass and fugeddaboutit.
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January 10th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Well, just to summarize – the squirrels clearly did try to eat them and were poisoned for their efforts. I have no problem with you leaving them – but you may want to consider shoveling the ‘display’ off the concrete at least. Oh, thanks for the laugh and happy new year.
January 10th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
omg. I say just leave it for a few more weeks and add some red & pink hearts. Get all 3 holidays in at once.
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January 10th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Nothing a guy hates worse than a woman with saggy melons.
I know, they’re not technically melons, but the joke is funnier that way.
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January 11th, 2008 at 12:15 am
Wow.. those pumpkins have really deflated haven’t they? It is going to be one disgusting job picking those babies up and throwing them in the trash.
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January 11th, 2008 at 1:59 am
Oh! How I wish the pumpkin are turned into pumpkin soup!
January 11th, 2008 at 6:14 am
Jaffer — Because I’m lazy, and I waited too long, and now I’m just scared. It’s not an experiment. This is an experiment: http://www.stinkymeat.net/ (Do not view if you’re eating).
Libertine — Really? Can I do that? I really want to do that.
Canucklehead (who has the most awesome blogger name) — It didn’t occur to me that’s why I haven’t seen any squirrels lately. Great. Now I’ve killed the squirrels.
DrowseyMonkey — (who my husband thinks has the most awesome blogger name ) — I plan on making my Christmas tree a “holiday” tree. Yes, it’ll have hearts for V-Day.
Jeff — I’ll try to keep perkier melons next year. Nobody needs to see these again. Please accept my apologies.
Riayn — I love how the one on the right just sank straight down. Now it just looks like a donut with a stem. Mmmm…. donuts….
footiam — The day before the picture was taken, they were indeed “soupy.” The one on the left oozed all over. We just stared at it “Oh, look. That one is oozing.” And then walked away. Lazy is as lazy does.
January 11th, 2008 at 9:54 am
You can always try to do what my sister did up in Connecticut. She just left hers out until very cold weather. They froze and were then nice and easy to dispose of. Although, if I recall correctly, one was kind of stuck to her step.
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January 11th, 2008 at 10:23 am
I had an imploding pumpkin last year so i feel your pain.
http://allthatcomeswithit.com/archives/201
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January 11th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Eww – seeing the pictures at StinkyMeat makes me want to skip the chicken stew I made for lunch !
I think I’ll go for butter-nut squash instead !
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January 11th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Yum!
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January 11th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Michael — I’m very worried about what lies beneath.
Dan — What in God’s name is that white stuff growing in there?
Jaffer — The fellas that ran the Stinky Meat Experiment also did a Stinky Feet one, but IIRC the guy got a serious infection and required a doctor.
Marie — You must purge that image from your mind. Think of bunnies and flowers.
January 11th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Pie? No one mentioned pie? Sacrilege! Evidently Kathy will serve no fine rind, before its time.
C’mon. Who’s bigger? The rotty squash or Kathy?
Here’s your chance to carve your place in history by slaying the rotting demon called “pumkinitis”.
Do it.
Get it done.
And come back here with pics.
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January 11th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Ya see, this is where goats come in handy. Of course you have to feed this stuff to them before it get’s really rank.
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January 11th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Are you sure you did not take that picture from my front porch..?? 🙂
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January 12th, 2008 at 6:02 am
BigNerd — I can’t promise I won’t take pictures when I move the heap off the porch. Don’t worry. I’ll put a big warning up beforehand.
Windyridge — Hmmm, there’s a farm a mile from here. I’ve seen goats there. I’ll keep it in mind for next year’s display. I wouldn’t feed this to goats, since I’ve apparently already killed the squirrels.
Kim — Oooo! Another lazy person! Welcome to the club.
January 12th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Kathy, just leave them until the Spring and maybe they’ll get all fuzzy and start growing mushrooms. Then you’ll have your own organic garden! :0)
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January 12th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Lee — They’re still there. I honestly don’t know when or how they’ll be removed. I think it’s become a battle now between my husband and me. See how long we can go without making a move on it. I looked this morning, they’re deflating even more now.
January 13th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Those are some rough lookin’ pumpkins. Do they smell?
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January 13th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Social Citizen — Strangely enough, they do not smell. But it’s cool out. Now, if I waited until spring to rid of the pumpkins, that’s another story. I really, really have to get rid of them. They’re still there.
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:12 pm
There are some excellent tips here for new gardeners, I would have no hesitation in recommending to a new vegetable gardener.